A Window With A View

There it was again. I was trying to sleep, and the man in the cell next door wouldn’t stop humming. I’d never had this problem back when I was in C-block, but for some reason they had decided to transfer me to cell block A, where it was just me and this man in the cell next door. It wasn’t like I’d even done anything to warrant the transfer. I was a model of perfect behavior. Of course, you’d behave well too if you weren’t actually a criminal, and were put away for something you didn’t even do. 

I know it seems sketchy, but it’s true. There had been a home invasion turned murder in my neighborhood, and they’d found the bloody knife in my car, along with some passports and fake IDs. I’d tried to tell the police that I’d never seen any of these things in my life, or that I had no motive to rob and kill the family that had been murdered. I’d never known the Johnsons, or any of my other neighbors, since I always tended to be a loner. My reclusive reputation had backfired on me, and my fellow neighbors were all too willing to testify to my isolated nature and perceived unfriendliness to try and assuage themselves that they were doing good. They were doing good, by getting rid of this unknown variable and thus gaining peace of mind that they’d removed the threat from their cozy little neighborhood.

I wound up sentenced for life to a place called Hartlock Isles Prison. The thing about Hartlock is that once you get in the prison, they make sure you never see an ounce of daylight again. The cells have no windows or doors, with only narrow slots where trays of flavorless food are pushed through. All I’ve seen for the last 10 years have been concrete and stone. Of course, some of the prisoners do talk to each other, but it’s often discouraged by a swift thumping on the doors from the guards. The sound of the noise reverberating off of the walls in the little cell is a terrible sound, and it lingers with no window or door to escape from. That’s why Hartlock has broken so many that are sent here, and I try my best to hang onto my sanity. 

When I was moved, I was shocked to see that there was only one cell, and it was next to mine. A-45 and A-46. I barely had time to look at the numbers before I was shoved in my cell, and I heard the humming. It was surprisingly melodic and upbeat for a place like Hartlock, and it had stunned me when I first heard it. 

However, it was starting to grate on me now. How was this man so happy? How could he have hope in a place like this? Besides, it was night time and I was trying to sleep, though I wasn’t even sure why I bothered anymore. Everyday was the same. My appeals to the court were failing, and I’d be a pariah if I got out. Maybe I could-

“Psst. Hey! I know you’re there.”

A voice took me from my train of thought. The voice was deep, yet it was gentle in tone. I could also tell he was from the south, and the thought of being friends with the good ol’ boy made me cringe. 

“Hello.” I said hesitantly. “I’m new here. I’m Jesse.” I rolled my eyes at my own mistake. Now this guy would know who’s name to say to the guards when he reported me for fraternization. 

“Hey, Jesse. I’m Cal. I could hear you tossin’ and turnin’ in there.” Cal laughed arily. “I want to tell you a secret, Jesse. You seem like you could use some fun.”

“O-okay.” I stammered confusedly. I wondered what secret he had in mind. The fact that he told me his name too probably meant he wouldn’t snitch on me, which was comforting. 

“There’s a window in my cell. I can see the outside, and it’s so beautiful, Jesse.” My eyes widened. I hadn’t seen the outside in years. 

“Impossible. What’s it like out right now?” 

“Well, for one thing, it’s raining something fierce. There’s gonna be lightning real soon. And thunder.” 

I strained to listen to the outside, and I could make out a muffled crack of thunder. I felt a surge of emotion rush through me. Cal was telling the truth, and there was a link to the outside in Hartlock. His humming made sense to me now, he could see a light in the darkness, he had something we didn’t. I was filled with awe and envy. 

“How?” I questioned. “How did you get them to give you a window?”

“Simple!” Cal guffawed. “I just owned up to what I did. A lot of the fellas in here seem to be hung up on their innocence. Y’all in your little hovels seem to think you’re innocent. Y’all wouldn’t be here if y’all were innocent!” He began to laugh again. 

“I am innocent!” I protested. “And what did you do anyway?” I was nervous. I was a recluse, but I wasn’t evil. I didn’t know if I could stomach it if Cal turned out to be truly despicable. He was my first real conversation in years.

