Nanhi si Aasha (Little Hope)

She slept so peacefully, in the arms of the new father. Ajay, had been blessed by a daughter. After the first cries from having had to leave the comfort of her mother's loving shade, she now rested into the embrace of her father. Assured that the light she was now learning to perceive, in her father's embrace was equally as safe as the darkness of the womb that had provided for her from her coming into existence. As if on that note, Ajay thought that he could see a tiny smile curl up on the baby’s face! “This is what pure happiness feels like”, thought Ajay.

Light is , but blinding sometimes, and darkness is calming. Not all of us acknowledge that. When the sun is high up and full to his potential, many complain of the heat and as the night sets in, all the pain vanishes into the soothing dark. 

Ajay had never felt such ecstasy before. His profession had earned him the bliss to hold many newborns before, but this time was entirely different. He held her, the small one who would soon become his world. He held that someone whom he would shape someday to walk into his footsteps. Though reluctant to part with her, she had to be kept in the crib. Holding a baby for longer periods of time hinders their physical growth. While he thought about the various ways he should take care of his little one, he realised the most important task he had kept on hold, he had to thank and tend to the woman, the goddess who brought this tiny bundle of joy into their lives. He had been so excited when he found out about the pregnancy as if he were pregnant! Though when a couple conceives, it is both of them in the pregnancy. Today, his excitement had manifested! This was everything, Ajay had dreamed of.

As days passed, Ajay and Likhita got immensely engrossed in the marvels of the little one. They had learned when the baby needed to be fed, when she needed to burp and all the various meanings of her cries. All she could do was cry! And yet that was music to their ears. 

They had severely flooded their social media accounts with pictures of her charm. 2 months from the golden day, Aasha beamed with her first smile in sleep. As if it was destined to be preserved for forever, Ajay was attentively stationed with his phone. On one summer day, Likhita had her sister’s kids home. Kittu and Minty were famous for being the naughtiest kids around. Amazingly, even they got disciplined and patient with the baby and took turns to hold her. For when someone, so small so tiny, so pure and yet so fragile, how can you not be all that she needs you to be? It was the middle of November and winter was harsh. It had been 6 months from when Aasha had adorned their house. Likhita was busy preparing Aasha for this harsh weather. There was so much to take care of! Aasha needed to stay warm and heaven forbid but if she caught a cold, it would be an ordeal for the entire household. Along with mother's milk, Likhita had just begun introducing some solid and other liquid foods too to her. She had observed that Aasha was developing a taste for Chicken Soup, like her mumma. Proud Likhita was!

This is the thing with new parents, they are amazed with every little sign of semblance that their kids show. They marvel at the fact that they have replicated. And they tie all of their futures and hopes to whom they gave life! Likhita mused.

Likhita felt immense pain. A huge wave of realisation crossed her mind. She felt all the dried up blood all over but before she could even bring herself back to her senses completely, she felt another blow. This was life for Likhita and that was Ajay, of her dreams, but only of her dreams. 

When there's light, eyes are inquisitively active, keeping you aware of the happenings around you. You only trust what your eyes perceive. Little do we think then, that everything apparent is not always the truth. What seems to be can be far from what it is. When there's dark, eyes are blinded and sushed into silence. It is then we begin to touch, in an attempt to reckon what's around us. We begin to feel and thus the reality manifests into our minds. Our souls communicate with us and we can see all our eyes couldn't have fathomed. 

That is why I rank my intuitions above my eyes.

Likhita and Ajay had been married for a year now but the 'honeymoon period' had been too short lived. It had taken only 3 months for Ajay to showcase his 'manliness'. On the outside, Ajay was the man many, many women would desire. He was gentle and caring. He was everything you need to keep your partner happy, or so it seemed.

It never gave me chills when Ajay had first proposed to Likhita. Unlike everyone else who rejoiced, I felt fear.

I could read so accurately, what no one else did. Our faces are mirrors of our hearts anyway. Who we are, our faces reflect.

 Now, amidst the dried up pool of her survived miscarriage, she found respite in the darkness of her dreams. With every blow, she allowed herself the luxury to be swept into her land of dreams. There, no one would disturb her. She would reunite with her Aasha. She would cherish her. She would appologise to her, for she had failed her.

Sex-determination was illegal before birth, but who would doubt the revered doctor? Returning from the ultrasound, Ajay had made it clear that it was not in the tradition of 'strong men' to birth 'feeble feminine'. Back home, he made his words clearer and actions bolder. It was painful light whenever she was plunged back into her reality.