The Lilac Beauty

I stood there so still, so quiet, waiting for him to leave. I could see him walking around the apartment through a very tiny hole in the wall. I stood between two walls waiting for my fate. Would I live to see another day, or would the Nazi find my hiding spot? Would he see the hidden doorknob? Could he hear me breathing? I could feel my heart in my throat pumping louder than the bombs from the night before. There was a strong ringing in my ear as if someone shot a gun behind my head. He turned around. His big boots shook the apartment with every step. He got closer and closer and closer. I held my breath. I did not breathe. I did not blink. The wall became darker than it was before. Stars came into my vision before light covered my face. He found me.  

He dragged me by my hair and threw me to the ground. He started yelling at me. He grabbed my arm so tight it left a mark. He balled up his fist and swung. He swung at my face. He swung at my stomach. He swung at every part of my body. He kept hitting me over and over until I was left on the floor in a pool of blood. I had shallow breaths. Every inhale was misery, every exhale was hell. This was it. I had been hidden for two years and now my time has come. I lay there in agonizing pain. He looked at me with fire in his eyes. A fire of hatred. A fire of power. A fire of evil. He wasn’t done. He walked over after catching his breath and kicked my stomach. He kicked me again and again until I coughed up blood. I closed my eyes. I accepted my fate. I heard his loud boots walk out of the apartment shaking the building with every step. He knew I was going to die. I knew I was going to die. I closed my eyes and prayed. 

“God, we are your chosen people! Why, why must we go through torture? I thought you loved us! Please, please make this end! Please.” 

I woke up in a dark room. The window directly across from me was covered with a blanket. No light was seeping through the sides giving me an indication that it was nighttime. I could hear someone close by. I could hear them walking, but no talking. I heard their muffled shuffles on the hardwood floor. They were quick yet steady. There was a very dim light coming from the crack under the door. My eyes adjusted to the tiny light. I looked around the room. I looked for something, maybe something I could see or maybe something inside of me. 

I determined that this was a little girl's room. Her doll house was on the opposite wall. There were dried-up flowers on her desk and pens on the floor. The pictures she had drawn were scattered around the room, but the room still felt so empty. There was no presence of this little girl, no warmth, no laughter. It felt like a shell, so hollow and empty inside. She was gone. She wasn’t there. She hadn’t been there for a while. I can only imagine what she went through. I hope she is at peace, but that is all I can hope for. Peace. 

My thoughts were interrupted by the creaking of the door. I tried to get up. I tried to protect myself, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move. The pain was too much. Who was coming in? Was it a Nazi? They couldn’t be. I am alive. 

A young man walked in slowly. I tried to get up. I tried to grab something, anything to protect myself. 

“It is okay,” he said in a hushed voice. “I am not going to hurt you. I am here to help you.” he continued in a whisper. I laid back down or put my head down as that was all I was able to move. “My name is Bovi. I found you on the floor in that apartment two days ago. I was looking around for valuables, but I found you instead.” 

Anger boiled inside of me. This man was looking for lost treasures. He was looking for items to steal, items that had owners. Just because the owners were taken away does not mean they are up for grabs! 

“Anyways,” my attention was brought back to the present from his voice. “We are in an apartment a few blocks away. This one was abandoned so I decided this is where we will stay for now. This block has been stripped. No Nazis are looking around at the moment, but they will be back sooner than later. We are leaving in two days tops. This should give you enough time for your body to recover slightly before we leave. We are heading to Denmark. I know a guy who will help us get there on his boat. I came to clean your wounds and give you some bread. It's good to see that you’re awake.” He finished his explanation and slowly started walking towards me. 

“I can’t move my body! How am I supposed to get onto a boat?” I managed to mutter out my concerns. He saw the horrified look on my face. He saw the pain and sadness in my eyes. He saw me weak. 

“I will help you. I have been by your side these past two days, cleaning your wounds, and watching over you. I won’t leave you.” I won’t leave you. I won’t leave you. I still can’t get those words out of my head. He took a damp cloth and gently wiped my arms and neck. He grabbed a small piece of bread and brought it to my mouth. I took a small bite. It tasted so good. It tasted like hope. 

Those next two days consisted of me lying in a dark empty shell. He came and went every hour. He cleaned the gashes around my body. He brought me bread and water. He told me about his life, about his family. I came to learn several things about him. He was twenty-three years old and on the run. He was not Jewish but did not want to be a Nazi. His family died several years ago in a house fire. He was hurt, he knew pain, but he didn’t know my life, he didn’t know my pain. 

Those two days with him changed my life forever. He was there. He was my protector. He was my nurse. He was my everything. The two days passed, and it was time to move. I knew it was night. There was no light around. Not in the building, not outside, not inside me. He helped me out of bed. The pain ran through my whole body, through every vein, through every blood vessel, through every strand of hair. He put my arm around his shoulder and held it with one hand and held my waist with the other. We moved. One step after the other. Left. Right. Left. Right. That night was a blur, but somehow, we made it. We arrived at the dock and saw his friend ready for us. Left. Right. Left… 

“Stop! Stop!” a powerful voice screamed behind us. 

