34 comments
The Texture of Love
3:37 A.M.
ur sexy
11:57 A.M.
Reno. WTF?
3:22 P.M.
Wantd to cum ovr
4 sum lola luv
last nite
3:40 P.M.
Maybe 2nite.
Take me out?
3:41 P.M.
Be thr at 7
Me, slurping oysters. Reno staring. Imagines me doing this to him. A wink. Done deal. Saturday night. Reno happy. Reno satisfied. Leaves before noon. Oh Sundays. Terra cotta loneliness. Psyche, buttered and battered. Sweet, sweet Sheila. Saving me. Again.
1:15 P.M.
Lola dear. U
home?
1:16 P.M.
Sheila, my sweet!
Come over.
I need you.
Sheila. My adoration. My air. Love her, but not in love. Can’t. Won’t.
Past the age of innocence. A future too dim to contemplate. Present perfect.
The flames of passion, fed by moist thoughts and dry desperation.
Long, hot, comfortable sex. Splendor in the grass. Paradise illuminated among the bedroom candles. Ensconced in afterglow, tenderness, pillow talk, soft sighs and blessed sleep. The texture of love.
My mouth, buried in Sheila. Not my soul. Not my…me.
Sheila. My antidote to Sunday malaise. The cure for June-bug desolation. The salve and the salvation. Pillager and pillaged. Sweet honey perfuming acrid rye winds.
Symbiosis. My touch, a symbol of passion. Her kisses, a cymbal whispering in my ear.
Sheila and I, in the shower.
Cleanliness.
Godliness.
Washing away our sins, keeping the hellish hue of Sunday afternoon at bay.
Sheila. Just Sheila.
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/xxxxxxx
Karla Bonaventure
Need status reports ASAP. They should have been on my desk already!
Lola Ephron
On my way
Mark Ladd
You look like shit today girl.
Lola Ephron
Bite me, Mark.
Karla Bonaventure
And the quarterly projections by 3:00.
Lola Ephron
On it
Karla. Nemesis, not enemy. Different, right? Impossible requests. Lines to be toed. Fat ass to be kissed, reasonably well and reasonably often. Old-school boss. Modern bitch. Unsuitable bra, cheap shoes, garish lipstick. Her job? My job, soon. Karla, retiring to a life of daytime T.V. and take-out food. Karla. Can. Just. Fuck. Right. Off.
10:57 P.M.
Im in the nghbrhood
how bout sum
lola luv
10:59 P.M.
Not tonight, Reno. Heavy
week. I need my sleep.
11:00 P.M.
Cmon. Its ur
sexy reno
11:01 P.M.
Give Sheila
a booty call.
11:02 P.M.
k
How abt
tmrrw nite
11:04 P.M.
Maybe Tuesday
night.
11:05 P.M.
Im down for that
11:06 P.M.
I’ll want prime rib.
11:07 P.M.
Pik u up at 7
Haiku #77 – Reno’s Escape
Reno, man and boy,
Slinks home after screwing me.
The boy in him wins.
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?tab=rt&ogxx#inbox/xxxxxxx
Lola Ephron
Happy retirement, Karla! Eat lots of good food and travel to lots of places!
Karla Bonaventure
Thank you, Lola. Don’t forget status reports due today.
Lola Ephron
On it. Will be on your desk by 2:00.
Karla Bonaventure
Noon would be better.
Lola Ephron
I’ll do my best. Working on it now.
Sonnet #11 – Sheila, When She Tries
Pale white skin accentuates ruby lips,
Sunday afternoons spent biting through words,
Filled with intentional Freudian slips,
Sipping green fire, observing the herds.
In the silence, when we are at repose,
I gaze at her chest, at the fall and rise,
Our thoughts on each other, so I suppose.
Pure adoration, with no other guise.
A kiss comes my way, tenderly to cheek,
I send a caress, by way of my eyes.
She hands out her best smile, lovely and bleak,
She will never know me, yet still she tries.
I go to bed with mortality near,
Sheila has gone home; Sheila is still here.
3:05 P.M.
Bring some port,
my love. We’re out.
3:10 P.M.
Yes, my sweet.
Anything else?
3:11 P.M.
Just you.
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?tab=rt&ogxx#inbox/xxxxxxx
Lola Ephron
When will the quarterly projections be ready?
Harrison Lane
Noon. Maybe 11:00.
Lola Ephron
11:00 sounds good.
Harrison Lane
On it.
Lola Ephron
11:00. Firm.
Harrison Lane
Yes ma’am.
Mark Ladd
Do you have a minute?
Lola Ephron
Sure. Come on by
What’s up, Mark?
You.
Uh…
You’re becoming Karla.
