The Interview

Ok, let’s look sharp here. I’m perched uncomfortably on a blue, plastic chair in a narrow corridor. I chose the middle one of three. Don’t want to be out on a limb. None of the executive chairs for today just an expanse of grey carpet tiles and health and safety warnings pinned across the walls. I distractedly read the notices. Nothing that I don’t know. My self-appraisal is printed and in a new file on my lap. I have a second copy for him, of course. Her appraisal of me was totally biased. She never did like me. How dare she give me one star! Ridiculous. My self-appraisal is much nearer the mark.

Get that mouth into a smile, corners uplifted, eyes wide and bright. Yeah, people, I’m fine. All good.

Except no one looks at me as they bustle past trying to look important with their stacks of paperwork. Not one of them. Even those I regularly exchange greetings with. We don’t normally get far beyond good morning but hey, they are my colleagues even though they don’t invite me on their nights out. They keep their eyes averted, suddenly find something of utmost importance in the hefty file they’re carrying, or there’s a message on their phone or they’re just downright embarrassed by the sight of me, sat outside the boss’s office.

I’d heard rumours at the coffee machine. Gossip was rife that someone was going to go. I tried to listen more but they shut up when I came close. Can’t be me. I’ve nearly achieved my targets, I’ve learnt how to use the computer systems, just about. Can’t be me, can it? Surely he’s going to extend my contract.

I shuffle my shoulders, shift my stiff neck from side to side and push my tie further up. Got to look smart. Got to look efficient. Brush my shoulders. Check the shoes. Still gleaming. Not a scuff in sight. Mother would be proud.

I look at the brass plate on the door. His name with letters after it. How pretentious can you get? I’ve got letters I could put there too. I can think of other letters after his name. Couldn’t possibly say them here.

I check my watch and wait for the door to open, smile at the ready.

I stand against the window and check my watch. Five minutes more. What to say to him? He’ll come in wearing his cheap, shiny suit and plastic shoes with a smile plastered on his face. He just doesn’t get it. Confidence beyond ability. Probably thinks he’s being given a new contract not a bollocking. He doesn’t get it. Never will, not with all the training in the world.

But I don’t want to destroy him. He’s a harmless sort. Always says good morning.

I tidy the papers and pens on my desk. Check the notes from his team leader. Pretty damning so no argument there. Easy enough, I hope, although there is the elephant in the room. Let’s hope to God he’s got enough sense not to raise it.

Can’t put it off any longer. I get up, slap on a weak, sympathetic smile, and open the door wide.

The door opens and there he is. ‘Good morning, Mr Henderson. Do come in.’

I rise out of my chair and walk towards him. ‘Thank you, sir,’ with the emphasis on the ‘sir’. I thought he flinched a bit at that but it’s always good to show a bit of humility. I took the proffered seat, so much more expensive than the ones outside, and made myself comfortable, shifting about and wondering what to do with my file.

‘Are you ok?’ he queried as I shuffled about.

‘Yes. Just wondering what to do with my file.’

‘Just put it on my desk for now. We’ll come to that later.’

I was beginning to regret the polyester shirt I’d chosen as I felt sweat pricking my back and underarms. I had used deodorant after my bath, hadn’t I? There was a long silence and I wondered if I was supposed to speak first. I opened my mouth, ‘Um, I…’ and then he leapt in.

‘Right, as I’m sure you know the department has been carrying out staff appraisals recently.’

‘Of course, I’ve got my self-appraisal here.’

‘Yes, yes. As I said we’ll come to that later.’ He locked his fingers together and gave me what I thought was a sharp look – surely unnecessary in the circumstances. ‘You had the opportunity to discuss your team leader’s appraisal, didn’t you?’

‘Oh, certainly. We had a full and frank discussion about my performance.’

‘Indeed. Were you satisfied with what she concluded?’

‘Well, yes. I have several areas for further development but, overall, she seemed highly satisfied.’

His eyebrows raised and he tapped his pen rapidly on the notebook in front of him. ‘Really?’

‘Well, yes,’ I smiled,’ I know that I have more to do to reach my targets fully and there are a few parts of the computer system that I am not fully au fait with. I can do that though, no problem. I’ll have it sorted in no time you’ll see.’

