THE END, at the beginning…

THE END, at the beginning…..

The candle had burned down to just a puddle of wax on the plate; the last bit of flame diminished into nothing as darkness overcame the tiny room. He could no longer see his breath but could feel the stinging cold and believed it was dark outside. He sat motionless except for the trembling of his body that was trying to keep the blood from jelling in his veins. The last time he had looked at the thermometer was before the flame died and it read thirty-four Fahrenheit. It was cold.

“How did he get into such a mess,”he thought to himself. It seemed one moment he was confident, happy and self assured; the next moment, he was dirt poor, owning nothing and sitting here in this god-forsaken shack, freezing to death. 

It was Kathy’s fault. That’s right. If he hadn’t got involved with that little bitch, he would still be at home; home, what was that? No more than a memory now.

He pulled his shabby, Armani jacket tighter around his neck and remembered when he had purchased it. It had been a beautiful fall day as he and his wife strolled down Park Avenue taking in the sights. It was their second wedding anniversary… Oh, so long ago…His wife was the most gorgeous woman in the world. She had long black hair that dropped to the middle of her slender back. Her beauty glowed with smooth, flawless olive skin and long dark lashes that circled deep, emerald green eyes. He loved her so much. She had everything a man wanted. She was kind and loving and a great mom to their two beautiful twin girls. His girls would be around eight years old now, he thought to himself. He was sure they looked like his wife.

He thought back to how it all started. The insurance company where he worked hired a new team of sales personnel; three eager, and excited young students right out of college and he was selected to train one of them. He was accustomed to training new sales people. He was one of the top salesmen in the company and it was an honour for the new people to be set up with him for teaching. It was a Monday morning when he met Kathy.

His boss handed him Kathy’s file and he scanned through it. From reading the file he evaluated Kathy to be a rather common kind of girl and didn’t believe she had the ability to be a good insurance person.  He mentioned this to his boss as he took her file and went to the coffee room to meet her.

And that’s how it started. How could this girl, this mousey looking girl, get under his skin the way she did. But she did…each day he left work he could think of nothing but Kathy. He tried desperately to push her out of his mind when he was home, but like a temptress, her features would appear before him. It was her laugh that really hypnotized him. He even suggested that she stop laughing and she did when she was near him.  He could still hear her laughter from other parts of the office, and like a magnet he would stroll over to where she was and join in with the gayety.

At night he would wake up from his sleep calling her name. His wife asked him who Kathy was and he truthfully told her it was this new kid he was training at the office. He told his wife this girl will never become an insurance salesperson. She just doesn’t have what it takes.  He explained how it was troubling him. Many nights his concerned wife sympathized with him and then drifted back to sleep in his arms, but he could not.

He would fanaticize at holding Kathy and kissing her and making love to her to the point of trembling. He couldn’t sleep at night because he felt so much guilt from these feelings.

Finally he decided to ask her out for a coffee. Perhaps being out of the office would make him realize how much he did not like this girl. She agreed to meet him for coffee after work.

They had coffee at a small cafe and then, a glass of wine at a bar just down the street… then dinner, and then to a motel room, where they made love until the wee hours of the morning. How he hated what this girl was doing to him and wanted only to be home with his wonderful wife. He had phoned his wife earlier and told her they were having a late meeting and not to wait up. This was his first lie of many, for now he was hooked.

The next day he took Kathy on a road trip to teach her door-to-door sales. He knew he shouldn’t continue with this girl, but the illusional passion was too great. The motel was on the way, so without asking her, he drove his car into the motel parking lot. Jumping from the car he obtained a key from the office and together they entered the same room as the night before. The next day was the same and the next until it was three months of lustful meetings. He tried to stop seeing Kathy but every time he called it off he would phone her and within the hour he would meet her again.  

One day his boss called him into the office and asked what was happening because his sales were down, and his bonus was in jeopardy if things didn’t improve. He replied that he was just having a slow time; but nothing changed.

Then, about three in the morning a month later, when he again quietly slipped into his house he discovered his wife and little girls were gone. Why? Why did they leave? He loved them! He immediately called his wife’s cell and then made several more calls to her but no answer. He sat down in his favourite chair and began to cry. How could he let this happen? He had to make this right. He would get his wife and children to come back He would erase this past. He would let Kathy go. He would do everything possible to get his life back in order. 

 He planned to phoned Kathy to say good-bye. The good bye took the next three days and nights together at Kathy’s apartment. He never called his wife. When he finally went back home again there was a for sale sign on the front lawn and the the house was empty of furniture. He tried to call his wife, but she didn’t answer her cell. There was no answer when he tried to call Kathy, so he jumped into his car and drove over to her apartment but was told by the apartment manager no one was there by that name and the occupant of this apartment had moved out with no forwarding address. How could that be; he needed his wife so badly. He began to cry as he slid down the wall outside of Kathy’s door and hunched pathetically on the floor.

The next day he went to work and was told he was no longer needed. His sales had dropped right down to zero for the past four months and he was taking up space. He looked for Kathy but was told she wasn’t there and he discovered her desk was empty . While he stood suffering in his self inflicted grief an unknown man came to him, asked his name and handed him a letter. He took it.

The divorce was nasty. He lost everything to his sweet, pure wife and children. His house, his savings, insurances and investments as well as both cars, the boat and the RV. All he had left was his favourite Armani jacket.  He lost his dignity, his pride and his self-respect. All because he could not stay away from that horrid mesmerizing girl, Kathy. The funny thing about all this is that Kathy never existed.