Forever Yours

Forever Yours,

Breakfast is ready but there's not a sound from my little brother's room. I'd thrown some refrigerator biscuits in the oven and the smell of biscuits and eggs wafted upstairs. I stuck my ear onto the painted surface of the bedroom door. Nothing. I knock softly. Nothing. I haven't seen Jimmy for two days and I gotta say it's getting a little bit weird.

Almost whispering, "Jimmy? Are you coming down for breakfast? You should eat."

No answer.

I sigh and start to make my way quietly down the carpeted stairs. At the landing, I stop. Perhaps if he thinks I have made it down to the kitchen he'll come out. I listen. Sure enough, there's a sound of movement beyond the door. I wait. There's the sound of his computer chair bumping against the desk. He's such a computer geek! Hour after hour, he never seems to get far away from it. I sat down on the step and listened to him tapping away while my mind wandered back to what started all this.

Jenny and Jimmy were twins. They were like two halves of a whole - as close as twins could be. They even had their own special twin language. Even as they entered their teens they didn't give it up. On summer afternoons, at the end of the day in high school, they'd sit back-to-back on the top step of the front porch, leaning against each other, talking Dragonish as they called it. Jenny's strawberry blond curls splayed wildly against Jimmy's narrow shoulders. His hair, pretty much the exact same color was a mess of dreadlocks. Both of them were thin and gangly like young colts. It used to frustrate the heck out of me. I gained weight if I even looked at a brownie.

Now, I feel guilty for my petty jealousies: First of all, I envied their looks. They were so tall and thin. They were pretty. Jimmy in a more masculine way. He had long lashes and green eyes like Mom. I wished I was thin or even just pretty like Mom. I took after Dad who was a little bit overweight. Very ordinary. Brown hair. Brown eyes. I know why Mom loves him though. He's so good! He's smart and kind and always puts other people first. Sometimes I wished I had a twin too because they had their special secrets and they seemed to understand each other without actually saying anything. If they'd pull silly pranks on me, it was always good-natured fun but I felt kind of lonesome at times.

Jenny passed last winter after being in a coma for six months. It was a car accident. She was going to celebrate her best friend Mischa's birthday. Mischa had a new license. She drove the family car to go pick up two other girls on the way to a party. When they were all loaded in there, driving through that huge intersection at the end of Main Street, a motorcycle came out of nowhere and slammed into the front passenger door. Jenny's airbag failed to deploy and her head...well...it was pretty bad. Blood everywhere. Broken skull. The other kids had mild contusions. One had a shoulder injury. They recovered. Mischa wasn't even supposed to have passengers and of course, now she and her parents are fighting legal battles. Afterward, I saw Jenny at the hospital. All her beautiful hair was gone. Her head was swathed in massive bandages partially over her poor swollen face. At first, they thought there was a good chance for recovery. I felt guiltily grateful because she had a better chance than most; Dad was a neurologist and is now the CEO of Presbyterian Hospital. She had an army of leading doctors and research scientists looking at her case. She had more wiring coming out of her body than a cyborg. Every brain neuron firing generated a graphic or a blip on a chart but for all that, she never regained consciousness. Six months later she was gone.

Jimmy is totally in his shell since she died. He's always on the computer. The school office lets us know when he is not in attendance and that's most of the time these days.

Our family is so old school. Dad runs the hospital. He was busy before but now it seems like he's always gone. Mom works from home. She has a degree in graphic design but she works part-time as a copywriter. Before the accident, my favorite thing to do at the end of the day was hanging out with Mom in the kitchen while she baked. I'd pick at something delicious and tell her all about my day. She listened while her graceful hands were busy sifting flour or weighing ingredients. Every once in a while she'd stop to clarify something I'd said. She had a way of tipping her head that showed me just how in tune she was with my feelings and stuff that was on my mind. Later in the evening, Dad came home and we'd sit around the table and have dinner. It was a rule. Unless there was a school event, we had to be home for dinner.

Mom doesn't bake anymore. She doesn't cook dinner. I miss the old mom, the pretty one with an easy smile and cheerful green eyes with a little crinkle that went up on the sides. She used to laugh easily at my lame jokes, and when I was nervous about anything like a job interview or a new beau, she'd brush my long hair until it shone and then work some magic by putting it up in a fancy French braid. After Jenny died, it's as if the light went out for all of us, but for Mom - well, I don't know - she's kind of empty. These days she's pale with dark circles under her eyes. Thinner.  She watches a lot of TV shows. Mom used to hate TV. She said that it was such a waste of time. We pretty much fend for ourselves in the kitchen. Dad seems to work endless hours at the hospital. Some days I don't even see him until the next day. We're just trying to get through this together.