‘Indeed.’  His pen tapped even faster. Did he have a nervous tic? ‘Do you know what score she gave you? How many stars?’

I frowned and tried to look as though I’d forgotten. ‘I’m not sure. I can’t seem to recall it.’ He raised his eyebrows.

‘Well, I’ll tell you. It was one. Just one out of ten. The only area in which you scored was attendance.’

I leaned back in my seat and vaguely remembered the conversation that I had dismissed. ‘Well, yes, but that was just a matter of opinion, wasn’t it?’

‘Yes. It was your team leader’s opinion.’

‘But she doesn’t know me, she doesn’t know what I am capable of.’

‘She is a highly experienced team leader with thirty people in her team. I trust her implicitly. She does know what you’re capable of, along with all the other people in her team and, unfortunately, you haven’t reached the grade.’

‘Perhaps I’d had a difficult day,’ I offered.

‘Possibly, but she assesses you every day,’ He stared through me again, ‘and there has not been one single day on which she has not found fault. She’s told you this repeatedly. It’s logged on your appraisal. Other members of staff have also complained that you are not pulling your weight which makes life difficult for them.’

I jumped out of my seat all sense of decorum and deference gone. ‘This is ridiculous. It’s a witch hunt. You just want me out, to bring in one of your cronies.’

I too rose from my seat and retreated to the window. I stared out at the carpark, not a very prepossessing sight. This was not going as I’d hoped. I needed time to think. ‘Please sit down, Mr Henderson.’ I heard him sit and I turned back. ‘Now, let’s calm things down. What is it you wish to show me in your file, your self-appraisal I guess?’ He pushed it over the desk and I scanned through. ‘This bears no relation at all to what your team leader has written. You have evaluated yourself as a 9/10.’

‘Yes, I have the potential to be at the top. I know I have. I could be one of your best employees, sir.’

I took time to think. ‘Why haven’t you achieved this yet, then?’

This was getting difficult. ‘I need more training.’

‘But you’ve had as much training as we gave all our new employees in the last intake and they have all succeeded, except you.’

‘Give me another chance. I deserve that and I shall prove to you that I can do it.’ I sounded like I was begging but what else to do.

‘You’ve had five months to prove yourself, Mr Henderson. Surely long enough. Your trial contract was for six months and I would have expected you to reach the required standard by now.’

I took a deep breath. ‘Do you know who I am?’

Here it was then, finally. The elephant in the room. He was going to play his trump card.

‘Remind me, Mr Henderson. Just who are you?’

‘I am the grandson of the managing director, as you well know.’

‘And that entitles you to what exactly? Surely you don’t expect preferential treatment?’

He flushed with rage or embarrassment; I wasn’t sure which. He spluttered as he considered his response. ‘Um, well, er…’ I just sat in silence and watched him squirm.

Oh God. The sweat was pouring out of me now. My voice rose, ‘I haven’t had preferential treatment.’

‘No, and today you are having the same treatment as any other employee would have, one whose performance was below par, that is. I have no cronies, as you put it, that I wish to bring in. I just need a team that is delivering results and reaching company targets, your grandfather’s company.’

My confidence seeped away with my sweat. There must be a way out of this but it was looking bleak, even to me. ‘What can I do?’

‘You have one month left on your contract. Within that time, I expect you to work hard to rectify the failings that your team leader has identified. She will discuss progress with you weekly and she will report to me weekly. I expect improvement.’

‘And if not?’

‘I’m sure you don’t really need me to answer that question. I shall have no option. Your temporary contract will not be renewed.’ I rose to leave. ‘Just one more thing, I shall write up the notes of our meeting today which I would like you to read and sign to confirm your understanding of the situation. I suggest you return to the office and speak to your team leader and agree a way forward.’

I opened the door. ‘Thank you, sir.’ No emphasis on sir this time.

‘Close the door on your way out.’

The chairs outside were empty, no one was wandering about in the corridor. I lifted my head, shrugged my shoulders and plastered on a bright smile. I could handle this. I’d show them.