A withered Flower

what is a flower?

the seed-bearing part of a plant, consisting of reproductive organs. But flowers are much more than this. Flowers gives us power and inspiration to face this cruel world.

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Every summer at Gramma's house all my life has been full of 'Purdy Flowers' as she pronounces it. Not a single corner of her yard is without a flowerbed and there are always hummingbirds and songbirds from dawn till dusk.

Every summer has always lead up to fair time. Gramma has competed in the local fairs for decades.

When I first started to work with flowers I didn't even think that will be something that I love the most to do.

My inspiration comes from the form and colors of the flowers I work with, combining the colors between comes naturally and even without thinking about it.

I must add that Gramma almost always takes home Grand Champion prizes in every department she enters; crochet, canned goods, baked goods, photography, poultry, rabbits, goats, potted plants, vegetables, and my very favorite cut flowers and floral arrangements!

When I’m doing the bouquet arrangements for my customers I like to talk with them, too see how they are reacting at they bouquet I’m making, this was my motivation !

It was my favorite place during my summer holidays. A place where I can be without fear or sadness.

Because ever since my childhood, I was being bullied in my class. They used to pour water on me, punch me, kick me, and many more things like sticking needles on my seat, stealing my stuff and tearing my books.

I would always try to ignore them but the bulling gets worse. I always complain to the teachers about being bullied, But they shrugged of my complaint.

I came to love flowers and gardening stuff due to my granny's garden and how peaceful it was.

Every year Grandma would set aside a beautiful old Victorian boot shaped porcelain vase, I'd always make a monochromatic arrangement with it in pink just specifically so I can put her chenille flowers into cascade down the side of the boot.

One of Gramma's favorite flowers is a petunia so there are always plenty in any pink or purple, double or single. We'd always make an 'arrangement in white' in her milk glass and hobnob vases, a great place for lots and lots of her adorable feverfew flowers!

We had so much fun making our little bouquets, it's always a day full of laughter!

By far my fondest summer memories are during fair time with Gramma; spending the day playing with flowers and eating the 'reject cookies' that didn't make the cut for fair.

She was my hero, my favorite person in the whole world, such an inspiration in every way in every part of my life. My little shop had featured many of her handcrafted treasures from her crochet work and beaded jewelry to her fresh baked goodies, and her canned jams and pickles, which we made in my grandma's house.

I still remember me and my grandma planting flowers and trees in the backyard of her house. It was a huge garden, which she had grown by herself.

But one summer, while we were working in her garden, all of a sudden my grandma collapsed on the ground while watering the plants.

I was panicked. I called a ambulance, after 20 minutes the ambulance arrived and took my grandma to the hospital.

But it was too late. I was 10, my grandma passed away. Leaving behind the flowers in her garden. I tried hard to hold back my tears I could finally say goodbye to my beloved grandma. I realized then she was so dearly loved and had family to love her.

I took some flowers and plants which were dear to my grandma and me back to my home.

As years passed I never let go of the awful sadness of my grandma's death . Although the sadness was not as profound, it was always with me. I entered highschool at the age of 16 like a normal person hoping I would be free from bulling.

But I was wrong, I was even bullied in highschool, more than middle school. I became sader and sader, and the bulling became more intense as I was a easy target.

I always remember my granny saying "Life begins the day you start a garden.A garden is like a grand teacher. It teaches patience and careful watchfulness; it teaches industry and thrift; above all it teaches entire trust"

I always think myself as a flower. Every flower must face hardship to bloom right. This is just the hardship I must face, before I bloom was I always thought.

But this cruel world thought me that, not every flower blooms due to the hardships they face, and ends up wither, and fades always as it never existed.

I am also a flower which failed to bloom, I am a wither flower. Today I am committing suicide unable to take it anymore.

But before I die, I watered my lovely flowers, who were always with me. I don't want my flowers to be withered.

I am afraid of dieing. I have tryed many time to kill myself, but I don't have the courage to do that. Even if I try to drink the poison, I always back of before I could take a sip.

But today, I am not going to get afraid to die. I am determined to end my sufferings, and to see and be with my grandma in the other world.

"Fair well my lovely flowers and this cruel world" I drank a bottle of poison and collapsed on the floor. I am now free of my sufferings, and I hope nobody becomes a withered flower like me.

Tears were coming out my eyes, my skin becoming pale,I started to breath harder for air. And after a few moments my body stopped working and the poison had taken effect, and it successfully killed me with no regrets behind me.