The worst part of all

(Note: This story contains adult language.)

My mother was packing things into boxes like they were trauma waiting to be sent deep into her subconscious mind—If only it were that easy.  

“Does she really need to be here for this?" I snarled at my dad, while looking at Miss Levy.

"Don’t make things more difficult than they need to be Rachel," Dad replied.

I hated that she clinched my dad’s hand after he protected her like that. Maybe she wouldn’t be so safe if he wasn’t standing between us. I rolled my eyes and continued standing in the hallway while my mum was fighting back tears and jamming more and more things into boxes. I guess I should help her. I grabbed an empty box and headed to the side dresser in my parents room. There were photos of us as a family. I picked one up, “Who gets to keep this?’ I asked.

My mum began to cry—by cry, I mean wail. Why the fuck is this happening in my life right now. I literally just turned seventeen, finally made some friends at my new school, and now my mother is packing her life away while my dad stands in the hallway with Miss Levy waiting for us to leave. 

Just when things couldn’t get any more awkward my two little brothers came storming into the room. One is barely five and the other is two—yeah, I was an accident.

“Why are you crying again, mum?’ Says Ben, the older one.

Sammy, the youngest, started to filter through the packed boxes and pull things out that appealed to his eyes. Mum had agreed for the two boys to stay with dad. Which I thought was crazy, he was the school principle now and never had time for anyone but work. Mum argued that Ben was starting grade one soon and who knows how many times we’ll have to move, we were lucky to even get a place in south side, she said. Not that moving to south side has any forms of luck, except if you manage to not get robbed. I guess the boys don’t need that kind of inconsistency in their lives.

I wanted to throw the photo at the wall, or at Miss Levy, but I placed it back on the dresser and decide that taking an already packed box down to the van was a safer option. I fought Sammy for the purple hair straightener and grabbed the largest box I could carry. 

My uncle’s wife, Aunty Lyn, was waiting in the Van.

 "How’s it going?" She whispered, with a disastrous look on her face like a cat had just been hit by a car.

“Fucked," I replied. 

She kept apologising for not coming up stairs—It was too traumatic for her. 

"When is uncle Dan coming?" I asked. 

‘Soon, soon.’ She added with enthusiasm.

Part of me wanted to join her cowardliness, but we’d be here all day if I didn’t start bringing shit down. 

When uncle Dan finally arrived, he met dad at the front door. I wanted him to punch his lights out. He asked dad if he was okay. Dad did a strange reassuring smile with his lips and uncle Dan patted him on the shoulder. I felt like uncle Dan was the only human in this family that had his head together. He began to point and give orders to everyone, he even told Aunty Lyn to get out of the car and start bringing boxes down. Within no time we had the van full. 

Uncle Dan stayed close to mum while she bent down and hugged the boys. Ben was annoyed and didn’t want to hug her. Sammy was confused and started to cry. No one except Uncle Dan said bye to dad.

The drive to south side was about forty minutes. I had to ride with Aunty Lyn. When we first arrived in the street, I had hoped we would just hall the boxes out the back and keep driving.

"I thought you said we were moving into a house, mum? ’ I yelled out to her, as she was walking down the mouldy, overgrown driveway, 'This is barely half a house."

‘It's all we can afford, darling.’ Replied my defeated mother.

All the carpets in the duplex had been ripped out. She said they were filthy and would cause havoc on my allergies. Its honestly the last thing I would have thought about after what she’s been through, but that’s mum. 

Uncle Dan didn’t want to leave until he unpacked everything, but mum told him she was happy to just be out of that house and needed some time to herself. He gave her a big hug. They both cried. I wasn’t sure how I felt when he hugged me. Tears wasn’t something I did very well.

Uncle Dan had already filled the fridge with food, as well as the cupboards. I couldn’t cook, but Luckily there were two minute noodles and a carton of eggs. Mum and I sat opposite each other and ate in complete silence. Mum began to cry half way through. Her tears were dripping onto the plate. I knew I should have hugged her, but I just sat there hoping she would stop soon. Part of me felt guilty. Maybe if I hadn’t screwed up at my last school we wouldn’t have moved interstate.

"I didn't mean for you to see,"’ Mum began to explain, "But I had my suspicions: the late nights, the strange smells on his cloths. I just knew something was wrong." Mum had purposely planned a trip with just us kids to the big four that night, she told dad it would be good for him to have some quiet time at home. She told him we’d be gone for three days—we came back that night. I still have the picture of my dads ass pounding between Miss Levy's legs on the couch. 

“I shouldn’t have brought you in with me," mum said, "I just wasn’t sure what I was going to find. I was scared." She cried harder. Neither of us mentioned the fact that Miss Levy was still my English teacher and that I would have to see her and dad at school for the rest of the year.