Dreams about Miraj

I found myself cursed! Since I read the narrative about Prophet Muhammad’s Miraj last Monday, my life has been entangled with all troubles. 

I have no appetite for the whole week. Even if I feel very hungry, I can not swallow a small nut. Something in my stomach is resisting the external world, saying no to any worldly desire.

Last Tuesday, my 10-year-old son cried out hating me, no longer talking with me since then. I feel badly hurt. He is my only child. Since his birth, I have sacrificed all my life attending to him. I have spared no energy to search for the best things for him. I plead with my foreign friends to buy the milk powder and other nutrients overseas to ensure the food quality for his physical development at each stage. I cut down virtually all my own unnecessary expenses in exchange for his numerous costly extra-curricula activities and training courses at different grades. My only goal is to make sure he outruns his peers at the starting point of his life. Everyone else labels me son-slave while my son calls me tiger mother. 

Last Wednesday, I lost a big deal in business.What stupid I was to tell the truth about the training courses, which could not have been effective without the kids’ own hard work. Nevertheless, I used to exaggerate the benefits of the courses even by fabricating false records of high scores in our training center. If necessary, I would even play dirty tricks to beat my colleagues in the damned endless sales competitions. The only target is to preserve the title of top one sales rep in my department. Surprisingly, this time I began to doubt my ethic values and the mechanism of the whole profit-oriented training industry. Gosh, What has happened to me?

 I’ve dreamed about Prophet Muhammad for seven straight nights. Each dream started from the same questions Holy Prophet asked:“ Who are you ? What do you want?”

 The first night I answered: “ I am a mother. I want to create a good life for my son. I want him to live a better life than I do. I want him to realize the dream that I haven’t done.”

The second night I confessed: “I am a bad mother. My son is not happy because he has little time to play for fun. He hates me because I’ve arranged everything for him. Prophet Muhammad! I want my son to be happy. I want my son to love me again.”

The third night I replied: “ I am a sales rep. My duty is to increase the sales. I want to be top one. I want to earn more bonus for my son’s education. But I hate to cheat the ignorant parents who are anxious to find short-cut for kids as I. I hate to hurt my colleagues who work as hard as I. I want to be a sincere sales rep and get on well with my colleagues.”

The fourth night, I sobbed:” I deceive the parents only to preserve my position. I can’t lose this job, otherwise I wouldn’t afford my son’s high tuition and living expenses. After all, I am a single mother.” 

The fifth night, I wept:” I feel good to beat my colleagues in the sales competition. It is a time to win back my confidence. In my family, I feel discriminated. I am so jealous of my cousin, who earns money over ten times of mine and has just bought a luxurious villa in city center. I hate to be compared with her by my parents. I hate to be a loser. I hate to be born in such a competitive and money-oriented society.” 

The six night Holy Prophet told me a beautiful story: “ When we were created by God as disembodied sprites, we had the covenant with God. He is our Lord and we worship only him. At that time, we were all companions and intoxicated with the same wine. Then we were separated and fell into the traps of ego. We forget our original home and our covenant with God. In the end, thank God, we will arrive back and be liberated from the separation.” Then I asked: “ Do you mean I can get back my son’s love and get along with him?” Muhammad replied: “ Yes, you can.” I asked more: “Do you mean I can be friend of my colleagues and my customers in the end?” He responded: “Yes, you can.” “ But when?” I asked. He disappeared.

The seventh night Prophet Muhammad appeared in a spotless white robe with a radiant face and a heavy white beard, holding a string of amber prayer-beads. I asked again:” When, Prophet Muhammad?” 

“ The day you see God.” 

“ But is it possible? You are saint. You have the privilege to meet God face to face. I am so disgusting and evil. I am not qualified to see God.”

Muhammad stroke me on the head with his string of prayer beads: “Look into the mirror of your heart. If you know who you really are, you would see God in your heart.”

“Really?” 

“ But how can I find my real self?”

“ These worldly desires in your life are the best fire to purify your ego. Use them to transform yourself. Do not see them just as a competition for fame and wealth. Whether you win or fail in the competition games, you would know yourself better. Remember to look into the mirror of your heart when you are at a loss. I would be with you in your dream or in your meditation.“ 

“ Remember, overcoming your low ego is the real jihad. You have passed the stage of self-demanding. You are experiencing the phase of self-blaming. One day you will achieve the soul at peace. At that time you would know who you really are and what is real love.Then you will see God in your heart.” 

In that sweet dream, Prophet Muhammad kissed me on my forehead. “Go back to your secular life. Find yourself from the worldly desires. Call my name when you need me. One day you would see God in your heart!”

…

Epilogue: I use this story to show my reverence for Islam and Prophet Muhammad.