Left. Right. Left. Right. 

“I said stop!” He kept getting closer and closer.

Left. Right. Left. Right. 

I could hear the engine of the boat start. We were two feet away. Two more steps to freedom. The man behind us was running now. Bovi grabbed my arm and waist and pushed me so hard I almost fell. The man on the boat caught me before I hit the floor. Bovi jumped, barely making it. The captain thrust the engine forward and we started to move. We moved farther and farther away from the place I had called home, but we moved closer to freedom. Bovi sat next to me on the floor. We were safe. I rested my head on his shoulder and listened to the water splash against the boat. He was talking to the captain, but all I could hear was his voice. His strong, protective voice. I closed my eyes and listened, but when I opened my eyes, I saw light. 

We were almost in Denmark. The boat ride from Poland to Denmark took us about seven hours. What would happen after we got there? Would Bovi leave me? Would I be all alone? 

“I won’t leave you,” he said in a reassuring voice. How did he know that is what I was thinking? Could he see the worry on my face? 

“I already told you that I am not leaving. I know you don’t know me that well, but you will. I have some friends in Poland we can stay with until we can move again. Right now, the Nazis do not have a big impression on Denmark. You will be safe for the time being.” 

“Why are you helping me?” 

“Sometimes we just need a little helping hand in life. It doesn’t matter what one’s religion is or their skin color, we should all be there for each other.” 

We arrived in Denmark and my new life began. I was immediately taken to a hospital where I stayed for three weeks. Each day Bovi came to visit for as long as the nurses allowed. He would bring me little treats from the store nearby and tell me the most exaggerated stories of his travels. He told me how he fought a bear in the woods during a camping trip and how he rode a camel during a trip to see the pyramids. He told me his favorite foods and the things that he hated. He told me about what it was like losing his family. He told me about his childhood best friend and his favorite game. He would bring me books and magazines even if I didn’t understand them. We would play games and draw silly pictures until the nurses forced him to leave due to visitation hours ending.  

On the last day of my hospital stay he brought a bag with him. He came and sat next to me as always. His bright smile and dark hair. His strong hands and broad shoulders. A butterfly flew around my stomach hitting every side it could. 

“I have a gift for you,” his smile grew wider than the sea. 

“Bovi, you have already brought me so many things. More things than I could ever ask for.” My heart did a backflip. I could feel my cheeks turning pink. 

“Well, this is a gift to help you start your new life,” he said as he pulled the gift out of the bag. It was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. It was a very beautiful shade of lilac and had tiny white flowers around the trim. My face lit up more than the sun on a sunny day. 

“I am sorry that it is out of style, according to the lady who helped me pick it out. I thought this one was pretty, and it was on sale. Otherwise, I would have gotten you something in style, but I am a little short with money at the moment.” His smile started to fade.

“Bovi, I love it! This is more than I could have asked for! I can’t wait to put it on!” I slowly sat up and got out of bed, only with his help. I walked over to the other side of the room where there was an empty bed and pulled the sheet around. I stepped out of my hospital gown and into the lilac beauty. I had shed my skin of shackles and grew a new skin of freedom. I opened the curtain to see his head whip around. His cheeks turned bright red, and his smile appeared bigger than the last. My new life had begun, and he was in it. We left the hospital hand in hand spirits higher than the stars.

 We took a trolley to his friend's house. The table was set for dinner and there were enough chairs for everyone. I sat down at the table. I was accepted. I was not thrown out. I was an equal. We ate the best food I had ever eaten. Each bite grew the flame that had been growing since I arrived. I felt warmth throughout my body. I felt safe. Days and nights went, and the flame grew brighter and brighter. 

Bovi and I had stayed with his friends for two months before he found his own place. He invited me to stay with him as he was all I had. He continued to work at the local deli, and I became an assistant at the dress shop. We had warm meals every night and we even went for walks in the park twice a week. After a year he asked me to marry him. We had gone through so much together and if it wasn’t for him, I would not have survived. We had planned to get married the following spring, but that never did happen. 

Denmark was eventually taken over by the Nazis. They rounded us up like cattle. They stuffed us into train cars so tight we couldn’t breathe. We stood for hours with no room to move. The smells made me gag, but I had to hold it in so I wouldn’t lose the little food I had inside of me. They took us to a concentration camp where they took everything we had. My clothes were gone. My hair was gone. My flame was gone. I did not last long in the camp. I died after two weeks of being there. I was put in a room to clean off the dirt, but I was met with suffocation. We dropped like flies. Every person that fell was a flame being blown out.

 I wasn’t met with peace. I wasn’t met with happiness. I was met with anger. I was met with hatred. I had escaped! I found love! I was free! I was free. Now my flame is gone, and my love lives on without me.