A Shadow of What Once Was

She wore the brightest smile on her face as she looked out to the view below us.

"It's beautiful..." She whispered.

The sound of her soothing voice alone made me smile. It felt like I hadn't seen her for years. It felt good to have her at my side once again, even though it was only yesterday when she had taken me out for dinner at that old Greek place by the family owned woodworking shop and the grocery store.

I had never felt right when she wasn't by my side though. I felt incomplete. Like she carried half of me with her.

"I know..." I replied.

Rolling hills went as far as the eye could see, only being disturbed by the random trees that dotted the pristine landscape.

"I can't believe it's ours now..." She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

I wrapped an arm around her, "Well I can rest assured you that it is... All of our work has finally paid off."

Her smile suddenly vanished, "What will my dad say?"

I looked over at her for a moment. Her dad was one of our biggest obstacles to our happiness. He never liked me, no matter how kind I was to him and the rest of her family. He just held a grudge against me and I don't even know why.

"He won't like it..." I whispered, "He won't like it one bit. But what's he gonna do about it?"

"Take me away from you." She replied.

"He's already tried that." I pointed out.

"And he's nearly succeeded twice." She said grimly, "Maybe we aren't meant to be..."

"Don't say that love..." I whispered, lightly rubbing her back, "We have pretty much everything we need here... And you're father doesn't know... If we needed to we could run off and live here together without him even knowing."

"Yeah... And wait to see how long it is till the cops are after us." She scoffed.

I looked out at the land, it was what we had always dreamed of, land as far as the eye could see. No buildings other than the small cabin. No people. Just me and Rosa, the love of my life.

It pained me to know that all the work we've done could all be for nothing. As long as her father hates me, we cannot do much. Yes, we could date, and we could even get married if we wanted, but it isn't right... Neither of us could live with the guilt of breaking the old tradition of our families. And as long as Oliver refuses to give us his blessing, we would be breaking it.

And even if we hadn’t cared, Oliver would still call the cops on me. He’d find anything to get me in trouble for falling in love with his daughter.

We’ll cross that road when we get there I guess…

“If he sends the cops, I’ll deal with them.” I said after a minute, hoping that I sounded more confident than I felt.

She hugged me, "I don't want you to get hurt sweetie."

"I won't." I whispered, kissing her head. She gave me an unconvinced look and held me a little tighter.

"Look darlin..." I said after a while, trying to break the tense silence. I pointed over the rolling hill to two white shapes dancing in the sky, "Doves... See? Even the world says we are meant to be."

"Maybe..." She looked out and watched the doves for a moment, before taking my hand and dragging me down the hill.

I smiled as we picked up speed, the world around us blurred together as we ran. And for the first time, I felt at peace with the world. Like everything suddenly made sense.

It felt as if all my doubts have been washed away. It reminded me a bit of the feeling of when someone notices something you've tried to hold in and gives you a hug without explaining. A sudden weight just came off of my shoulders at that moment and I just felt alive.

Together, we danced under the smiling sun, the breeze blowing against our face. It felt like the world was at our command. A joy spread through my mind and body like no other I've experienced. My heart and mind were at peace for once in my life. I felt no pain, both physical and mental. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop smiling that big, happy, goofy looking smile. One that she shared on her own face.

Is this what heaven feels like? I wondered, because life is perfect....

***

I woke up with the biggest smile on my face.

But then reality sunk in.

My smile quickly fell from my face and was replaced by tears. I weakly pushed myself out of bed, coldness sweeping away any of the warmth and joy that had stayed with me from my dream.

I had never felt the same since Rosa left. My life had a gaping whole in it that could never be filled again. Maybe one day I'll get my life back together, but for now, I just wanted to survive another day.

After I finished showering, I went to turn off my music. But I paused when saw that I had over a hundred unread text messages on my phone. I opened them and found that Oliver had texted me over and over again since midnight. All pretty much summarizing to one phrase; I miss her.

Me and Oliver had grown close after she left us. The pain of knowing neither of us would see her face again, forged a small bond between us, and suddenly our differences were set aside. We became almost like brothers in a way. Both sharing each other's grief.

I had that dream again... I told him.

It only took a couple seconds for him to reply. Just by that I knew he wasn't going to work again today again.

Anything different?

No...

Do you know what we did wrong?

No... I don't. Though I wish I could've protected her...

We both do.

I closed my eyes for a moment, then shakily wrote;

Would you want to come visit her grave with me?

I don't know if I could stand the guilt... Was his simple reply.

I understood his reasoning. One hundred percent. I called up my work and told them I wouldn't be in, again. Then I turned off my phone and headed outside, silently wishing that I could've just lived in my dreams instead.