Little Yellow Boots

Are people naturally good or evil?

...Are people naturally good or evil?

Well I guess the girls in my math class are naturally evil. I don't think they’ve ever said one kind thing in their life, when when they have it’s just for manipulation.

But then again that guy from English has to be naturally good. Cruel words never seem to sink below his skin, so he'll turn around to the same person who just threw swords at his heart with a beaming smile.

I’m not sure what I am yet. I would like to think I’m good, and my friends could probably back me up on that. I try to always be there for them, hold them up when they’re falling.

That being said, I can’t deny the fact that I always give my ex a dirty look every time he passes me in the hall. And how I flip people off behind their backs when I’m mad at them. And-

You don't need to hear the rest.

I have a short temper, alright?

Okay, okay, I need to get back to this essay.

Are people naturally good or evil…

Gooood or eeeeeviiiiiillllll…….

Ugh this stupid thing is pointless!

I slam my hands against the keyboard, making complete gibberish appear on the screen, which only succeeds making me more frustrated. Running my fingers through my hair, I take a deep breath and look around my messy room. Clothes from school are still laying haphazardly on the ground, making my jeans more wrinkled by the second. Rain pounds at the windows, casting gray light across my unmade bed that will probably stay that way until next month. I sigh and look longingly out the window, mentally willing the water to stop falling from the sky. I’m supposed to be outside right now, feeling the soccer ball bouncing between my feet, hearing the satisfying smack it makes when it arcs perfectly into the goal.

But no.

God said I need to finish my English paper.

Don’t get me wrong; I love the rain. Rain is the time where you snuggle inside with warm hot chocolate and bing the Harry Potter series with your friends. But not only is it wayyy too hot for hotcoco, but all my friends don’t have a serious case of procrastination like me, so they’re all blowing off plans to finish their homework.

Basically, they’re responsible and I am not.

I sigh and close my iPad, figuring I’ll be able to finish my paper tomorrow, and instead I walk towards the window, looking out it dramatically. However, my brooding is interrupted by my phone, which I happily pick up once I see that it’s Stacy.

Side note; her real name is nothing close to Stacy. To be completely honest, I suck at remembering names, so when I first met her in preschool I absolutely did not remember that her name is really Morgan. Instead, when we were in the same Kindergarten class, I spent the whole year calling her Stacy because I had no idea that wasn’t her name, and she felt bad correcting me. Of course I know her name now, but I still call her Stacy as a joke.

“Hey girl, want to get frozen yogurt or somethin’,” I say as soon as I accept the call. “I am bored out of my mind.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing your English essay?” my friend replies, her sweet voice crackling through the phone.

“Duh, hence the reason I'm bored.” I roll my eyes.

“Well, I can’t, because unlike you, I actually want to pass my classes this year so I can go to college and, you know, be successful in life.”

“Boo, you’re no fun.”

“Call it what you want, I still have better grades than you,” Stac taunts. “Anyway, I was on a study break and was wondering what’s up with you and Caly.”

At the mere mention of her name my stomach drops. I didn’t think anyone would notice if I was more distant with her, that I don’t really laugh at her jokes anymore. She’s always been a bit manipulative in the way she tells her stories, like you have to be paying attention to her at all times or her world will end and it will be your fault. I’m not really sure why I didn’t realize it until now, but now that I have I can’t stop noticing other things too.

It’s not that I want to cut her from my life, I just…

God, I don't even know.

Have you ever had that person. The person you always know you can go to, you can always call up even in the middle of the night and you know for a fact that they’ll pick up without hesitation? The person you feel that you are meant to orbit and that she was always in your galaxy just waiting for the right moment to come fully into your life. You can’t see the end because you think, you know, there isn’t one.

But then you suddenly see it on the horizon. Like a black cloud brewing a storm that you know will wreck the whole town and take everything you love about that person with it.

That’s how I feel.

And I can’t say anything.

Because who would want to tear apart this beautiful town?

“We’re all good. Why?” I chirp, doing my best to fake happiness. It’s not hard really. I’m good at keeping these wrong feelings to myself.

“I don’t know, you’ve just seemed… distant, I guess?” Stac proposes. “I was just making sure everything is still chill between you two.”

I nod even though she can’t see me, staring out to the street bellow. These three little kids have just gone running out, one in their little yellow rain boots, the second in a red jacket, and the third with an orange umbrella. The perfect trio. They’re jumping around in the puddles together, clearly excited that their parents let them out during a big, scary storm, though I can see their mom watching carefully from the window. The one with the red jacket jumps but ends up tripping over something I can’t see, falling face first into a mud puddle. The one in the yellow boots doubles over laughing, pointing at the other who is trying to put on a brave face. But the orange umbrella, though their smiling, walks over to the red jacket and offers their hand, pulling them to their feet.

“Helloooo?” Stacy calls.

I slowly look away from the red jacket, telling her, “Yeah, don’t worry. Totally chill.”

“Okay, whatever you say. I gotta finish chem. Call me later, okay?”

“Sounds good. Love you, Morgan.”

“Love you too.”

I put my phone down next to me, glancing out the window again to find that the trio has been ushered back inside. I hope the red jacket is okay.

Regretfully I end up wandering back to my desk, back to the essay. Are people naturally good or evil? I guess it depends on the person. Or maybe people are born both. Come on, I’m in tenth grade and famous philosophers couldn’t agree it out. How am I supposed to?

The rain pounds harder at my window now, and I can feel the black cloud inside growing stronger.