There are aphids on the lupins

There are aphids on the lupins. I’m at my wits’ end with them. I emailed Gardeners Weekly, to ask for their advice, they suggested turning the hose onto the jet setting and blasting them off. I tried that, well Mary Busybody next door screamed over the wall that I was getting her laundry all wet. Went crazy at me. Bet she never gets any aphids on her lupins; they look like God himself grew them. I’ve a good mind to let the dogs trample on them, that would take the smirk from her face.

Talking about dogs, Robin phoned from Australia last night, they are having a freak heatwave. She said the dogs are so hot, that they make these little things called Doggy Pops, to cool them down. A mixture of boiled chicken broth and raw carrots, poured into toilet roll holders and frozen. Imagine that. Apparently its all the rage down under,  Supermarkets even sell a range of ice-lollies for pets. Ridiculous. Fools and their money. I asked her did she know how to get rid of aphids, but Robin had to google what they were. Neither of them does any gardening, that’s very disappointing. If it wasn’t for the dogs, she said they would happily concrete the whole yard. Where does she get her phrases? Yard. I pointed out they aren’t American, no need to talk like a yank. Robin went on one of her rants, language was universal, how our world was more connected now, barriers were from our generation of Baby Boomers, when we excepted oppression. I was glad she called me; I couldn’t bear to pay for a phone call to listen to such ludicrous chatter.

They are coming home for Christmas. That will be nice. I know you dislike talk of the festive season before the tomato seedlings get re-potted in the greenhouse, they are still in the hot-press. I should have planted them weeks ago, but they were slow to come up this year, probably got to do with climate change or maybe because I bought them from a cheap discount store. Mind you, Mary Busybody buys all her plants there, apparently, they never give her trouble. If she didn’t have all that security lighting, I would sneak into her garden some night to spray weed killer on her prize lupins. That would quiet her bragging.

Speaking of flowers, I remembered to put the tea leaves on your roses, like you asked. It made me laugh as it brought back memories of that daytrip to Bray, when we got our tea leaves read by that old fortune teller. How we stumbled upon her bright red wagon, as we tried to find shelter from a downpour. We had never seen anyone like her before, smoking a long pipe, with a funny headscarf draped in beads, her eyes were two different colours. Told us we would have six children, would travel to exotic lands, saw riches in our future and that we would live a long, happy life together. Little did she know.

I called you the other day, silly wasn’t it. Knew you wouldn’t answer but I called you all the same. Just wanted to hear your voice, ask you how you kept the aphids off the lupins and tell you that finally I won a game of Solitaire. I play it most days while eating dinner, sometimes in the middle of the night too, getting good at it now. I let the dogs sleep in our room, but their arthritis is getting worse, they struggle with the stairs, sometimes we fall asleep on the sofa in front of the telly. Its nice company on the stormy nights.

Blackbirds are nesting in the Hawthorn tree again, the pair of them followed me round the garden while I was weeding, collecting worms and insects for their young. Instead of throwing the slugs over next doors wall, I tossed them to the birds. Poor things looked exhausted. I could really empathise with them, brought me back to when the twins were born. We didn’t have a clue, did we? Nor get much sleep. Those long nights of colic, teething and bewilderment, we thought would never end, yet seemed to go by so fast, as if we blinked and then they were gone. The house is so quiet now. I keep a radio on in every room, just to stay up-to-date on the weather really and for gardening tips too.

A man on YouTube said to create natural biological controls by using live predators to eat the aphids such as ladybugs. I asked James to come over to help me order some on the internet but he said it could be a scam and to just spray them with a chemical killer, it would clear them up fast. I haven’t seen him for a few weeks now, he is always busy with the girls bringing them to ballet, football, swimming, horse riding, drama, scuba diving- who knows what else. Kids should be kids, playing out on the street, getting dirty, causing mischief, not ferried around all weekend going here, there, and everywhere. Makes me dizzy just thinking about it. Why have kids if all you are going to do is put them into endless activities, living life by a timetable. Mind you, Gillian is such a snob, bet it’s all for show. Poor kiddos are probably made recite Shakespeare’s sonnets to entertain her dinner party guests. Next time I’m around there I will give her a bunch of your lupins, imagine her face when she sees them covered in aphids. Then I will teach the grandchildren rude Limericks and give them bubble gum.

The freezer is so well stocked. All the neighbours filled it. I shouldn’t complain but jeepers some of the dinners are so terrible that even the dogs turned their noses up at them. Quite tempted to throw the stews and casseroles to the foxes but Mary Busybody would complain, again. Your lasagne is still in the deep freezer. The kids keep telling me to eat it or it will spoil. I just cannot bring myself to cook it. That is the very last one. Countless times I take it out, and think today is the day, but I see your writing on the label, trace my fingers over it, remember you cooking and singing, with the wonderful aromas that filled the kitchen. How we squeezed friends round our tiny table serving supper in mismatched bowls. Drinking home-made Gooseberry wine. The house was alive with animated debates, intimate secrets shared, poetry recited, the odd scandal unearthed. I always enjoyed when a guest was brave enough to bring up religion in your company, not knowing how well educated in theology you were. You cut them down in seconds then lifted the atmosphere again by telling a dirty joke. The walls emanated with our laughter.

I found the bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape that we were saving for a special occasion under the stairs, covered in dust. Next to the unopened fancy box of chocolates you had hid because you were on a diet. They are past their use by date now. What were we waiting for, why didn’t we just enjoy them together? I wish I could turn back time. Time, we wasted rooting out every weed instead of relishing in the beauty that surrounded us.

Someone from the church popped by to see did I want to go to a support group in the parish hall. I asked if she knew anything about how to get rid of aphids. She just stared at me blankly. So, I told her I was hard of hearing that I would not be able to  get involved. Honestly, how could rattling off prayers help me, when all I want is for you to comfort me. Why did you leave me? Sometimes I hate you for it. You were always better at coping and getting on with things than me. I feel so angry with myself for not being able to save you, and now your Lupins.

Unless, I was to ask Mary Busybody, ask her to help me, with the aphids. Open that bottle of wine, sit in the garden and truly enjoy the beauty we created. Surrounded by our birds, our bees and even the aphids.