Addictive Truth

“Truth or dare” she asked me as she sat down with her frozen margarita in one hand, and a shot of Tequila in the other. Her house was just as beautiful as she was. Tall ceilings with bright lights, exposing every corner of the house. Marble countertops with a shine that shows through your reflection, as if she spent hours polishing it. She slid the shot of Tequila across her marble countertop, and it stopped directly in front of me. I’m not usually a drinker, especially not of Tequila, but her soft brown eyes and those deep dimples that appeared on both of her cheeks as she smiled and awaited my answer, convinced me to abandon all that I knew to be true about myself. My heart started to pump faster as I felt myself picking up the shot of Tequila. I smiled at her and uttered the word, “dare,” as I closed my eyes, brought the glass to my lips, titled my head back, and let the taste of Tequila enter my body. I quickly put the glass back down on the marble table and opened my eyes to find her beautiful brown ones looking directly at me. She seemed impressed, I was impressed with my damn self to be honest. 

There was an awkward pause between us. I was hoping she wasn't going to dare me to do something crazy like run naked through her neighborhood or drink a whole bottle of Tequila. Although I had my boundaries and limitations, I was afraid of how attracted to this woman I was that I would've done anything she dared me to as long as it meant I could see her again and see her again soon. She smiled and said, “I dare you to live.” I was taken aback by her dare and looked at her bewildered. Dare me to live? I thought I was living, in that moment, with her. “Live how?” I asked her. She smiled and stood up from the marble table. I watched as her perfect figure, draped in a beautiful white dress, gracefully sat down next to me and placed her hand on my forearm. I was growing more and more anxious and could feel my heart jumping out of my chest, and blood pumping, as this gorgeous woman graced me with not just her presence, but her touch. The smile never left her pretty face as she studied me. It was almost as if she was looking into my soul trying to piece together my past, present and future. I've never been this close to perfection before and it was a humbling experience. She made me feel so secure but yet was revealing all of my insecurities. I wanted to tell her about my life, from childhood, to that brief moment in my pre-teens when I thought I was a certified rockstar, to two weeks ago when I got in argument with my family over the choices I've made for my life. I wanted her to be my wife, mother, therapist, and lover all at the same time.

She rubbed her hand up and down my forearm and replied, “choose life. I wanted to take you out, so that you could choose life.” The softness of her hand rubbing on my arm quickly turned into excruciating pain. I looked down to see her digging her long, freshly manicured nails deep into my arm. She was digging so deep that her nails disappeared into my skin, as if they were a part of me now. “I dare you to choose life,” she said a little louder, and this time, that smile that had been on her face all night, was gone. I tried pulling my arm away but her nails were so deep in my skin, the slightest movement felt like 1000 bolts of lightening striking me repeatedly. Blood started to ooze out of my arm and I began to cry. How could this beautiful woman who made me so happy and excited, cause this much pain and bring me down this fast? I started to lose consciousness and felt my body go limp. Why did she want me to choose life if she was just going to kill me anyway? Was this really how it was going to end? Spending my last moments on Earth with a beautiful woman with dark intentions. I felt instant regret for the decisions I've made that got me in this cold woman's deadly grasp. Pieces of my life began rushing to me and flooding my mind with images. Mom, dad, sisters, all who would probably not be surprised to hear of my passing. Mom always told me my life choices would get me killed.

I slowly awoke to the sounds of sirens and blurry images of flashing red and blue lights. I felt a huge relief as I heard the sirens getting closer, help was on the way. I felt a dark presence around me but as my vision got clearer I realized I was alone. No beautiful woman with a dark heart trying to kill me, no fancy house with tall ceilings and big, bright lights. Where was I? I looked down to see the marble table that was so perfectly polished to see through my reflection, had turned into a shaky, old wooden one. The tall ceilings that made me feel so free had been replaced with a low hanging one making me feel trapped and closed off from the world. Those big bright lights that made me feel alive were replaced by darkness in a small room with just a sliver of moonlight bouncing off the windowsill. My forearm had no nail markings, and my beautiful date was nowhere to be found. The sirens started to trail off in the distance, passing me by and leaving me in my darkness. I sat back in my chair and saw the needle I had left in my right arm. I quickly took it out and threw it across the room. I started to remember the argument my family and I had about the choices I was making for my life. That day, I dared to make the choice to live.