Behind the Fence

Dear George,

I hope this email finds you well.  I don’t think we have met but I am your neighbor from the back of your property.  I hope you don’t mind but I got your email address from Tina, the HOA president.  I was hoping to replace the fence that borders our two respective properties, on the back side.  After that last wind storm that fence is bound to come down at any moment.  I was going to get some estimates, but given this fence is half yours, I wanted to see if you could pay for half the cost.  Please let me know soon.

Thank you,

Sara

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Dear Sara,

The storm destroyed the fence?  I didn’t notice.  The fence seems fine to me, but it has a bit of dry rot near the bottom, but that dry rot should not mess with the integrity of the fence.  I currently have a 2x4 braising it on my side and it seems to do the job just fine retaining that integrity.  I have a friend who does carpentry and I think he has built a few fences in his day.  Let me call him and see if he can give us a reasonable estimate.  I don’t know if I would trust anyone else to do the job.   

You got my email address from HOA president, Tina?  I was pretty sure she didn’t have it.  I have done everything in my power to stay out of that woman’s way.  She is a bit of a tornado. 

Best,

George

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Dear George,

Please get your friend involved and let me know the cost.  I am hoping to get this done in a timely manner as I don’t think a 2x4 will keep the fence up for the next storm.  It may blow over and we may end up sharing one large backyard.  But then Tina (who lives to the left of me) may butt in on your backyard business.  She has a tendency to peek her head over every once in a while on days when the sun is shining.  My guess is that you wouldn’t like that too much.

Sara

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Dear Sara,

That is a ‘no’ to Tina getting up in my business.  Let’s get this fence fixed as soon as possible.  I called my friend, Mick, the one in the fencing business, and he will be here Monday afternoon.  If you are around, perhaps you can meet us and we can discuss replacing the fence with him together and get this thing fenced.  Anything to keep Tina out of my hair.

George

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George,

Thank you for helping me arrange Mick to replace the falling fence in a timely manner.  He is quite the carpenter and I’m glad the cost was not too high.  It was nice to meet you face to face and see you close up for once.  Perhaps you can give that 2x4 another job like building a cage around your garden to keep Tina’s cat out.  She really seems to like your zinnias.  

Sara 

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Sara,

That 2x4 is now unemployed and sitting in my garage.  Perhaps I should give it a career again and build something useful with it.  Or maybe I will keep it in its happy and dry retirement.  The 2x4 deserves a break after the hard work it did for the fence for a few weeks.  Although it is a shame we never got to share a backyard, it may have been nice.  We could have had bonfires, drank wine and stargazed under a tartan blanket.  

George

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George,

I am a bit taken back by your suggestion.   I am sure you would rather have bonfires, wine, and stargaze with your wife.  

Sara

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Sara,

I apologize.  I didn’t mean to come off so strong.  I am a bit out of practice.  Unfortunately, my wife died two years ago from breast cancer.  Life became an uphill battle when she was here and now that she is gone, that hill has become even steeper.  I have become quite lonely since then.  Perhaps, that is why I keep writing to you emails.  Even though Mick mended the fence between our homes, I look forward to your emails.  They break up my day with something to look forward to.

George

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George,

I am sorry to hear about your wife.  That is awful.  I guess, in a way, I got away with my heart being broken in a much easier manner.  My husband fell in love with his boss and left me with no notice.  This was over twenty years ago, but I still can’t seem to get over the pain of not being wanted.  I, like you, have found that I have grown lonely too.  Perhaps after this amount of time I have become numb to it.  But I find myself looking forward to your emails and a way of companionship.  Perhaps we should keep the correspondence going.  Or even better, I could meet you at the fence for a glass of wine one night and some star gazing.  I really wish we didn’t make the new fence so high.

Sara

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Sara,

It was so lovely for you to come knocking on my door last night with a nice bottle of Pinot from Willamette Valley.  I really enjoyed our conversation.  Even discussing how to remove the gophers from the area is a delight to discuss with you.  You have such a magnificent charm about you.  I really hope you can invite me over to taste your family recipe of lasagna some day.  As the recipe has been in your family for generations with secret ingredients, you won’t even tell me, someone who has never cooked a day in their life, I am sure the lasagna is a marvel.  Even more so, eating alongside the cook would be the real prize. 

George

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George,

Given that Wednesday is Valentine's day, would you do the pleasure of joining me in my home for some of that family famous lasagna?  Let’s say 6pm.  And bring that Cabernet from the vineyard up north that you buy by the case you were telling me about.

Sara

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S,

I’ll see you Wednesday at 6pm.

G