What! Are you…
Yes. Stop it.
I can’t…
I’ve been your friend for almost fifteen years, Lola. I’m speaking from the heart.
No! I’m not Karla!
You are. Message sent. Good-bye.
Haiku #84 – Becoming Karla
I have looked inside;
I am too young to be old.
My heart rends itself.
Repentance. Cleanliness. Godliness.
Showers with Sheila.
Cleansing me of new sins. Scrubbing away old regrets. Painting my heart with indigo kisses.
Coffee with Mark.
Mark. Gay Mark. Sweet Mark. Unchanging. Impeccable. Paining my heart with ninety-proof words.
Becoming something horrid. A harridan. A hard-hearted harlot, hoarding heaps of husks, holding heartily to half-empty heavens, holding hollow, handsome, hoping hands, harsh hurt haunting heavens and havens.
Alliteration, at age thirty-eight.
Obliteration, in twenty-eight words.
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?tab=rt&ogxx#inbox/xxxxxxx
Lola Ephron
Please come by my office AYC. Thanks so much.
Harrison Lane
Of course. On my way, Ms. Ephron.
I apologize, Harrison.
Uh…
I’ve been a bitch. For no good reason.
Well, I…
Please accept my apologies. I’m actually better than what I have shown you.
Oh, well, …
I’ll try harder, ok?
So, …
Thanks, Harrison. I appreciate what you do.
Sonnet #28 – Sheila, When She Leaves
The absence of gravity seals my fate.
Loving someone without falling in love,
Recalls those days that dull and sedate;
There is nothing below, little above.
Sunday’s crucible revisits my soul,
Our once-gleaming words have turned into dust,
My red blood is blackened with daubs of kohl;
My dreams of what was have turned to blue rust.
I understand love’s soft flow and hard ebb,
The thrust and the skewer, neatly in hand.
Riposte and parry, caught up in its web,
Black and white stickiness with a gold band.
It is her life, to embrace or deny,
I shed some tears, but I swear I won’t cry.
Reno. Married. Two kids and a fat wife. Reno. Still a great body.
Sheila. Married. Two kids and a fat husband. Sheila. Still a great lover.
Hooking up with Reno. Sporadic.
Hooking up with Sheila. Sporadic.
The texture of love. Sporadic and continual. Whatever that means.
My heart. Stilled and distilled. Pure and antiseptic. Pomegranate eyes eloping with bell-jar tears. Perfection reached through a vacuum of cotton-candy dreams and hard-candy reality. The required density of soul. The feebleness of fables. A raconteur’s remorse. Mozart remembered. Mozart forgotten. Mozart and Pop-Tarts. Perfection.
Lola, with concubine eyes. Never a Lolita. Never Nabokov’s nod to nubile, nymphet naughtiness. Never. Wanted to be, though. Just once. Would have been enough.
Just once.
Mom,
It feels odd writing an actual letter. But good. The mind connects to the heart. The heart connects to the hand. The hand, to paper. It’s very tactile and satisfying. I suppose the old ways are sometimes the best ways.
I’m going to take a vacation. In Spain. I need time to clear my head and assess my priorities. Work is fine. Everything else is lacking. Your Lola is lacking.
I’ll be gone for two weeks, but you can text me if you need to. I’m going to do my best to disconnect from connections, if that makes any sense. Spend some time with myself instead of my life. Re-evaluate. Prioritize. Become my own personal guru.
Tell dad I love him and not to worry. Maybe I’ll come home with a Paco or a Conchita and live, as Disney wants me to, happily ever after. At the very least, I’ll come home with a tan and some kitschy souvenirs.
Love you, mom. See you when I get back.
Lola, Interrupted by Counting Crows
I may take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Drink my worries down the drain
And fly away to somewhere new
Hop on my Choo-Choo
I'll be your engine driver in a bunny suit
If you dress me up in pink and white
We may be just a little fuzzy 'bout it later tonight
Take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Drive this little girl insane
Fly away to someone new
Fly away to someone new
Fly away to someone new
“Holiday in Spain”
Counting Crows
(This is) THE END (for now)
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34 comments
Hey Delbert! What an interesting take on the prompt. I feel like writing is experiencing a shift as we integrate more of the internet because that’s real life, isn’t it? I loved the way you incorporated poetry into this piece as well. I confess, I’m not so great at the poetry thing. But I loved what you did with them in this piece. Nice work!
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Thanks so much, Amanda. It was difficult to write because I stubbornly clung to my idea of using multiple structures to tell a story. And I don't think I'm all that good at poetry either, Amanda; I just plowed through until I felt like I had something that didn't sound like a 14-year-old wrote. The multiple structures were a challenge because I wanted to get a real story to come through. I don't think this is one of my better works, but I sure did learn a lot about scene shifts and tone shifts. I agree that writing is experiencing a shift...
