Mark Morano, Sort of Loser

“Fuck. I didn’t mean that. I mean, I meant it, but, I didn’t want to say… Oh shit. Sorry, this is coming out all wrong! I…”

Mark’s voice trailed off as the door slammed loudly and he was suddenly alone. Groaning, he rubbed his face in his hands. Damn it, damn it, damn it! So much for the high falutin’ restaurant celebration, huh. Speaking of, he’d better bloody phone and cancel that booking. There was no way he was paying through the nose for a fancy meal he wouldn’t even get to eat with Gabby. In fact, given how the last ten minutes had gone, he might not get to eat a cheap meal with Gabby again either.

He picked up the receiver and dialled, the phone was answered swiftly and a polished voice came floating down the line.

“Welcome to Luigi’s, this is Abigail. How might I be of assistance?”

“Uh, yeah, hi there. Um, this is Mark Morano. I had a booking for two, at 8pm, for the degust… ah, the disgust… oh god, the meal with all the little courses!” Mark’s face turned a deep, tomato red, as he looked down and shuffled his feet.

“Of course sir. Yes, I have you down right here, Mr Morano. I am sorry you won’t be joining us tonight. Perhaps you would like to re book for another evening?”

Mark swallowed, he didn’t even know if Gabby would talk to him again, let alone sit across the table for hours as they ate together. Sharing food was a very intimate thing and he didn’t think Gabby wanted to do anything intimate with him just now.

“Ah, look, I don’t think so. Not at the moment anyway. I’ll, ah, call back if things change.” He finished lamely.

“Of course Mr Morano. Good evening sir.” And he was left with the dial tone buzzing gently in his ear.

Replacing the receiver in its cradle, he looked around the room, taking in the fingermarks and smears on the walls, the tattered rug, the couch that had seen better days. Geez, he was lucky Gabby had stuck with him for so long. I mean, three months, that was good. Wasn’t it? He scratched his head. He’d thought they were doing pretty well, you know. They’d met when Gabby served him coffee in the diner across from the building site he currently worked at. He’d been instantly attracted to her laughing eyes and had blurted out the request before he could stop himself.

Wanna come with me for a drink and a plate of fries at Charlie’s Shack when you knock off?

He’d held his breath as she cocked her head to one side, considering. She’d studied him for a moment, her eyes taking in the three day growth that sprouted across his face, the dirt that never totally left his fingernails and his work stained clothing. He’d actually gasped out loud when she’d finally given him a slight nod. Not entirely because she’d agreed, more because he’d needed the air in his lungs.

She’d stuck her hand out, fingers covered in rings, the kind you might find in a variety store, “I’m Gabby. And you are?”

“Mark. Mark Morano.” He’d replied, his big hand with its ingrained layer of construction dirt completely covering hers. “Meet you there at 6pm?”

And that was how it started. They had in fact, shared two plates of chips and quite a lot of drinks, before Gabby had grabbed his stubble covered face in her hands and kissed him. Right on the lips. She’d left a smear of frosted pink lipstick on his top lip. Pink Passion, she’d announced, stretching a hand across and wiping the smear off with her pointer finger. He’d gone a much deeper shade than that and Gabby had laughed.

“Sure, you’ve been kissed before haven’t ya, Mark Morano?”

He’d nodded yes, but he wasn’t completely sure that a peck on the cheek in grade 5 from Sally Hockingworth and air kisses from his multitude of female cousins at Morano family gatherings really counted.  So he wasn’t entirely prepared for it when Gabby had perched herself in his lap and proceeded to kiss him so thoroughly he was a little worried that Charlie might kick them out for public canoodling in his diner. To his surprise though, Charlie had simply clapped him on the back as he walked by to deliver an order to another table. 

It hadn’t taken Mark too long to get the hang of this kissing thing though. He supposed it helped to learn a new thing if you enjoyed doing it. And Gabby seemed to know what she was doing, so he guessed having a good teacher was also a plus. They had fallen into a routine of meeting a few days a week after work. Grabbing a plate of chips at Charlie’s or walking along the pier if they didn’t have enough money. There always seemed to be plenty of time for cuddling and kissing, with Mark’s big coat protecting them against the biting winds along the pier.

