Weird

Wow.   This is an interesting AANR event, almost surreal.   Wait, maybe the reader doesn’t know what AANR is.   It’s the American Association of Nude Recreation.   But, this AANR is different, weird different.  The rules are gone.   Nobody’s using towels.   And there’s an unspoken rule that people shouldn’t touch each other unless they’re related.  But, people are touching, like crazy.   It’s also unusual to have alcohol at these events and AANR sells food and soft drinks to make money.   I look around.   Unusual AANR things.   Like the windows don’t have newspaper on them, so everyone can see us naked.  We don’t care, but outsiders do.   This is only the start of weird though. 

      I take my clothes off by the lockers.  No one cares if people use the men’s bathroom or women’s bathroom.   We’re all going to see each other naked anyway.   But, I, after undressing, put the lock on my locker and jump in the pool.  But it smells weird.   Then, I get some of it in my mouth while swimming and it tastes like moonshine.   I get out after feeling dizzy and go in the hot tub, which is also made of moonshine.   Weird.   So, I get out of the tub and shake myself like a dog.  

     I look around the gym and different couples are making out and groping each other.   Men making out with men.   Women making out with men.   Women making out with women.   Then the fucking starts.  Everyone has a partner except me.   Then, this younger woman, probably in her twenties, comes in and takes her pants and underwear off.   She doesn’t look at me and it’s like I’m a peeping Tom.   She takes off her shoes and socks, her shorts and underwear, and her shirt and bra.   It’s beautiful.   Rather, she’s beautiful.   Then, she looks around and sees what I’m seeing.   I ask if she’d like to fuck me like everyone else is fucking each other.   She giggles but then says, yes.   I look around.   It seems surreal.   I ask her name.   She says, “Who was your high school sweetheart?”   It’s her name too.   Our tongues dance around each other as our lips embrace.   I pull her in.   I feel her soft breasts with my hands and it feels like raw dough for bread.   Her nipples are hard, though.   I move my mouth down and start sucking on her nipples.   They get harder.   Then, I keep going down and suck on her vagina.   It tastes sweet.   Weird.   Like the gummy bears I had as a kid.  

      Then, I put on a rubber and enter her.  She’s wet.   I start off slow and crescendo.   And starts moaning like in porn films.   Then, I hear a whistle.  Why is there a whistle?   Then someone laughs and yells “Switch!”   And she pulls herself out of me and starts making out with an old woman.   She looks happy.   Then, a young man comes and starts making out with me.   I’m straight so it doesn’t feel normal, but it feels better than my high school crush.  

     Then, the water in the pools start changing colors from clear to purple.   Someone at the AANR is Jesus Christ?   But it tastes like red vinegar.   Does that make someone Satan?   

       Then the walls start breathing.   Like they’re coming closer, then going farther.   I see the others orgasm and jump into the vortex in the pool and it swallows them and it looks like a tsunami toilet.  

    Then, chihuahuas start apporting through the ceiling.   Weird.   Maybe I’m high?   No, just go drug tested for gas job.  Things start spinning too like the walls are tops.   Tops are American word for a dreidel.  Then, my bellybutton exploded and my organs are all over the gym.   My lungs in the locker, my heart in the fruit basket.   Like I’m everywhere.  Then, the walls start speaking in Portuguese.  

       Then I hear in the PA system, “Attention.   This area has been quarantined for male amennoreah.   No one may enter or leave the premises.   That doesn’t even fucking make sense.   Men don’t get amennoreah.   Do they?

     “Houston, I think we have a problem.”   Then, I get vacuumed into the vortex, as does this woman I was fucking.   The other guy and I get sucked in too.   Then, we start metamorphosing into intersexual beings with ambiguous genitalia.   Weird.   And my cycle starts so I feel bloated and irritable.   Weird.   One breast is female, the other is male.   Then, I hear over the intercom at the pool a voice that sounds like my mother saying if I don’t eat my vegetables, my dick won’t fully develop.  Mom never said that.   That’s weird.  

     Then I saw my nuclear family apporting in, naked.   Why?   This isn’t even a seance room.   Weird.   Then, I start hearing songs, but not from the AV system, but from my head.   Things like Barney the Dinosaur’s I love you, NWA’s Don’t bite it while it’s in there and all kinds of crazy shit.  Maybe someone slipped me a Mickey when I wasn’t looking.  

     Then, I start hearing commercials, but old commercials, fake commercials, and illegal commercials.   “I feel stressed out after a long day’s work and when I get home I enjoy lighting a Marlboro cigarette.”   “Everybody has to eat and run, you’d rather take it slow, but the way this life is going you gotta grab your food and go, but when the food that you eat, catches up to you at last, get yourself some alka seltzer and you’ll feel better fast.”   Then, everything starts looking like a kaleidoscope and I hear cacophony.  

     Then, it’s like I’m in outer space and the stars look like sperm cells.  But they’re shooting stars.   And the Sun’s rotating around the Earth. Then, I see the other distorted planets and I see a pool pole like in billiards and the gods are about to fuck up the Milky Way.   Then, I hear, “The gods must be crazy,” and I see fire balls everywhere.    Then, it feels like an old school video game like “Deadliest Disks” or “PAC-Man” or something and I get this Sixth Sense like something inside of me is trying to eat me and I feel like I’m going to implode.   

     Then, I smell something and hear something.   It smells like fresh coffee and sounds like coffee beans being chopped.  But I recognize the kind of coffee.   It’s blueberry flavored coffee.   My favorite.   Then, I hear familiar voices.   They sound like my wife and children.   But, why would they be in the AANR vortex?   Weird.  Then, it feels like something’s shaking my body.   And I hear, “Wake up”.   I open my eyes.   All that was just a dream.   Weird.  Very, very, very weird.