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This is so good, love the way you mixed up the different forms of writing, they all played so well off each other. The brief little text messages with the lovers contrasting with the poetic descriptions following was great. I actually read it twice and it was great the first time with how creative and unique it was and the 2nd time I understood more what was happening and enjoyed the story being told too. Great work!
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Wow, thanks so much for the kind words and the nice review, Kelsey. I really appreciate the time you took to read it twice and to offer your astute insights. Lola was written with Madame Bovary in mind. A restless soul, always wanting more than she has and doomed to failure. Hopefully, though, Lola can get herself some perspective and live a rich, fulfilling life. I always wish the best for such a character. Thanks again, Kelsey. I really do appreciate your review. Truly.
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Another tip top tier story. Wow, again. Once again, in awe of your writing, your form, your sheer artistic gumption. Not easy to write a story as risky as this one, not easy to put it out in the world. But you've done so, and have in my book reaped all the rewards of your risks. Really just a beautiful, heartbreaking story. Told in such an experimental, perfect (again) way. Profound, a label I can't often apply to short stories. Beautiful and profound. Thanks so much for writing two stories this week - they really have made my day.
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Thank you very much once more for such praise, Nathan. I'm so pleased that you liked my little tales. This one was gimmicky in structure, but I labored to make a substantial theme come through. Lola is a lot like Madame Bovary in character, always searching for something that is at once unattainable and untenable. She was doomed to failed relationships from the beginning. Her awakening finally came, and we are left with an unfinished story as she makes her way to Spain. We are given hope, though. Lola is giving herself a chance to become wh...
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Thank you very much once more for such praise, Nathan. I'm so pleased that you liked my little tales. This one was gimmicky in structure, but I labored to make a substantial theme come through. Lola is a lot like Madame Bovary in character, always searching for something that is at once unattainable and untenable. She was doomed to failed relationships from the beginning. Her awakening finally came, and we are left with an unfinished story as she makes her way to Spain. We are given hope, though. Lola is giving herself a chance to become wh...
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This is awe-inspiring, even if you don't know that you are constrained by the VERY difficult prompt. Poetry in every word. Phenomenal. Beautiful. Heartwrenching. If you don't win, I will eat my figurative hat. Maybe the literal one, too.
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Wow, thank you so much, Molly. I can't adequately express how much I appreciate your review of my story. You have made my month! It was a difficult write, but I enjoyed the challenge. My main goal was to get the inner Lola to come through, using several structures. I'm so pleased that you found it worthy of recognition. Again, thank you. I'm truly grateful.
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I love this! I really like how you approached the fragments prompt; it's like a collection of the media that makes up someone's life, whether it be their own creation or those of others, no matter how trivial or pivotal. Now I want to take a shot at writing in this sort of structure. Nice work!
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Thanks so much, Nico. I really appreciate the kind words and the nice review. I'm pleased that you see the story through the differing structures. Again, thank you. Truly.
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this is terrific! Whoever knew texting would be a literary phenomenon! (Next, we'll have to do a story using emojis! ) This was brilliant and really difficult! You aced it. I was reading at least 3 different story lines! Great job! And thank you for taking the time to read mine!
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Thanks so much for the kind words, LJ. I really appreciate this. It was a difficult write, but I enjoyed it. And, yes, an emoji story would be next, right? Happy to read your stuff, LJ. I enjoy your style.
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Wow! This is terrific take on the prompt and ticks all the boxes in its subset. Not only in structure and form, but in capturing different nuances of emotional intensity and/or a lack of it too. Great work, Delbert!
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Thanks so much, Suma. It warms my heart when a writer of your caliber likes what I write. I struggled with getting Lola to come through all of the different structures. She's a hot mess that I can't help but root for. Again, thank you. My improvement in writing is due to reading and learning from writers like you. Reedsy is wonderful for that alone. Cheers from Texas.
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The poetry alone is great, I particularly liked the text exchanges. This flowed well.
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Thanks so much, Marty. I truly appreciate that you appreciate the writing. Cheers, my friend.
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I read what Zack wrote below and I agree with every word, and it gave me a fuller understand just why I find this piece such a complete envelopment of how it feels, really feels, when you're trying to find yourself within a love relationship. Movies only (literally) scratch the surface, while you used every literary tool imaginable and covered all aspects of a subject that's tough/impossible to pin down. I dare say you understand everything and can make a great and meaningful work of art out of it. Beautifully done, Mr. Math!
