Contest #271 winner 🏆

163 comments

Drama Sad Fiction

The elderly lady shuffled the few remaining steps to the park bench and sat down, happy to catch her breath and rest for a moment. The autumn sunshine was warm, but the nip in the air made her glad of her warm coat. She placed her handbag neatly on her knee.

“Good morning,” said the silver-haired gentleman at the other end of the bench. “Beautiful day.”

Elsie smiled. “Yes, it is. Cold, but lovely.”

The man folded his newspaper and returned the smile. “I’m George.”

“Hello, George. I’m Elsie.” She re-arranged her scarf, her gnarled fingers struggling in the cold.

They sat for a few moments quietly, looking over the city. “I’ve always loved this view.” 

“Pardon?”

“The view,” George repeated. “I’ve been coming here since I was a boy. I used to watch the trains.”

Elsie looked to where George was pointing, down the hill towards the city. 

“I liked the steam trains. Do you see?” He added. 

“Yes, I can see. No more steam trains now, though, I’m afraid. It was different, then.”

George nodded. “It was. I’d travel the country. My folks had no idea where I was half the time. It wasn’t like it is today.” He paused. “Do you have children?”

“Yes, two. And grandchildren, now.”

“Then you’re blessed. What are their names?” George turned to look at Elsie, noticing her careworn face, the long, white plait that rested over her shoulder.

“Timothy, is the eldest. He has two little ones of his own now.” Elsie said, proudly. “Well, not so little now. They’ve grown and gone, too. I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like.”

“I’ve always liked the name Timothy.”

Elsie smiled. “And then there’s Ellen. She got married, finally, last year. She’s nearly sixty! She finally took the plunge.”

“Well that’s lovely!”

“It is. It was. She looked beautiful.”

George sat back. “I always wanted children.”

Another few moments passed by, quietly. 

Elsie looked over. “You can read your newspaper, George. I don’t mind.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I don’t often get chance to chat. Especially with a beautiful woman.” He said, with a wink. 

Elsie chuckled. “Charmer. I bet you broke some hearts.”

“I don’t know about that!”

“Did you grow up around here, then?”

“Yes,” replied George. “Not far. And I went to school here, too. Calder… Calder something.” He shook his head. “I forget.”

“Age does that to us, doesn’t it?” Elsie asked, softly.

George shrugged. “I guess it does.”

She sighed. “It takes away the most precious things. Our bodies, our minds, our memories.” 

They fell into quiet again, both looking at the city sprawled out before them, lost in their own thoughts.

“May I ask you something, George?” 

He turned to look at her again. “Of course!”

“Have you ever married?”

George shook his head. “No, I never married. There was a girl I knew… once. I forget her name. Have you?”

“Yes. I was lucky enough to marry my best friend. The love of my life.”

“Well that’s wonderful!”

“Yes. It was wonderful. I’ve… lost him now. And it’s lonely. Terribly, terribly lonely.” Elsie looked down at her lap.

George reached over and took her hand, tenderly. “I’m very sorry for your loss. How long ago?” 

“Around five years ago. Nothing has been the same since.” Tears filled her once, bright blue eyes. They were cloudy now; age and sorrow had faded their beauty. 

George frowned. “That’s such a shame. Do you have anyone close?”

Elsie shook her head. “They have their own lives. Timothy is in Chester, Ellen in Manchester. And I feel like all I do is cross names out of my address book.” She paused. “All of my friends… They’re all gone.” 

George reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and offered it to her. “There, now. It’s okay.”

Elsie managed a small smile. “Thank you.” She wiped her eyes. “It’s silly. You must think I’m an old fool, sitting on a bench, crying.”

“Not at all.”

“Well I feel like an old fool. I should be glad of what I have. I’m still here, my children are happy and healthy. You were right, I have been blessed.”

George looked puzzled. “What?”

“A minute ago, you said I was blessed. For having my children.”

“Oh, that’s right.” He shook his head. “I’m more forgetful, the older I get.”

Elsie tried to pass the handkerchief back but George refused. “Keep it, I have plenty.”

“Okay, I will. Thank you.” She opened her handbag and tucked the handkerchief inside. She snapped it shut again. “It’s a funny old life, George, don’t you think?”

He tilted his head, not understanding. “In what way?”

“I just… can’t believe I’m here. At the end of my life. And what do I really have to show for it?”

George didn’t reply. 

“I don’t feel any different than I did ten years ago. Twenty years ago, even. And now when I look in the mirror, an old woman looks back.” She sighed. “It all feels so… pointless.”

George cleared his throat. “I don’t know how to help you with that one, I’m afraid,” he said, a little uncomfortably.

“I know, George. I don’t expect answers. I just wanted to say it out loud.”

Quiet fell again. 

“I used to take the trains, you know. All around the country.”

“Yes. You said.”

George laughed. “I did?” 

Elsie smiled, indulgently. “Yes. And your parents didn’t know.”

“Not a clue. Not like today.”

“No, George. It isn’t like today at all.”

George turned to look at her. “Do you know, you seem really familiar. Have we met before?”

Elsie sighed. “Yes. We have met.”

George frowned. 

“And it’s time we went home. This cold is getting right to my bones.”

George continued to frown. 

“Come on. I’ve got a casserole in the oven. And then it’s time for the racing. You like the racing.” She stood, stiffly, then held her hand out. She smiled, encouragingly. “Come on, George. Home time.”

