The Storm

Note: sensitive content; loss of parents to 3 children.

The rain was coming down so fast I was drenched in seconds. Yet I stood there, just staring at the road. I was shivering from the cold, yet I still stood there. I knew they weren’t coming, yet I still stood there in the pouring rain. I felt like I couldn’t move, and it hurt to even breathe. So I stood there, in the pouring rain, transfixed. 

A clap of thunder caused me to jump, and then I finally moved. I slowly turned away from the road and with heavy, wet feet, climbed the steps to the porch, where I sat in the swing, staring at the rain, not really seeing it. 

So lost in my thoughts, that I didn’t realize a small figure had came outside and sat beside me. Not until a small hand touched mine, causing me to look down and see the small hand on top of mine. I looked up at the face of my younger sibling, and then the tears started. I wasn’t crying for me. No, I was crying for my siblings that would never get to know the people that brought them into this world. 5 and 7 years isn’t quite long enough to get to really know someone. I barely got to know them in my 19 years, and now I had to fill their shoes with my younger brothers.

I turned my hand over and felt the small fingers entwine with mine. My brother leaned against me, not seeming to care that I was all wet and making him wet, too. I pushed the swing so rock a little as we sat there watching the rain. Slowly, the tears stopped. I looked out into the yard and realized the rain had slowed, too. Looking down, my brother seems to have fallen asleep. 

Watching his chest rise and fall with each breath, I slowed the swing, Not wanting to pick him up since I was soaked, I sat there a little while and let him sleep, wondering. So much wondering lately. I shivered when a gust of wind blew across the porch and though my wet clothes. My brother sighed and slowly his eyes opened. He looked up at me and smiled. I couldn’t help but smile back. 

He looked out in the yard and saw the rain had stopped. Looking up at me, he stood up and tugged on my hand. I got up and let him lead me down the steps, across the yard, to the main road, where he stopped and looked up at me. I looked around. No one was out except us. He looked out in the road in the center of the cul-de-sac we live in, to where the big puddle that always appears when it rains hard lays in the center, then looks back up and me and tugs on my hand again but not moving, not saying a word. Silently asking.

I knew what he wanted. He wanted to go splashing in the puddle. Something all of us kids had done throughout the years when it rained. I nodded and felt him pull me towards the puddle. Laughing he let go of my hand and ran through the puddle, stomping his feet to make big splashes.  The sounds he was making helping to patch the holes in my soul left behind from the loss of losing our parents in a car accident. It's going to take time for the holes to heal, but the patches will do just for now.

I stood at the edge of the puddle and just watched. All of a sudden i felt something run past me. I watched on as my other younger brother ran into the puddle, too. Soon they too were soaked through, not saying a word. Just running and splashing in the water. They ran circles around me, pulling me into the middle of the puddle where it was deepest. Looking down, I watched as the water covered my shoes so it looked like I had no feet. 

My brothers ran around me, causing waves to go back and forth. The puddle spreading farther out the more they romped around. I turned around in a circle, around and around. Eyes closed as I felt the water moving around my ankles. The boys had stopped and were watching me. Still not making a sound, just watching me spinning, and the water swirling.  

I spun and spun until I felt the dizziness take over and down I went into the puddle. I sat there on my knees, face raised to the sky, eyes closed, mind spinning from dizziness. My brothers dropped down on their knees beside me, closing their eyes and turning their faces towards the sky.

We sat there like that for a minute or so, until the dizziness was gone from my head. I opened my eyes and saw my brothers on their knees in the puddle beside me, the water covered their little legs.  I reached out and took their tiny hands in mine and their eyes opened to look at me. I smiled. They slowly smiled back.

We were going to be okay. It might feel like a tsunami was going on in our hearts with the loss of our parents, but we had each other to pull through the storm. Sure, the storm will sometimes try to cause damage to the very foundations of us, but the storm will always pass through, leaving a trail of destruction that we will have to work hard to repair with the faith we have in one another. We can only hope that the storm never reaches hurricane levels, tearing us apart. 

I stand up, not letting go of my brothers’ hands. They follow me up.  Walking backwards out of the puddle, we stand at the edge and watch the water settle back to stillness. Looking up at the sky, I see the clouds are starting to lighten and the grey clouds move on, taking the storm with it. 

Turning, we walk back through the wet grass to the house. As we near the steps, I stop again and look up at the house.  The siding on the house seeming to glow from the washing the rain gave it, giving it a new start. We climb the steps hand in hand, turning around on the porch to look out.

I drop to my knees between the boys, as we watch the sun coming out, the clouds lighting up, and far out in the horizon, the rainbow spreading from one side to the other.