About a month after things had begun and Mark was feeling pretty comfortable with what he thought was having a proper girlfriend in Gabby, she’d pouted at him across the table one evening.

“Ya know Mark, we’ve been dating for weeks now and you’ve never invited me back to your place. Am I too embarrassing to be a proper girlfriend?”

Blindsided, Mark had once again flushed a deep red, Gabby seemed quite adept at causing his face to change colour. 

“Ah, um, no, no. Of course not. You’re a great girlfriend. I mean, you’re great Gabby.  I just, I ah… My place isn’t very nice is all.”  He’d looked down in shame at the worn formica table top. He’d blew it, hadn’t he.

Then he’d felt Gabby’s small hand resting on his own, the metal of her many rings cool against his flesh.

“I don’t care Mark Morano. Take me home, please?”

It was the whispered please that had undone him. He’d looked up at that and seen the deep shadows in her eyes, the fear of rejection, the anticipation of shame. That was something he did understand. He had plenty of untold secrets wrapped up inside him too. He’d simply stood then and held out his hand. It didn’t seem to be a time for words.

Unlocking the apartment door, he’d paused and turned to her. Wanting to warn her somehow, or extend the moment before she saw how forlorn his apartment really was. But she’d slipped past him and was inside before he could open his mouth. He stepped inside, a half formed apology on his lips, then Gabby had grabbed him and kissed him silly. He’d forgotten all about the apology, the state of the apartment. He just knew Gabby and he dove in deep.

Later, after Gabby had skillfully managed his fumbling attempts at making love, turning what could have been a terribly embarrassing moment into one of laughter and lust, he just stared at her. How had he, Mark Morano, kind of loser and with no real life achievements to his name, managed to end up in bed with a woman like Gabby.  

“Whatchya starin’ at Mr Mark Morano?”

“You!” he’d blurted out, stating the bloody obvious.

“Well, we’d better have a staring contest then. Betcha I can out stare you!” and Gabby had proceeded to give him such a penetrating look that he’d blinked and dropped his gaze to the floor. “Ha, ha, told ya! I was the staring contest champion in the 7th grade!”

After that first night, he’d felt like a new man. A real man. A sharp man. The kind of man that attracted a woman like Gabby. He needed to clean up his act. Get a better job. Find a new apartment. Maybe buy some proper furniture. Whatever that meant. Somehow though, between his early starts on the construction site and his night time adventures with Gabby, he never found the time. 

And then she’d come bursting in here this morning, talking fast and snapping her gum even faster. What was it she’d said? Something about gum…

“Look here Mr Mark Morano. See this gum? Watch me blow this bubble. See how big it gets. You just watch. Watch it stretch and get rounder and rounder, bigger and bigger….” She’d blown a huge bubble then and after the almost translucent pink skin had popped and stretched across her lips she continued, “And then it pops right? Just like I’m gonna pop! Ya gonna see me stretching and stretching, getting rounder and rounder and then I’m gonna pop and there’ll be a big old mess everywhere and we’ll never be able to clean it up.”

He must have given her the stupidest look of his life, because she’d stared at him for a moment, waiting for some kind of response. When nothing had been forthcoming, she’d shaken her head.

“I’m pregnant! You’ve gone and turned me into a bubblegum bubble!”

At which point he’d uttered probably the stupidest words of his life, which at least went with the stupidest look he supposed.

“What? But, um, how?”

At which point, Gabby Antonelli, best girlfriend he’d ever had, well, in fact, only girlfriend he’d ever had, burst into tears and stormed out. Slamming the door behind her.

There would be no high falutin’ fancy dinner for them tonight. No cheap bottle of champagne at the pier afterwards. No need for the slim golden ring with the small diamond in it. The hock shop guy had assured him it was real, tiny, but real. And Mark thought maybe he was telling the truth. When he held the ring up to the light and squinted a little bit, there did seem to be a small sparkle.

He reached for his coat. It was cold out. And if he didn’t find Gabby soon there would be no chance for him to ever hear a little voice saying Daddy either.