Just Married

“You have got to be kidding me. You don’t even like her. You complain about her all the time. You tell me she doesn’t listen to you. Just the other day you said, what is that you said? You were mid-sentence when she got up and walked out of the room?”

“I know, I know,” he sighed.

He truly hated her. It seemed what was once his favorite spot on the sofa, the one closest to the end table so he could set his beer on it, was now her favorite spot on the sofa. It was probably so she could reach the remote more easily.

He tried moving the remote to the coffee table to see if that would inspire a new seating arrangement, but it didn’t work. He just spent an extra fifteen minutes cursing at himself looking for the remote after he set the newspaper on top of the coffee table covering up the remote.

She sat serenely staring at him. She never said a word. She had a smug little smile on her face and a knowing glint in her eye the whole time. He hated her. 

Justin stared at the bottom of his empty beer mug as his friend continued to placate him, “Listen, you don’t have to feel guilty about wanting her gone. It’s your house too.” 

They had met at a local establishment to have a few drinks and a burger on a Friday night. They were seated at a booth in the far corner of the restaurant so they didn’t need to shout to hear one another speak. There didn’t seem to be any major hockey games or baseball games or wrestling matches on any of the televisions. In fact, the one TV that was on over the bar was tuned in to bowling. Who knew there were that many fans who followed bowling? 

“You couldn’t be more right, Rodney. Next round is on me. Two drafts?” With that Justin walked to the bar to order two more. He was thinking maybe they should order some food too so he grabbed a couple of menus off the bar before wandering back.

Rodney took the menu, “Good idea, I’m starved. How long you guys been married now anyway?”

“Believe it or not, it’s been over ten years now. Can you believe you stood next to me on that altar a decade ago?” 

***

“There is nothing just about being just married. That’s like saying someone is just hanging on by a thread or that it’s just around the corner.

As a matter of fact, I was just saying that to someone the other day. We really do over use the word just.'

There are just so many ways we can use the word just. It just lends itself to so many situations. '

How much time is left? Just enough to finish this cup of coffee before you need to dash off to work. This recipe doesn’t specify exactly how much salt and pepper to add. You need to add just enough for it to taste good for you. '

Someone just took your parking spot when you are running late, how unjust is this?”

“Would you just shut up? How’s that for a just statement?” Her friend set her empty wine glass down on the island. “I’m just going to run to the bathroom while you open another bottle.”

“HA! You said ‘just’ again!” Mercy called out to her friend’s backside. 

Fran groaned as she plunged the corkscrew in the new bottle of chardonnay. She was definitely feeling tipsy. She always talked too much when she drank. And what was all that crap nonsense about just being married? Did she really say that?

Maybe she should slow it down and have a glass of water. Or maybe not. She needed to just relax now and then. Just. There it is again. The cork came out with a satisfying pop and a pleasant aroma wafted up from the nose of the bottle. “Don’t you just love the sound of a bottle of wine opening?”

“Not as much as I love the sound of it being poured into my glass. Fill ‘er up, Frannie!”

The wine gurgled into the glass making both women smile. They both settled onto the wooden stools at the kitchen island. A warm glow from the french vanilla candle gently lit their faces. Even the golden retriever laying on the floor gave a contented sigh.

“Hey, how are things going with, um, what’s his name? Tod, or Steve, or, your guy?” Mercy stuttered as she couldn’t keep up with who her friend was dating the most recently. Then she had a second of panic when she wasn’t sure if there was a man at the moment to be asking about. Was there a break up that she should know about? 

“You wouldn’t even believe what this asshole said to me. His name was Jon, by way, but it doesn’t even matter. He told me that my breasts weren’t big enough for him. He actually asked me if I had ever considered, ‘you must you must increase your bust’ - you know, from that book we read when we were kids? That Judy Blume book? I asked him if he had ever considered increasing his intelligence and showed him the door.”

