Three Little Words

All it took. Set the scene. Sky so empty. Not a bird. Not a plane. Riverbank our seat. Padded with grass. I smile upwards. Sky blesses us. No rain today. That is rare. We are Irish. We are neighbours. Always have been. She is favoured. She is exceptional. A beautiful rarity. We are serene. Swans alongside us. Glide on water. Ripples barely noticeable. What a day. Memorable for eternity. Plain to some. Not to me. Significant as birth. Amy my equal. Seated like bookends. Watching shared view. We are lucky. We are free. Unburdened by age. Everything within reach. Choices to make. Dictate our future. I eagerly await. Developments are incoming. All is still. Reaching for Amy. Hands are expressive. They demonstrate love. Is this love? No comparison available. Is it needed? Fingers glaze hers. She doesn’t react. Does she notice? Is it nerves? She is calm. Always has been. I admire that. Wish I was. Amy beautifully beams. Appreciates the stillness. We are alone. We often are. Nothing to do. Village is quiet. Own entertainment necessary. I am quiet. Words chosen carefully. Overthinking kills romance. Remind myself again. Amy nudges me. Points to sky. One lone bird. Traces its course. In vast blankness. I am touched. It dances freely. Unencumbered by thoughts. Poetry in skies. Something is divine. Natural surroundings help.

Inner critic loud. Listen too often. Let it go. Like a balloon. Into the atmosphere. Never seen again. A beautiful disappearance. Let it go. Hard to change. So many habits. So many fears. Amy’s warm smile. Fear melts away. Cupid’s bow pout. Artistically drawn lips. My own model. Inexpressible, luminescent beauty. Always viewed it. Day after day. Year after year. Never gets old. Beauty never does. A blessed day. Nothing to do. That is wonderful. Small town life. Kindred spirits meet. Youth enhances feelings. Future is unblemished. No impressions made. Dirty fingerprint-free. We are one. Cherish our naivety. Preserve it forever. Oh, if only. We are growing. Growing above ground. Everything breathes together. Let’s be together. My mind imagines. Painting possible pictures. Better than reality. Infused with romance. What is next? This lengthy pause. Suspended between worlds. One of certainty. One of possibility. Choosing the latter. Ending a friendship. One single movement. So much loss. So much potential.

Breeze lifts clothing. Hair moves too. Untethered things dance. It is remarkable. Her face too. Aching for contact. What traps me? My own mind? One small gesture. Made completely enormous. Thanks to fear. Drawn out moments. Longer than needed. My mind creates. It ruins too. Amy slips away. I constantly procrastinate. Sent into spirals. Self-reflection paralyses. Self-loathing destroys. Shaking it off. I want better. Let it go. Focus on Amy. Place it elsewhere. Feelings for her. Grow and expand. I can change. I can stop. For her sake. I need her. I know that. She is everything. She is morning. She is night. She is sunlight. Her face beams. Stronger than rays. Positivity is important. Break bad patterns.

Amy is different. Homelife is kind. She knows love. I never have. She knows praise. I never have. She knows encouragement. I never have. Not too late. Everything can change. Living at home. Arrested in spirit. Escape is reachable. Amy can help. We can restart. Close to home. Far away too. World our oyster. So much novelty. Expands before us. Self-reliance avoided. We are two. Amy and me. Meant to be. In my estimation. We are compatible. Airborne feathered friends. Better in company. Shyness does subside. A decision made. Moving towards her. An arm outstretched. She accepts it. That surprises me. Deep insecurity shifts. Always expecting rejection. Amy embraces me. She understands everything. She hears it. Bricks between us. All is audible. Homelife is amplified. Sound does travel. So does hatred. Intimacy and understanding. Without any words. Too many words. Diminish real meaning. Life is hard. Silent co-existence helps. Watching river swells. We find peace. Nature’s own music. Our ears receive. We are happy. I realise that. A quiet realisation. No dramatic revelation. A quiet knowing. A welcome thought. Unlike many others. Sun will set. Ending eventually comes. Does not matter. What we have. It transcends all.

I move in. Such a delay. Hesitancy overcomes me. Amy smiles knowingly. She reads thoughts. So it seems. Always tuned in. A sensitive soul. What I need. Taking my hand. Her hand sure. It is steady. It is calming. It reassures me. All is well. Nothing can fail. Friendship is expansive. It can transform. It can continue. My lips tremble. Hers are unmoving. I know her. She is safety. Why question it? Other than habit. Amy waits unerringly. She is patient. No pressing forwards. No rush today. We have more. Years upon years. Tomorrow after tomorrow. Amy my future. I am hers. Confidence can grow. Good conditions required. The sky empties. No more life. Only ours entwined. Nature respects us. We are happy. Could stay forever. But dinnertime looms. We are children. Bound by age. Hope helps everything. Even the hopeless. One small effort. Before night descends. Day demands it. So much wavering. I am finished. I must act. It is essential. More for me. Amy would wait. I need action. Everything points forwards. The moment arrives. It is spectacular. My lips puckered. Chapped but feeling. I lean in. Amy beams back. Regarding my lips. Her eyes dance. Eyes to lips. Pink and plump. Cushions for hearts. Tender as mine. Our lips touch. One true moment. Before life interferes. We are home. Her kiss familiar. Reliving my imaginings. So many times. This is true. We are one. For an instant. I am safe. Amy is everything. She intoxicates me. I am absorbed. Water to sponge. Water becomes inseparable. We are too. We are involved. Moment for two. Our souls know. No one else. Time calls us. Leave the riverbank. Go back home. Only by name. Amy is home. Even dirty riverbanks. Place doesn’t matter. She is everything. Life is incidental. Three little words. Our first kiss.