Contest #271 winner 🏆

182 comments

Drama Sad Fiction

The elderly lady shuffled the few remaining steps to the park bench and sat down, happy to catch her breath and rest for a moment. The autumn sunshine was warm, but the nip in the air made her glad of her warm coat. She placed her handbag neatly on her knee.

“Good morning,” said the silver-haired gentleman at the other end of the bench. “Beautiful day.”

Elsie smiled. “Yes, it is. Cold, but lovely.”

The man folded his newspaper and returned the smile. “I’m George.”

“Hello, George. I’m Elsie.” She re-arranged her scarf, her gnarled fingers struggling in the cold.

They sat for a few moments quietly, looking over the city. “I’ve always loved this view.” 

“Pardon?”

“The view,” George repeated. “I’ve been coming here since I was a boy. I used to watch the trains.”

Elsie looked to where George was pointing, down the hill towards the city. 

“I liked the steam trains. Do you see?” He added. 

“Yes, I can see. No more steam trains now, though, I’m afraid. It was different, then.”

George nodded. “It was. I’d travel the country. My folks had no idea where I was half the time. It wasn’t like it is today.” He paused. “Do you have children?”

“Yes, two. And grandchildren, now.”

“Then you’re blessed. What are their names?” George turned to look at Elsie, noticing her careworn face, the long, white plait that rested over her shoulder.

“Timothy, is the eldest. He has two little ones of his own now.” Elsie said, proudly. “Well, not so little now. They’ve grown and gone, too. I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like.”

“I’ve always liked the name Timothy.”

Elsie smiled. “And then there’s Ellen. She got married, finally, last year. She’s nearly sixty! She finally took the plunge.”

“Well that’s lovely!”

“It is. It was. She looked beautiful.”

George sat back. “I always wanted children.”

Another few moments passed by, quietly. 

Elsie looked over. “You can read your newspaper, George. I don’t mind.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I don’t often get chance to chat. Especially with a beautiful woman.” He said, with a wink. 

Elsie chuckled. “Charmer. I bet you broke some hearts.”

“I don’t know about that!”

“Did you grow up around here, then?”

“Yes,” replied George. “Not far. And I went to school here, too. Calder… Calder something.” He shook his head. “I forget.”

“Age does that to us, doesn’t it?” Elsie asked, softly.

George shrugged. “I guess it does.”

She sighed. “It takes away the most precious things. Our bodies, our minds, our memories.” 

They fell into quiet again, both looking at the city sprawled out before them, lost in their own thoughts.

“May I ask you something, George?” 

He turned to look at her again. “Of course!”

“Have you ever married?”

George shook his head. “No, I never married. There was a girl I knew… once. I forget her name. Have you?”

“Yes. I was lucky enough to marry my best friend. The love of my life.”

“Well that’s wonderful!”

“Yes. It was wonderful. I’ve… lost him now. And it’s lonely. Terribly, terribly lonely.” Elsie looked down at her lap.

George reached over and took her hand, tenderly. “I’m very sorry for your loss. How long ago?” 

“Around five years ago. Nothing has been the same since.” Tears filled her once, bright blue eyes. They were cloudy now; age and sorrow had faded their beauty. 

George frowned. “That’s such a shame. Do you have anyone close?”

Elsie shook her head. “They have their own lives. Timothy is in Chester, Ellen in Manchester. And I feel like all I do is cross names out of my address book.” She paused. “All of my friends… They’re all gone.” 

George reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and offered it to her. “There, now. It’s okay.”

Elsie managed a small smile. “Thank you.” She wiped her eyes. “It’s silly. You must think I’m an old fool, sitting on a bench, crying.”

“Not at all.”

“Well I feel like an old fool. I should be glad of what I have. I’m still here, my children are happy and healthy. You were right, I have been blessed.”

George looked puzzled. “What?”

“A minute ago, you said I was blessed. For having my children.”

“Oh, that’s right.” He shook his head. “I’m more forgetful, the older I get.”

Elsie tried to pass the handkerchief back but George refused. “Keep it, I have plenty.”

“Okay, I will. Thank you.” She opened her handbag and tucked the handkerchief inside. She snapped it shut again. “It’s a funny old life, George, don’t you think?”

He tilted his head, not understanding. “In what way?”

“I just… can’t believe I’m here. At the end of my life. And what do I really have to show for it?”

George didn’t reply. 

“I don’t feel any different than I did ten years ago. Twenty years ago, even. And now when I look in the mirror, an old woman looks back.” She sighed. “It all feels so… pointless.”

George cleared his throat. “I don’t know how to help you with that one, I’m afraid,” he said, a little uncomfortably.

“I know, George. I don’t expect answers. I just wanted to say it out loud.”

Quiet fell again. 

“I used to take the trains, you know. All around the country.”

“Yes. You said.”

George laughed. “I did?” 

Elsie smiled, indulgently. “Yes. And your parents didn’t know.”

“Not a clue. Not like today.”

“No, George. It isn’t like today at all.”

George turned to look at her. “Do you know, you seem really familiar. Have we met before?”

Elsie sighed. “Yes. We have met.”

George frowned. 

“And it’s time we went home. This cold is getting right to my bones.”

George continued to frown. 

“Come on. I’ve got a casserole in the oven. And then it’s time for the racing. You like the racing.” She stood, stiffly, then held her hand out. She smiled, encouragingly. “Come on, George. Home time.”

