This Is It

Oh no.

No!

No, no, no, this can't be happening! How'd he catch up to me so fast? I didn't even realize what he'd done until I accidentally kicked him. When did he even do it? I swear I didn't feel a thing until I looked down and saw my hand.

Is there some kind of anti-venom available? A vaccine? What if I just used a tourniquet and poured bleach on it. Would that be enough?

Who am I kidding? Even if there was medicine, there's no way our bullshit healthcare would let poor folk have it. And even if they did, you know they'd charge an arm and a leg for it.

Arm and a leg...

Shit...

Maybe I'll have to amputate my own arm?

No! God, no, I don't have the stomach to do that on myself. I couldn't even pull out a splinter without feeling dizzy.

But it's my only other option! It's not like I can ask anyone else to do it. Even if I did, who would I ask? Not Mom or Dad. Definitely not Jennifer.

Wait, what about Nick? I just checked on him yesterday and he's fine. He was teaching himself how to skin a deer. He could help me get rid of this thing. Yes, that's it! He'll even calm me down and give me lots of rum to numb the pain.

What am I saying? Stupid! Why would I even subject him to any of that? After everything we've been through together, that he's still getting over, it'll destroy him no matter what. Even if we do cut my arm off, there's no guarantee its spit hasn't already gone through my system.

I guess...

That's it, then. I have to sit around and wait. Wait for the inevitable to finally happen. Wait for this stupid virus to finally take hold of me.

How bad is this going to be?

Is it painful and thrashing, like in the movies? Will it be like slowly dying? Will I still feel or think? Could I even speak by the time it's over? What about my sense of smell? Oh God, I'm gonna smell horrible. Just like the rest of them. Please, God, please don't let me live with that goddamn stench forever.

Okay, okay, calm down. We don't know what's gonna happen yet, so stop jumping to conclusions. Maybe the transformation won't be as bad as you think. Maybe it'll be gradual, like falling asleep, or happen so fast you won't even know it. Yeah, let's just...

Fuck!!!

My head.

My head hurts so much right now.

I need to sit down. Can I at least take a sip of water?

Let's see how long I can keep it down.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. There was still so much I wanted to do with my life. We were finally going to Japan next year after putting it off for so long. I was gonna help Mom work on her new house and adopt a new kitten after. After losing Millie last April, I was just starting to feel ready. And I was supposed to finish my story this year and get it published. Yeah, the government might have tried to ban my book, but it would still have been worth getting it out there anyway.

I don't feel good.

And I... I was supposed to tell Nick I was sorry and ask if we could start again. I should have done that yesterday when I had the chance.

My stomach hurts.

No, more than anything, I should have been more careful. And it was just a small kid. I thought I'd be able to outrun the little shit. Is that what happens when you turn? Do you also get super speed?

It really hurts.

No, I can't keep a sip of water down. Shit! It's happening, I'm changing. No, no, not now I'm not ready.

Fuck!

Why am I all alone right now? Why couldn't I have just stayed with Nick? We might still have been attacked, but at least we'd be together. Can I even get to him at this point? Is it even worth it?

...

I just threw up. Why is my stomach still hurting?

No, not again, I hate...

Actually, this is different.

It's... pangs.

I'm hungry?

I'm hungry

God, I'm so hungry now. But all of my favorite foods sound so gross to me now. Pasta, cheese, chocolate—all of it is vile now. I might throw up again. Think of something else. Quick! Think of something else. Chicken! Actually, chicken sounds all right. Or steak. Or even venison or alligator.

Meat.

That's it.

I can still eat meat. All I want is meat. The rarer, the better.

That's right...

Raw...

Red...

Glistening...

Oh God.

Where the fuck did my mind just go? Shit, I really am becoming one of them.

What do I do now?

Should I let Nick know what happened? I guess I can just leave a note on the door and walk away. Make it clean-cut without all the emotions.

But why? Will I even make it in time? And what good will it do for him to know?

I'm sure he'll find out one way or another.

It's gonna be so weird being alone again after so many years of relying on him. Not that we'll really need each other for anything anymore. He can finally manage okay on his own, and I...

Well, I'll just get in the way now.

You know, for an ex-couple, we spent an awful lot of time together. We still lived together for eight years, adopted a cat together, went to games and restaurants together, and got each other gifts for every birthday and Christmas. We were even planning our big trip together.

God, this sucks.

At least he won't have to watch me turn into whatever this thing will be. And thank God we never had any kids together. I can't imagine how upset and traumatized they'd be right now seeing their Mother lose what's left of her humanity.

Then again, it's not like the world before ever made child-rearing easier for anyone.

Come to think of it, this whole thing might not be so bad in the long run. At least I don't have to go to work anymore. Don't have to worry about bills, or being evicted, or asking my family for money. No need to compare prices every time I'm at the supermarket. Actually, fuck the supermarket! I can hunt freely from now on.

Hell, I don't even have to talk to my Dad ever again. For all I know, one of these fuckers might have gotten to him, too.

Oh...

Speaking of supermarkets, what do we have over here? Oooh, it's a big one. Nice and plump. What's he doing out here by himself? He should know he's an easy target.

Hey you! Over here!

Coming to get ya!

That's right, run for your life, Butterball. Run like you never have before!

Which you haven't

....

Damn, he got away.

Pretty fast for a giant lunk like him.

Still, that was fun chasing him around. Seeing him so scared of me. Little hundred-and-fifteen-pound me who he could've picked up and thrown out of a window if they wanted. Who he could've flatlined with one solid punch just hours ago.

Chicken Shit.

Wait! I hear something else.

What's this?

A teenage boy? By himself? With a gun almost as big as him? He's clearly never held that thing in his life. Still he's got lots of meat on his bones. And some nice definition.

I might even have to share.

Get over here!

Haha! This guy's a terrible shot. I knew he'd never held that gun before today. Stupid little fake macho man.

I'm running straight toward you, and you've fired forty rounds. How have they all missed?

Pathetic.

Get over here, you fuck! You think you can outrun me, you scared piece of shit?

Ah! I lucky tree branch. He even dropped his gun as he fell down. And look how far it slid. There's no way he'll reach it in time.

Coming in closer...

Closer...

Gotcha!!

Ha!

I did it! My first catch! Man, looks like zombie life is gonna be easy.

Now, stop struggling. And stop screaming; no one's gonna hear you for miles anyway.

It'll be over soon. And no one will miss you.

Please, stop struggling. I've got you by the neck now. By your nice... juicy neck

So...

Juicy.

Hungry...

Hungry...

No...

Starving...

Feed...

Feed...

Must...

Feed.