George stood, still frowning. “Home?”

“Yes, sweetheart. Home. And we can ring Tim later and see him on the screen. Remember?”

George nodded slightly and stood. 

“Don’t forget your paper.”

The elderly couple walked away from the park bench where they had sat every Sunday morning for the past fifty years, hand in hand, back to the house where they had raised their children. Empty now, thought Elsie as she lead her husband back through the park. Entirely empty.

October 06, 2024 12:36

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

163 comments

Garrett Rice
23:59 Oct 20, 2024

The end paragraph hit me like a ton of bricks. Devastating, and beautiful. Well done!

Reply

Kate Simkins
07:52 Oct 21, 2024

Thank you very much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Heidi Fedore
22:47 Oct 20, 2024

Great job with giving us hints but leaving the reveal till the end.

Reply

Kate Simkins
07:51 Oct 21, 2024

Thank you 😊

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
20:01 Oct 20, 2024

Smooth reading, comfortable pacing, realistic dialogue and characters, good ending. I enjoyed reading your story, Kate. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

Reply

Kate Simkins
20:05 Oct 20, 2024

Thankyou! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 😌

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Michael Nohe
19:39 Oct 20, 2024

Very well crafted. Emotional, not maudlin. Congrats.

Reply

Kate Simkins
19:48 Oct 20, 2024

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it!

Reply

Michael Nohe
14:10 Oct 21, 2024

I've been reading stories here from time to time, and I believe this was the best-crafted and most meaningful piece I have seen. I'm looking forward to your future work.

Reply

Kate Simkins
15:01 Oct 21, 2024

🙏

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
19:20 Oct 20, 2024

I love this story. Well done, Kate. Great writing. 🧡

Reply

Kate Simkins
19:30 Oct 20, 2024

Thank you 😊

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Jennifer Spagnol
05:03 Oct 20, 2024

Beautiful. Just beautiful

Reply

Kate Simkins
07:47 Oct 20, 2024

Thank you ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Jeanette Harris
01:15 Oct 20, 2024

I like how it started Georgia is reading newspaper and Elise and start talking about their families good job

Reply

Kate Simkins
07:47 Oct 20, 2024

Thankyou! I appreciate the comment ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Charis Keith
21:23 Oct 19, 2024

was not expecting that. congratulations on the win!

Reply

Kate Simkins
07:44 Oct 20, 2024

Thank you very much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Corey Melin
19:28 Oct 19, 2024

Very well done and quite touching. Especially when it’s close to home. It’s a life changing event. Smooth style writing. Congrats on the win

Reply

Kate Simkins
19:30 Oct 19, 2024

Thanks! Winning was unexpected but delightful. Thanks for the comment ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Kendall Defoe
19:16 Oct 19, 2024

Incredible!

Reply

Kate Simkins
19:21 Oct 19, 2024

Thank you! It’s appreciated ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Glenn Sutton
14:50 Oct 19, 2024

wow amazing had tears in my eyes as it is so true to life

Reply

Kate Simkins
14:53 Oct 19, 2024

Thank you. I appreciate you reading and commenting. It’s partly true - my father has dementia so there is quite a bit of truth within the story.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Emma Cossette
14:34 Oct 19, 2024

Very moving. I really enjoyed this one :)

Reply

Kate Simkins
14:44 Oct 19, 2024

Thank you! ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
14:04 Oct 19, 2024

Brilliant writing! Congratulations!!

Reply

Kate Simkins
14:18 Oct 19, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to comment ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
08:19 Oct 19, 2024

Beautiful and poignant writing. I absolutely love this and am so glad that it has won. 🩵 The school name Calder something made me wonder if we're in the same part of the world!

Reply

Kate Simkins
13:19 Oct 19, 2024

I am based near Preston, but grew up in Rochdale. For some reason, in my head, this story was set in Sheffield! Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Rebecca Martinez
06:10 Oct 19, 2024

This was so beautiful, I loved it.

Reply

Rebecca Martinez
06:11 Oct 19, 2024

The nostalgia that this transmitted was so heartbreaking but in the best way possible.

Reply

Kate Simkins
13:21 Oct 19, 2024

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I really appreciate it. And I’m so glad you liked it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Victoria West
01:46 Oct 19, 2024

Yay, this story was so good. I managed to read if before it won, and I remember thinking the detail was outstanding. Congrats on winning.

Reply

Kate Simkins
13:21 Oct 19, 2024

Thanks again! It was an unexpected but delightful win!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Rubekkah Estero
01:35 Oct 19, 2024

Love it. Beautifully done :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Kaoli Chona
01:27 Oct 19, 2024

This is truly the best story I have ever. I could understand it so well, the story flowed. A well deserved win

Reply

Kate Simkins
13:34 Oct 19, 2024

Thank you so much! I’m really glad you liked it ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Clamos Pro
00:24 Oct 19, 2024

this is short story but its touch my heart.

Reply

Kate Simkins
13:35 Oct 19, 2024

Thank you. I’m so glad you liked it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Adam Sifre
00:17 Oct 19, 2024

I wrote a similar story for this contest. I enjoyed your take and storytelling. Well done.

Reply

Kate Simkins
13:36 Oct 19, 2024

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the storytelling ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.