Plandemonium

I rolled over in the bed, a sliver of sunlight shining through the blinds caught my eye and prompted me to wake, hang on this wasn’t right, it shouldn’t be light outside. “Holy crap, I’m late.” I blurted out. 

The alarm hadn’t gone off, or I’d slept through it or something? 

My head was muzzy and I felt a bit confused. Today was an important day I could not be late, this interview was gonna make me. I brushed my teeth, ummed and aahed over taking a shower then had a quick armpit squirt and hurriedly put on the suit I had prepped the night before and ran out of the apartment to the elevator. 

There was a guy holding the door, he must have heard me cursing as I rounded the corner. “Thanks buddy” I said as I stepped inside. 

“Going up” he said, and with that he pressed the button to go to the top floor.

I looked at him dumfounded. “Down” I said “I need to go down as quick as possible”

“OK” said the guy with an odd accent “don’t bust a blood vessel.” 

We reached the top and the door opened and then as it was shutting he put his foot out to stop it closing.

“What the hell?” I said.

“Thought I heard someone” said the guy “going down.”

“Thank you” I said again but it was premature, I seem to have got in the elevator with a prize winning imbecile.

He pressed the button for what seemed like every other floor, I couldn’t even get out and use the stairs that were shut off for painting He gave me a goofy look, like he was a sorry / not sorry.

We eventually hit the ground floor, if I got a cab I could make the bus I needed for the two hour journey to the interview. It would be OK.

I jumped in the first cab I saw and as the guy was swivelling round to ask where I was going a young woman jumped in. 

“Excuse me” I said. “I’m here first and I need this cab”

She looked at me and asked “Well what’s your name handsome”

“Steve” I said “and I really need this cab”.

“But Steve” she said “I get priority.”

“Wha, what do you mean?” I asked

“You see I’m stunning” she said “and I can offer the cabbie far more than you can”

She was indeed very attractive and dressed so as not to leave a lot to the imagination. She leaned forward towards the driver and very slowly said “Him or me, and I’ll make it worth your while” she finished this sentence with a promising wink and a rather sexy pout.

“I’m sorry buddy” the cabbie said “The lady makes sense, time to get out”

“But but I was here first” I said.

To which he replied “You sure was kid, but you ain’t got the right credentials, vamoose.”

“But it's illegal to discriminate based on sexuality any more, isn’t it?” I sort of asked and pleaded and it did kind of sound pathetic.

“Tell that to the judge.” Said the cabbie as he glared at me fist tightening by the side of his swivelled head.

I reluctantly got out, OK I could make the subway, I would rather not as it was unreliable smelly and crowded. I headed towards the station and guess what? a sign hung from the chains across the entrance. ‘CLOSED FOR ELECTRICAL WORKS’.

“Holy crap” I shouted out loud, the second time I’d said those words today. I still had a bit of time though, I wasn’t planning on being in a rush the entire morning, I had planned for setbacks, although the alarm clock had put a different spin on that.

I took off on foot, fast walking, almost running. I could make the bus station in time and with a bit of luck would have time to grab a much needed coffee to nurse on the bus. The walk took about half an hour but I made it, no time to spare for that coffee though. I quickly joined the queue for the tickets, not a long queue and I had pre bought the tickets so I could relax a little now. Plenty of time to compose myself on the two hour bus ride. 

I couldn’t believe it, today of all days, every plan, every back up plan was nearly exhausted and now what? A drunk guy came barrelling into the line knocking all asunder and he wasn’t content in just disrupting the line he was out for a fight. Fists swinging wildly he made for anyone that looked at him as if they really wanted a fight whilst queuing for a bus ticket. He rounded on me and I backed away, he pulled out a knife and a few people screamed. The shutters went down on the ticket windows and everyone backed off even more. This crazy dance with the knife, lunging forward and then wobbling on his feet went on for far to long before the police came charging in authoritatively and wrapped up the situation. The ticket windows opened again and I rushed forward.

“Steve Jones” I said handing her the ticket confirmation slip and my credit card. She looked at it for far to long and then said.

“I’m sorry mister Jones, but this ticket was cancelled last night.”

I nearly flipped but rather cooly said “Then can I book the ticket now please”

“You could sir but it will have to be the next” she said almost with a smile “this one’s just leaving.” And with that I glanced into the depot to see my bus pulling away. 

Slowly I walked outside and sat on a nearby bench, I would call the firm and explain my lateness and ask for a reschedule of the interview. I flipped open the phone and dialled, it connected briefly and then the signal went, I tried again, this time I got through to a scratchy voice that couldn’t hear a word I was saying. I just didn’t understand, no signal, here in the centre of town, that just didn’t happen, I was convinced that if there was a God that he was laughing at me now. 

It was the last straw and I gave up. Dejected I sauntered through the streets heading back to my apartment. It was still morning but what the hell, I walked into the bar opposite my apartment, may as well sink a few and drown my sorrows. As I walked in I noticed a group in the corner and thought ‘wow, I’m not the only one off to an early start’. I glanced their way, their heads turned and their eyes met mine. My legs went a bit wobbly when my brain worked out that it was the lift guy, the attractive taxi thief and the drunk queue jumper, then that moment of fight, flight or freeze kicked in and I felt a little sick as adrenaline surged through my body but my mind didn’t know what to do with it. After a moment or two shouting was the answer that my brain came up with and I took a breath in.

As one they put their index finger to their lips and subtly nodded towards the bar TV, the barman turned the volume up.

“We interrupt scheduling to bring you news of a local tragedy” said the news anchor “Todays Greyhound leaving our quant little town heading towards the city today was driven off the bridge in a freak accident when the bus was hit by another vehicle coming in the opposite direction. The bus left the bridge and all on board were killed.” I was aghast, my jaw drooped and I turned around to face the group again. The attractive women patted the seat next to her. “We’ve got a different future planned for you.”