Snakes in the garden

Holding in the tears is hard when all you did was tell the truth. 

Snakes in the garden helps with the rodents, so sometimes it’s easier to tend to the garden if you don’t kill the garden snakes. This was something my mother always used to tell me daily. Showing up at the club feels weird sometimes with all the people who know me shaking hands, dapping people up, and more just to show me respect for the amount of time I have put in here. Sometimes it can be exhausting having to be this way , I hear all the conversations in my position and I finally understood what my mother meant by that saying. Popular people always talking about others they hate and then smile in their face, so I guess that should be none of my business, because I have a plan for myself and getting into the middle of this can mess up everything I have built. “WE WOULD LIKE TO INVITE THE BOSS TO THE STAGE!”. Well that’s my cue. Audience goes crazy and hangs onto the every word I say it feels as if I am on top of the world. “DId you see him totally riding the fame of his friends” 

“Man I heard he can’t be trusted because he rides for others”

“He does nothing, but cheating” 

These are some of the biggest conversations I hear once I leave the stage and it hard to not show out and tell their “friends what they truly feel about them”

“You’re not relevant because who you know” 

Smile through it. “Hey you did great tonight I really loved the songs!”

“You are a inspiration to me”

The words that reasure I am doing the right thing. 

“I am so glad that you are here and performing for us never change you are so raw with your current style”

Some people feel relevance is all good, but I feel that relevance is if people remember you and talk about you. Elevating the way we think is something that can make the process worthy of doing. 

“Hey you’re The boss right?” 

Yeah what’s up? Well, I am your biggest fan and I want to know can I buy you a drink and see what we can do to get to know each other. I knew this was a bad idea, but who can say no to a pretty face with a winning smile. “Yeah, sure”.  

“What’s your poison?” Tequilla sunrise. “That’s great let me go grab it” Wonderful this is what it feel likes to be a star I guess. “I am back here you go” Smile and takes a sip. We have a good time conversating and it feels like. Next day. I wake up and try to figure out where I am? What is going on? OH! I must of drank to much.

I should shower and get ready for the day. This is weird I haven’t gotten a notification yet. Where’s my phone? Here it is!! Wait! It’s dead lets charge it up. I will let that sit for a while usually when I turn it on I am blown up by people I have networked with.

What? No texts? No notifications? Well I am going to check to see if they post today maybe they are sick. BLOCKED BLOCKED BLOCKED! I have been blocked…. What did I do? Nothing! Nothing! Why?! Why am I blocked!?! Search bar let’s search my name up and see what we see.

1 video has you tagged in it.

Let’s watch it. “Yeah she does nothing, but calls everyone poor. It’s funny because the only reason she relevant is… nevermind it’s hard to take her serious when she lies to the world like she does one person in your face and another one behind closed doors you’re lucky you don’t know her she really isn’t someone you need to be around”

I guess this is going to be hard to come back from. Good thing I am already scheduled tonight, so I can go ahead and do my show, get paid, and find a new place to perform.

As I show up at the club it feels like people are purposely avoiding me. Why? Is this all from one video? Whatever, I will just go in. “Where do you think you are going”. OH, it’s my friend Ron the bouncer he must have wanted a hey. Hey Ron what’s up? “You are not allowed to go inside it is strict orders from the boss” What? I needed this money! This is infuriating! All over one mistake? Okay I guess I will have to just leave and try to find a new place to perform.

Let’s check the bar down the street “You are not allowed to come in”

What about the one across town “You are not allowed to come in”

What about the one in the town over “You are not allowed to come in”

What happened to me did I just get black listed from everything from one mistake? I was so popular, but is this the end of my odyssey as I was doing, so good for so long? 

Should I continue to try or do I just give up? I will continue to try. Hey do you know any bars looking for a live performer? No answer it’s like no one wants to talk to me over this moment. 

Energy is slowly depleting I should go back to my home and should just continue trying tomorrow. 

Wait! Even though I am not on the good side of the club no one was talking about me today! WHAT! Did the video make it where I have no name and no one even wants to say something good or bad to me it’s so weird that this is going down.

Let’s try again where should I try now? There should be some bars nearby. YES! There is the first one I performed at. “Who are you? You have never performed here”, but you was the bouncer here when I performed the first time!! “I don’t remember you”. This was the biggest stab to me and I don’t think I can take it anymore. I should just quit there is nothing I can do I can not proceed if I can not perform. All of this for someone who always talked down about the club owners, the artist, and the people around them. I give up and I accept I failed for now