George stood, still frowning. “Home?”

“Yes, sweetheart. Home. And we can ring Tim later and see him on the screen. Remember?”

George nodded slightly and stood. 

“Don’t forget your paper.”

The elderly couple walked away from the park bench where they had sat every Sunday morning for the past fifty years, hand in hand, back to the house where they had raised their children. Empty now, thought Elsie as she lead her husband back through the park. Entirely empty.

October 06, 2024 12:36

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

182 comments

Mallory Jones
23:26 Nov 03, 2024

Beautiful. ❤️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Willie Tee
12:42 Nov 02, 2024

Loved it.

Reply

Kate Simkins
13:44 Nov 02, 2024

Thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Elena Balaguer
12:27 Nov 01, 2024

It all felt so real and the conversations were so seamlessly put together. A pleasure to read!

Reply

Kate Simkins
17:12 Nov 01, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 😌

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Angela Ewing
13:15 Oct 30, 2024

Made me cry. So lovely, and I'm 86, so I know the feeling of getting old. Well done. Thank you.

Reply

Kate Simkins
13:41 Oct 30, 2024

I'm glad you liked it, but I'm sorry it made you cry! My father is 77 and has dementia so this story was special to write. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - I very much appreciate it.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
JoAnne Burgess
11:43 Oct 29, 2024

This was beautifully done. The way you touch your readers, by allowing us to feel like we are standing there looking in, is a great talent!

Reply

Kate Simkins
12:12 Oct 29, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment :-)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Donavyn Haley
04:36 Oct 29, 2024

I really enjoyed this read. It reminded me of the short film The Wait (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuRHHmXbzYs). I especially liked how natural the dialogue felt. Having it take place between an elderly couple added a level of relatability.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Cathy Ro
23:18 Oct 27, 2024

This was such a beautiful and touching story. I know it was also sad but the beauty of it and the fact that the love was still there even if the memory wasn't. The fact that they didn't 100% lose each other was so sweet and touching. Really loved this one.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Olive Silirus
16:57 Oct 26, 2024

This is the kind of short story we all hope to write someday. Splendid work.

Reply

Kate Simkins
17:06 Oct 26, 2024

That's a truly lovely thing to say! Thank you 😊

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Donna Fontenot
06:54 Oct 26, 2024

So well-written. You had my attention immediately. I could relate to that couple on so many levels. It is a well-deserved honor and you have my admiration.

Reply

Kate Simkins
07:40 Oct 26, 2024

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. It was a story close to my heart. 🙏

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
MJ Brewer
15:22 Oct 25, 2024

This story genuinely caused me sadness, which is rare. I actually cried. Fantastic job on getting such clear conversation out that flowed so well.

Reply

Kate Simkins
15:23 Oct 25, 2024

Thank you! Sorry for the tears though!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Luna Hart
22:58 Oct 24, 2024

And now I’m crying. Great work

Reply

Kate Simkins
08:41 Oct 25, 2024

Oh no!! Sorry!! Thanks for reading though ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Anu Sharma
22:46 Oct 24, 2024

Beautifully written, emotional short story with a touch of reality. Loved it! Congratulations Kate!

Reply

Kate Simkins
08:42 Oct 25, 2024

Thank you! It’s based on my parent’s story, so I appreciate you noticing the reality ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Lou Jayne
20:49 Oct 24, 2024

What a sweet story. The ending put a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Well done.

Reply

Kate Simkins
08:41 Oct 25, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 🙏

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Cathy Saali
16:38 Oct 24, 2024

a beautiful story!

Reply

Kate Simkins
16:41 Oct 24, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 🙏

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Justin McCulloh
14:13 Oct 24, 2024

I love the way you carried the story until the end, then you ended with a bang! bravo , very well done !

Reply

Kate Simkins
14:16 Oct 24, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 🙏

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Moty Golub
10:48 Oct 24, 2024

Touching, reminds me of my wife's father at this very moment. Thank you?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Moty Golub
10:48 Oct 24, 2024

Touching, reminds me of my wife's father at this very moment. Thank you?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Paul Simpkin
08:55 Oct 24, 2024

Loved your story. The dialogue is excellent. You make us care about the two characters.

Reply

Kate Simkins
08:57 Oct 24, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment ☺️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Kaoli Chona
23:23 Oct 23, 2024

This story I read and understood straight away and the story is close to my heart. I am also a caregiver for my 87 year old mother so I can relate. Further, I can never find the money and time to train but I love writing. Thank you for this story, it sort of inspired me to write again. You know I have written four or five stories then I just stopped because I thought I could never achieve a win because the style of writing seemed unattainable. Your story has woken my desire

Reply

Kate Simkins
08:43 Oct 24, 2024

Thanks for leaving such a detailed response. I’m so sorry to hear about your Mother, my father is in a similar situation. I’m really glad to hear you have started writing again. I have found that Reedsy is a really good place to practice and to receive feedback. I am a firm believer in practice… the more writing you do, the better you get!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
MJ Brewer
15:12 Oct 23, 2024

I can’t say I’ve ever read a story that caused me to feel lonely—until now. Having amnesia for 32 years, and slowly recuperating, the shock of my daughter joining the Marines finally cured me—just in time to be alone.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.