“Aw, it’s nothin’ compared to some of these guys.” Cal paused. “I was in a robbery gone real bad. My buddy shot the bank teller, and it all went downhill. Now I’m here, and he got away.”

I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. 

“That’s awful.” I said at last. 

“You ain’t any better than me, mister. I know what you did, Jess. Guards talk an awful lot. Wasn’t that girl only three?” 

“I’M INNOCENT!” I roared. “I WOULD NEVER HURT SOMEONE LIKE THAT!” I angrily punched the wall that separated us. Cal merely laughed again, and resumed his humming. I felt envy at Cal beginning to fester inside me. I wanted that window so badly. I wanted to be able to see the sunrise, I wanted to see the stars and the clouds. I felt tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. 

I swallowed the clump of anger and beaten pride in my throat. “Cal?” I asked. 

“You gonna flip out on me again?” 

“No. I’m sorry. I-I just want to know what it looks like outside.” I could hear the desperation in my own voice, and it made me ache. I knew Cal could hear it too. 

“Sure,” He said, with the same gentle, southern-boy twang that I’d first heard. I tried my best not to fall for it. I would not become friends with this man. This was just an exchange.

This was the beginning of a long exchange system with Cal. Days and nights would go by where Cal would tell me about all the beautiful colors in the sky, the shapes of the clouds on any given day, the way the rain felt when he stuck out his hand during a storm, the brilliant white of the first frost, and the way it felt when the sun touched his skin. Cal’s descriptions made me ache for a taste of the normalcy of being outside. I began to use his descriptions to create a world of my own. It gave me hope that I’d be able to experience the sensations I’d thought I’d never get to feel and see again. 

Slowly, my guard began to slip away with each rosy description Cal gave me. I began to tell him more about myself. I told him about the way all my neighbors had sold me out, about the way I’d never had many friends, and the fact that I’d considered ending it all in here so many times. Cal repaid my openness by giving me more descriptions of the outside. Cal would always ask me if I was innocent, and I said yes. Normally, that would make him go silent for a while. I never liked the silence, that meant no outside description. I toyed with this, by telling him that I did it. Of course, I was joking, but Cal had merely said, 

“Huh. No kiddin’.” 

He then followed it up with a description of the sunset, and it had been the most beautiful description I’d ever heard. A swathe of pinks and oranges filled my mind, and I was filled with a warmth I hadn’t felt in years. I could do this. I could get an appeal, and maybe I’d see this sunset soon. I went to sleep filled with hope I hadn’t felt in years.

Two years had gone by, and Cal hadn’t missed a day. Which made his silence today all the more concerning. 

“Cal?” I whispered. “C’mon, dude. Answer me. I can hear the birds. Is it sunny? Are the sparrows on that tree you told me about yesterday?”

“It’s over now, Jesse. You can pack your things.” Cal’s voice was different than I’d ever heard it before, it was cold and professional. And southern. That was still the same. 

“What are you talking about?” I asked. 

“You’re going back to your old cell. We got what we wanted.” The gentleness in Cal’s voice was gone. 

“I don’t understand. What did you get?”

“Your confession. You can kiss your freedom goodbye, scumbag. Hartlock has a habit of dragging the truth from even the most heartfelt deniers.” Cal laughed coldly. 

“I LIED!” I shouted desperately. “I just wanted to see the sunset! You…”

“I lied, too. There was never a window, Jesse. But I know what Hartlock does to people. I designed it to be that way. My greatest achievement, and you’re far from the first to succumb to it.” I trusted Cal. If that was even his name. I’d trusted in the window, and I’d allowed myself to hope, to dream. God knows how many others had been in my spot. They’d allowed themselves to be vulnerable for a taste of freedom, only to have it ripped away by an uncaring institution and its heartless creator. 

“W-was any of this real?” I choked out pitifully.

“Heh.” Cal chuckled, and I could picture the smirk dancing across his lips. “My name really is Cal. Dr. Calvin Hartlock, PhD, and you’ve been one of my greatest successes.”