The house was large, it was beautiful, it was magnificent, it was perfect in every way … except that it was very, very expensive. And Jake Harold did not have enough money, another problem was that his brother also wanted to buy it, and had a job as a detective, while Jake was unemployed. They fought for many days on who should be the one to buy it, and he even suggested that they shared the house but his brother had said no. he was always greedy like that, not letting anyone have something that he wanted or did not have. And if they had it he would be sure to disgust the person so much, that they would want to throw it at his head and shout FINE! And then he would scream in triumph HA! Jake stood there thinking about Jason Harold and how rude and spoiled he was. Yelling at his brother through the phone had taken a toll on him and his face was now purple. Looking at the busy cars on the road and the fish dancing in the lake he soon had an idea hit him, and as soon as it did he flipped out his phone at an astonishing speed (nearly dropping it in the process) and dialled Jason’s number. His brother almost immediately picked up the phone.
"Oh it’s you egg head." Said Jason over the crackling of papers and the tap-tap-tapping of fingers against a keyboard, in his office.
"I just had a idea."
"Its 'an’ you uneducated filth."
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" Asked Jake.
"To get to the other side."
"No, to calculate the speed of an car."
"Its 'a' car" you doosh.
"Anyway I had an idea."
"Yea what is it."
"Since we both don’t have enough money for the house, why don’t we have a competition?" Asked Jake
There was a silence on the other end of the phone then there was a, I thought of that last week.
"Oh yea, then why didn’t you suggest it?"
"Because I wanted to know if you were smart enough to think of it."
"Yea right" said Jake.
"What do you want the competition to be?" Asked Jake."
"Whoever can get one million dollars first."
Jake thought about this. Jason was already rich, while he struggled to even keep his belly full. He opened his mouth to decline, but at that moment he breathed in the fresh air, and saw the fish dancing in the water, and an idea popped into his brain, like popcorn.
He lifted the phone to his ear once more and said.
The next day, was Saturday, and that meant that he needed to go to the family dinner. Jake wouldn’t have said no to free food, but family dinner meant looking at his spoiled brother for an hour, and discussing his failures while his brother got to boast about the many cases he had solved. As he sat in the cab, he prayed that his brother had gotten into a car crash, and could not come. He also thought about this morning and how when he was walking circles around the bank and that he might have missed an ATM machine or a camouflaged door. The cab pulled up beside the familiar stone house, that was the definition of a miniature castle. Jake sighed as he handed the driver all that was left in his wallet, and grunted when he saw his brother’s sleek black Porsche parked in the driveway. He stuck out one finger and prodded at the door bell. The door opened, it was his brother at the door. His brother opened his mouth to say something but Jake grabbed Jason’s head and through it down at the floor as hard as he could. The head tumbled down followed by the body and he took pleasure of it until he realised where his brother was gonna hit. Crash a million pieces of glass flew out in every direction and the glass table was now no more. He heard a heavy set of footsteps and fast as lighting extended a hand to pull Jason up and placed himself down carefully on the ground, where Jason had been a few milliseconds ago.
"Ouch!" Screamed Jake, pretending to be hurt.
"You were the one who pushed me down!" Screamed Jason.
"Alright boys that’s enough." Yelled the father. "Jake sweep up the glass, Jason go to the basement and bring up another one of those glass tables, they’re on the very top-right." Then he muttered, "Its a good thing I stalked up on them last week."
It was a few minutes later that Jake was called to the dinner table and after that the had mentally Implant ear buds to block out the noise of his brother's droning. It all went fine until Jason said he got a promotion and as soon as he heard that, he grabbed his coat and slammed the door behind him. As he left the house. He walked home because he didn’t have anymore cash left in his wallet, and that he needed some fresh air. As he was walking home, he thought that, if he managed to pull off the robbery he might have enough money to hire an assassin. That night, instead of sleeping he packed his mask and gloves he did not have enough money to buy a gun so he went to his kitchen and brought back a kitchen knife. The ones that you would use to dice up some pork.
The next morning, he got up early and walked to the closest school and stole one the school buses. He drove to the bank that he was studying put on his mask and gloves. And grabbed his kitchen knife. With that he ran into the bank, and yelled.
"EVERYBODY HANDS DOWN-I MEAN, UP!!!"
"So what should it be, hands down, or up?" Said the reception who was not at the least scared.
"Hands on the ceiling-I mean palms facing the ceiling."
Another reception was chewing gum really fast and he ran out at him enthusiastically.
"Hi I’m Jerry and I really REALLY love people who rob banks. I help them you know. But in return they give me their guns, and I mash them up until their gum and then I start chewing them." Said Jerry really fast.
"Jerry don’t do it again, you know boss won’t like it." Said a woman who was polishing her nails.
"Okay so you can help me." Said Jake Ignoring the lady."
"Yes I’ll help you but you’ll have to give your gun, got it. Say yes, say you got it, say SOMETHING!" He almost screamed.
To be honest, if a normal person were to speak at the speed he did, then they were to surely faint."
"I don’t have a gun but I have a knife, can that work?"
"A knife. Hmmmm that might work… Got it, okay, I’ll pack your cash right away."
A few moments later, he had exited the building and the police were on the way as he drove by the chain of police cars, he crossed paths with his brother. And their eyes locked, but for only a second.
The first thing he did after he got the cash was trade in the bus, in return for a Mercedes. As he cruised back home in his new car he saw the many homeless men and thought, he was no longer one of them, from this day on, he was rich. Later that day he got a call from the doctor. The doctor said that his brother had been injured by a man in a bank who had a kitchen knife the ones you would use to dice up some pork. He said that a man earlier that day had robbed the bank and given it to him. When he saw the cops after him he attacked the closest man he saw. After the call Jake had no appetite to eat his dinner anymore. He spent the rest of his night picking out hundred dollar notes that he had stolen and made paper airplanes out of them and through them out the window toward the homeless people. Soon they crowded under his window trying to catch more cash. Until Jake just dumped the whole bag out the window. He was guilty no matter how much he tried to persuade himself that he wasn’t. He came to the conclusion that he should go and visit his brother at the hospital.
He drove in his brand new car to the hospital and got to his brother’s room and sat on the stool beside his bed.
"You know, I got enough money." Said Jake.
"Congratulations, you buy the house." Said Jason, weakly.
"No… You buy it."
"No you won the contest so you should buy it."
"I have an idea." Said Jake.
"Another one of you stupid ideas?"
"Brilliant, Go ahead."
"I was thinking, since we both want the other person to buy the house why don’t we have a competition?"
"How about, whoever can get broke the fastest doesn’t need to buy the house and the other person does." Suggested Jason.