“Good for you!” Fran held up her glass to toast her friend. “What an asshole. You know, I recently read that that book was supposedly about a young girl finding herself and her religious beliefs. Is that what you got out of that book?”

“Huh? I learned about periods and boobs…and that it was what all the cool kids were reading,” Mercy said. “I guess I wasn’t that deep a thinker when I was twelve.”

“Me neither. I had to sneak the book out of the library and read it on the sly. My mom told me I was forbidden to read it. I thought it was because it talked about puberty and stuff like that. Now I feel like I should go back and reread it again to find all the parts I missed. I kind of feel like an idiot.”

“Well, then we are idiots together, but we both have perfectly perfect breasts. With or without Judy Blume and her plan to increase our busts!” It was Mercy’s turn to hold her glass up in a mock toast.

***

“We aren’t just married anymore, but we aren’t just married either, if you know what I mean,” Justin slurred to Rodney. 

Rodney scraped a cold french fry through the ketchup on his plate. “Huh?” 

“We aren’t just married. We are partners. We are best friends and best enemies sometimes too. We know one another better than anyone else. Even you, man. She has all the dirt on me. I don’t know where I stop and she ends. We can read one another’s minds sometimes. It’s eerie I tell you.” 

“Dude, we gotta cut you off. You sure it’s marriage you’re talking about? Not the ball and chain?”

“C’mon. It’s all part of the package. It’s the roller coaster ride you take together: ups and downs, sickness and health, good and bad, tumbles and stumbles, whirls and swirls.”

“Right…so when the shit hits the fan, the fan keeps spinning?”  Rodney looked sadly down at his plate, mourning the end of his mound of fries. “You gonna finish your fries?”

Justin slid his plate toward the center of the table. “You seeing anyone these days?” 

***

“He asked you to do what?” Mercy said in disbelief. “You told him no, right? This is your house as much as his. Marriage and to have and to hold and death til you part la di da. Well, this may be the death part. No way. Tell me you said no.”

Fran’s knuckles turned white holding her wine glass so hard. She was afraid it might shatter in her hand so she set it down on the island. She stood up from the wooden stool and began to pace the tiled kitchen floor. “Well, you see…”

“You have wanted a dog your whole life. You finally got the dog. How can you give the dog up now?” Mercy pummeled her with questions.

Fran sighed, “The dog may not have been such a good idea, I suppose. She has turned our lives upside down. She eats his shoes and the remote. I swear the more he tries to avoid her, the more she tries to make him notice her. She does everything she can to get his attention and he hates it. The other day I heard the two of them arguing over who got to sit where in the living room.”

Mercy smiled, and then giggled. “You’re kidding, right? Is this a joke? You sound like you are talking about kids, not your husband and your dog.”

“Yeah, but if I’ve learned one thing, marriage is about compromises and this might be one of them. I may need to find a new home for the dog.”

***

Justin walks in the door and tosses his jacket on the back of the sofa. The dog looks up at him from where she is sitting on the couch. Her tail wags and she tilts her head at him. He leans in as she rolls over to show her belly. He gives her a good rubbing. “You’re a good girl, aren’t you? You love living here? You like it here? Ya big fur ball? Where’s mom?”

He continues down the hallway and into the bedroom to find Frannie. She had just finished her night time ritual of brushing her teeth, washing her face, and saying her prayers. She is now laying in bed with a book. She gives him a warm smile. “Hey there, did you have a nice night? Mercy was over earlier. We had too much wine, as usual.”

He sits down on the edge of the bed and takes her hand. “It was a good night. Rodney and I did a lot of talking. Well, I talked, he ate my fries. I got to thinking.” He leaned in to kiss her.

“You’ve been thinking, huh?” she smiled sweetly at him. 

“About marriage and about how lucky I am to have you,” he said. “You love the dog. And, she is growing on me too. I think we should keep the dog. Let’s keep the dog.”

Fran wraps her arms around Justin and thinks, “Thank you, God. Thanks an awful lot.”