A Frog, "Tale" For Anne That Made Her, "Hoppy"

A Frog, "Tale" For Anne That Made Her, "Hoppy"

Once upon a time in a gigantic metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a guy who'd just graduated from medical school at a major university called Lynchburg College. He figured being in the medical field would be something that was in his genes because there were so many other doctors in his family like his uncle was a podiatrist named Dr. Shoals. His cousin was a nose specialist who's named Dr. Pepper. His cousin was a brain surgeon named Dr. Franklin Norman Stine. His thing was he didn't get many people coming into his office because his name was actually, "Dr. Frank N. Stine," and his cousin was a general practitioner named Dr. Doctor. Some of his patients would come running into his office while yelling, "Dr. Doctor! Give me the news! I got a bad case of loving you!" Anyway, with all the doctors in his family he thought it was in his blood, although the one thing that actually was in his blood then was the red pigment known as hemoglobin, which was supposed to carry his oxygen around inside of his body. He definitely did not inherit any of those good medical traits from his family genes. In fact, the only thing he knew about for sure concerning his, "jeans" was that they were labeled with, "Levise" on them.

One day while the good doctor sat in his office, drumming his hands on his desk, he got a nice rhythm. That was when he picked up 2 pens and began tapping them on his desk like it was a drum set. That would have been fine until his secretary, who just happened to be tired of sitting at her desk, doing the same thing that good doctor had been doing with her hands. That meant she had to sit there, bored to tears. Then she decided to do something constructive instead of jut sitting there being, "board" so she began sanding it then shellacking it. That desk really did glisten under the bright light in her room.

Then it happened, somebody came into the good doctor's office with a bad cold. When he came out to ask that new person what was wrong with him, he noticed something unusual about the guy sitting there in the waiting room. That's because he was a dog. When he went in and crawled up on the table to sit there like all the other patients, the doctor was shocked to see a k-9 where his people were supposed to be sitting. Nevertheless, he'd never turned down anybody who'd come into his office and he wasn't about to start doing that then. He said to the troubled-looking k-9, "Now, then, my good man, what seems to be the problem you are having? Are you upset because you couldn't get to the 3 Dog Night concert?"

To the doctor's surprise, the dog said, "No, I didn't even try to get tickets for the performances. Their favorite song is, 'Joy To The World,' but my world definitely doesn't have the slightest bit of joy in it. I don't know who else to ask for help, Doc! Now, I used to be some real eye-candy with the women. Then a gorgeous, wicked witch turned me into this because I wouldn't go out on a date with her. My friends say I need to see a witch doctor, but they won't tell me, 'which doctor' to chose, so I chose you. Now, can you please do something that might help me, Doc? If you do that, I'll fix you a daiquiri with my secret ingredient, it's a hickury nut, so you would get, 'a hickory-daauiri, Doc!' "

Dr. Doctor didn't know what to do. He felt horrible for that poor dog's spot, but he had never gotten to the point where they taught him how to break evil spells in his med. training, so he asked the dog, "Have you tried praying to God? He can do anything, so I recommend asking Him since He is the greatest Doctor of all-time." Then he closed the book that he'd been looking in since oddly, it didn't have anything in it about how to treat curses from evil witches for some peculiar reason. He smiled at the dog and put out his hand, expecting him to put a payment in it, but instead, the only thing he got was a huge frown.

Since the dog was quite unique, being an odd shade of purple, he ran over to a pretty girl and stood at her feet, smiling. The girl's name was Anne. Since she'd never seen a dog that color, she picked him up and said, "Gee! You're a funny-looking creature!" and stroked his back. Then she sat down in her chair and kept on rubbing him. That was when she got the idea to take him to a magic man who was famous for doing things no doctor could do. As she picked up the dog and began to stroke him, his lips formed a smile. Anne said, "Wow! You're a unique-looking creature! I have never seen anything like you before! You can make me quite rich if I take you to Ripley's Believe It Or Not! All those people need is to take your photo. You weren't beaten with an ugly-stick, somebody must have used the whole darn tree on you!" She kissed the ugly-looking creature and enthusiastically scratched his entire body.

That's when there was a flash of light and a huge puff of smoke. When the smoke cleared, the dog had turned into the most gorgeous hunk of man Anne had ever seen. He looked at his hands and feet, then shouted, "Thank you very much! That broke the curse on me! Wow! Cool!"

When Anne saw what her rubbing did, she was over-joyed. "How did you get that way?" she asked, "I didn't count on you turning into a hunk of man from a kiss!"

"A witch put a curse on me because I wouldn't go out with her," replied the handsome man, "That chick was the ultimate in major evil! She really put the ug into ugly! I wasn't planning on her turning me into that awful thing!"

"Wow!" said Anne, "Aren't we supposed to get married and live a really happy life forever or something like that?"

"Well, it sounds good to me!" replied the handsome man, "I especially like the, 'lived happy ever after' rule there."

Later the couple did get married and the next year they blessed the Earth with another gorgeous girl. At any rate, that couple soon broke the Ginass Book Of World Records for the happiest couple in, not just the entire planet Earth, but for the history of the entire universe. That happiness was passed on to every generation after them, so like the best written children stories of all-time will officially finish up with, "THEY ALL LIVED, 'HOPPILLY' EVER AFTER!!!!"

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The end.

By, Cuz Roye, ....Now, please call me sometime or call me, "Cuz." Give me a ring, but I'm not proposing, rather make my phone play that lovely one-note melody which would be pure music-to-my-ears. Praise the Lord for Alexander Gram Bellsky, the first, "telephone, 'Pole.' " Remember, the best ways to spread news across the whole planet are by telephone, telepraph and, "tell-a-woman." Please call me sometime, or call me, "Cuz." Thank you very much. My number is, ....1-434-849-8268. Give me a ring when you can, but I'm not proposing, rather make my phone play that beautiful one-note melody which would be pure music-to-my-ear. That would turn my mouth from an n shape into a u shape. In other words, the corners would point north instead of south. My address is 2200 Woodrow Street Danville, Va. 24504. I had a head-injury that's left me legally blind with severe memory-problems. It totally ruined my whole life. Now I don't work. To win a contest would be the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.