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Mr. Math! LOL Lola is conflicted, and I tried to show that inner conflict as best I could, using different structures to touch on different aspects of her character. I really appreciate that Zack and you root for Lola. She is actually a slightly despicable character: she sleeps with two different people at the same time, and she continues to sleep with them after they each get married. She can't figure herself out, yet she can express her inner conflicts. I'm so happy that you like this tale, Susan. That warms my heart. Truly.
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The story marvelously fits that string of adjectives in the prompt. I'm happy Reno has moved on from illicit affairs with married Sheila to a vacation in Spain, or maybe that's the narrator. I def liked how the story swings between the gmails in that very emotionless tone everyone uses at work, and then swings back to romance and poetry that we all feel inside. Great work getting so many different style of prose together.
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Thanks so much, Scott. It was a difficult write because of your allusion to emotion and the lack thereof. Trying to write something of substance while employing different structures was challenging. I appreciate that you appreciate it, my friend. Thanks so much.
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Text messages, emails, handwritten correspondence, dialogue without quotation marks, haikus, sonnets, and even song lyrics. Holy moly! I love that you broke, quite literally, all the writing "rules," but you never sacrificed to meaning of the story to achieve that. It feels creative instead of gimmicky, heartfelt instead of pandering. I'm really awed at how many different ways you approached this narrative. Aside from the structure, I think the thing I loved most were the turns of phrase in here. Quite a few times I had to stop to write dow...
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I appreciate the generosity of praise you have for my story, Zack. Most of all, I appreciate the time you invested in your response, and the thoughtful, relevant comments made. You must have been very good in your former career. I have to admit that the idea for the structure of the story was gimmicky, but I was determined to write something of substance within that structure. Someone (I can't remember who, dammit) once said that creativity is born from restrictions. The more you restrict the structure or the medium, the better the opportun...
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Really enjoyed this unusual structure of the story. You never cease to surprise me! Thank you
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Thank you very much for the kind words, Ela. I'm always impressed by your stories as well. Cheers!
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Loving the use of fragments in this piece. Particularly like the poetic parts. You handled the prompt well. Through the different styles, you got across the loneliness and conflict of Lola’s life. Pleased to see a letter made its way in too. Welcome back.
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Thanks so much for the kind words, Helen. And a big thank you for welcoming me back. I appreciate that very much. Lola is indeed conflicted, and I'm glad that came through. I had to include a letter - it's certainly a lost art, writing a letter. Thanks again, Helen. Truly.
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What sadly happens to Lola in this string of frags is the picture of a conflicted woman. She beds Reno with slurping oysters and a wink, then Sheila texts her while Lola is alone and she repeats the same sex cycle with Sheila. She moves on in sex relationship with Sheila. But it is "only sex." Until Lola becomes the boss at work, Mark tells her she is just like the old boss, whom Lola despised. Everyone she knew casually for sex is married now so sex with them is random. She tells her kid to relay to Lola's husband that she has gone to...
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Lola is definitely conflicted. She doesn't believe in the permanence of love, so she misses out on real relationships. In the end, she looks for the "happily ever after" that she despised in her earlier years. The texture of love has changed for her. Thanks for reading my weird little tale. Writing fragmented stories is not my forte, but I got through it. Hopefully, it will make me a better writer. Thanks again, Lilly. Good to be back.
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It's late here; I will comment tomorrow. So happy to see you back. I missed you lots or is that tons (tonnes). Either way, you get my drift, right? :D LF6.
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Thanks so much, Lilly. That means a lot. :)
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All sorts of fragments here, vying for the attention of a troubled mind :) The key is: "You’re becoming Karla." This is what triggers Lola to introspect, and to take action to change. But it's also indicative of her not actually knowing herself, of living in denial. She never wanted to be like Karla, but unwittingly she became like her. She never wanted to piss her life away, but her views on life and love sabotaged her. We've got a good midlife crisis here, replete with taking a trip to find herself. She's hit a crisis point where her ...
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Thanks so much, Michal. I really appreciate the depth of your understanding here. The letter was important, don't you think? As you so astutely observed, the letter was the first tangible step on Lola's road to self-actualization. Nicely spotted. My biggest concern was whether or not Lola's crisis would come through with the multliple structures. I'm pleased that you saw it. Thanks again, Michal. I really appreciate your analysis of this tale. Truly.
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Thanks so much, Michal. I really appreciate the depth of your understanding here. The letter was important, don't you think? As you so astutely observed, the letter was the first tangible step on Lola's road to self-actualization. Nicely spotted. My biggest concern was whether or not Lola's crisis would come through with the multliple structures. I'm pleased that you saw it. Thanks again, Michal. I really appreciate your analysis of this tale. Truly.
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