I smell smoke. What the heck! Here I am, daydreaming on the stairs and the biscuits are burning. At this rate, nobody will want to eat. It would be nice if there was anybody to eat breakfast with! Smoke wafts into the air. The smoke alarm flickers to life. Oh my God!

"What's going on honey?" Mom emerges from their bedroom, looking quite frankly, tousled. Dad is right behind her.

"Oh sorry guys! I'm just trying my hand at breakfast. Hang on!" I say as I'm rushing toward the kitchen. Despite the blaring smoke alarm, I smile to myself. Gosh! Did I interrupt something?

The kitchen is hazy with smoke billowing out of the oven. I promptly open the door and throw the smoking culprits out onto the lawn. Well, I guess I could make toast. I open the window. It looks like a nice day out there with a sunny blue sky. The air clears around me but the smoke alarm is still blasting everyones' eardrums. Jimmy appears.

"What ARE you doing Sis?" he says. Was that a mischievous smile flitting across his face?

"I'm making breakfast. What are YOU doing Stranger? I haven't seen you in two whole days!"

"Wouldn't you like to know!" Again with that smile. I roll my eyes but I can't help but return the smile.

Finally, the alarm decides that it's not worth it and it stops. Mom comes into the kitchen and offers to help while Dad wanders away to the office to check his work emails. I set the table. It looks like we are all eating. Together. Wow! Mom tosses the fried eggs which are now like the fake rubber ones you find in a kid's toy kitchen.

She smiles, " Good thing eggs are cheap huh?"

While I'm making toast, Dad comes back in. He is no longer smiling rather he actually looks totally stressed out.

"Bad news, honey? What's wrong?" Mom asks.

"We've had a data breach or at least we've just discovered it," he whispers, running his fingers through his sparse hair. "We can't be sure but it's probably a ransomware attack. I'm not sure if it's all the electronic records or just one department. We're going to have to wait and see." He slumps wearily onto a chair.

Mom looks shocked, "Oh honey." she sighs. "Did you just hear the news? Who knows about this?" She pauses to think. "You're probably going to have to do damage control, aren't you." It was a resigned statement of fact, not a question. "I expect the Board is in panic mode. Can you eat just a little something before you go, maybe some toast?"

"No. I need to get over there right away. I've called an emergency meeting. There's no knowing what these bastards are after!" he says angrily. "Okay, guys. Let's talk later. I'll just take some coffee and pick up something in the cafeteria. Thanks, honey."

He pours himself a cup of coffee to-go and heads out the door leaving shocked silence behind him. Dad never curses and it says something about the seriousness of the situation and how upset he is that he did so today. Mom and I look at each other meaningfully.

"Maybe it will turn out better than he expects," she says forcing a lighter tone.

Jimmy says nothing. He continues to butter his toast with bitter marmalade.

As the day wanes, there's been no word from Dad. When he finally arrives back home, he looks like he's been through a war. His hair is standing out in all directions. His nails are bitten down to the quick and he smells like cigarettes which he gave up three years ago after multiple months on nicotine patches.

I run upstairs to tell Jimmy that Dad is home. Then, we all meet back in the kitchen. Dad pours himself a whisky and swishes it down. He offers one to Mom but she shakes her head. No.

"It doesn't look good." he starts. "It's one department. Neurology. The information isn't gone but it's been tampered with. Copied maybe." He pauses to think, "Who the hell would need that kind of information? Brainwaves. EKG data. Neural networks? That type of thing." Then, "It's bizarre!"

Jimmy looks more than uncomfortable. "Dad?"

What's up, son?"

"Can I show you something?"

"Right now? Can't it wait? I'm dealing with some stuff here Jimmy. I've got the Board of Directors breathing down my neck. If the media gets wind of this we are sunk." he groans, again running his fingers through what little hair is left on top of his head. He pours himself another whiskey and looks at Jimmy.

Jimmy is determined.

"Okay, son. What is it?" he says resignedly.

"Come upstairs, Dad. I want to show you what I've been working on. You guys come too." he says turning to Mom and me.

We follow him up into his room. It's a pit. There are empty bags of snack crackers all over the place. Dirty clothes are strewn around. He sits at the desk and turns on the computer. We watch quietly. He pulls up an advanced graphic game depicting a quiet trail running through a forest. Little animals move about the undergrowth. In the distance, a figure of a girl moves towards us along the path. She has long reddish-blond hair. Pretty and thin. As she gets closer my heart clenches as I realize that she looks just like Jenny. Mom gasps and covers a sob. Jimmy says something in Dragonish and she nods.

"Hey guys!" she says somberly. "I've so missed you!"