LOVELESS MARRIAGE

It's really no fun, when the one you love makes promises they don't keep.

It's not right, it's not fair, when they act like you're not there, even though you're in the same room.

I should have known right from the start that you were playing with my heart, but I thought I'd give us a chance. Now I wish I never had, but at least it's something that can be fixed.

Yes, you said you're a gamer, I didn't realize you're addicted, never realized you're obsessed. They call it a gaming disorder and it greatly affects your mental health.

You won't get help, you say nothing's wrong, but you don't think about how it affects me. We're not living, we're existing, it's now a roommate situation, and I cannot live like that.

You say you hate living here, you keep threatening to leave. Well, I am not stopping you, it's over, take your stuff and go, I refuse to live in a loveless marriage.

I have tried to make you happy here, and I have tried to ignore all the negative energy and abuse you have thrown upon me every day non-stop. You supposedly got mad at my ex for his emotional abuse of me, and now you are doing the very same thing to me he did. How is what you are doing to me any different from what you got so mad at my Ex for because of how he treated me in the past. How is that alright for you to do to me now after all you said? 

Don’t you even see what you’re doing to me, am I that insignificant to you? Is a woman just there to be a slave, a cook, a cleaner, and a sex toy to be played with at your whim? 

Is this what love means to you? I don't even think you know what love is! 

The only thing that matters to you is you and I mean absolutely nothing to you because you take absolutely no consideration in anything that I need or want, or how I feel. Only you matter, this is how you are acting and how I see it!

NOTHING I have done has been GOOD enough for you. I learned your favourite recipes and cooked them, trying everything I could think of to make you feel more at home. One would THINK you would be more appreciative. 

What have you done for me?

You lied! 

You promised me so many different things before we got married before you even came over, and all were Bald-faced lies. 

Marriage is a partnership in everything including chores - LIE.

The little things we do for each other mean more than gifts - LIE. 

Certain parts of a woman are your favorite - LIE.

I've been the only one doing or keeping up with more than 90% of the marriage while you sit on your ass, constantly bitching and moaning about the USA, yet not doing what I have shown you proof of, that there is something that you can do to earn extra money to go home to the UK without doing any extra driving. But you Outright Refuse to even try. 

Instead of enjoying the TV shows that we watch together all you do is constantly complain and yell at the TV, at the TV shows we watch when there is nothing we can do about them. 

I could try, but I have to be over in the UK for them to hire me, and that relocation is not happening obviously because you would rather throw temper tantrums and act like a 5-year-old instead of doing what is needed to get back to the UK, but I am starting to realize that it won’t matter as you will do the same no matter where you are! 

Stop saying it’s because you hate the USA that excuse no longer means anything to me. If it mattered to you that much you would do something about it, but you are content in living a mediocre life barely making ends meet. Your favourite pastime is bitch, moan and yell.

It has become crystal clear that your only intention is to not try to earn the extra money that could get us home, and just stay here and bitch and moan and make my life a living hell and a prison because of Your insecurities in my following my dreams! How is that even fair to me? I've spoken with counsellors and they've told me it's not fair.

Then you accuse me of cheating on you when I am simply going to meetings and trying to Finally follow my dream of screenwriting and getting produced because You don't want to support me in my dream! I told you what happened to my previous works because of Julia/guardian, you acted as I'd never told you. I Had Told You! 

What happened to the support you were supposed to give me as a husband or is that only I have to be supportive of you?

You think everything in life should be just like the games you are obsessed with playing. Well, time to wake up, it's not!! This is not a simulation game, this is life, you only get one go round! 

I am tired of feeling like a slave or a piece of furniture. You do the minimum that is required to help keep this house clean, and leave me to do the rest. Well, I'm done!!

If your games are so important to you, by all means, find a way to plug into them and get an intravenous and leave the Real World for good, and leave me the hell alone!!!!

Go play your computer games as it seems that is the only place that you are truly happy and are not constantly bitching and tossing your negativity on everyone else …

So be it, just know that I live in the Real World, and that is where I will stay!

So goodbye to you, as you fear real life and prefer an artificial existence ...