My Insensitive Negligent Darling: Theft of lucky charms

My Insensitive Negligent Darling: Theft of lucky charms

I am in the bed already awake when the alarm goes off. Today's presentation is everything I have been thinking about since my boss announced it last week. After a few minutes of contemplating my life meaning, I crawl out of bed already unsatisfied with myself. I feel make-up on my face that I was too lazy to take off last night and dirtiness of my hair I have to wash in the next two hours. However, when I come to the bathroom, the first thing I start searching for is a pendant.

The pendant is a gift my parents gave to me a few months ago, it is a four-leaf clover that I brought to every one of my presentations so far and, you guessed it, it went great. I was sure I brought pendant from my handbag into the bathroom last night so it will remind me to wash it before I leave for work. Lots of people will say I am crazy, but good results happen whenever I have my pendant with me, therefore, four-leaf clover lucky charm works. Bad news is, if you lose your lucky charm you lose everything and, this morning, I can't find it.

I look around the bathroom, I turn all my cosmetics and make-up upside-down, but pendant is nowhere to be seen. I check my handbag, but see no trace of it. I suddenly remember my window was open in the morning and I can't remember if I really left it that way. Also, are those footsteps next to the window? Fear and anxiety start to build up in my body.

There is one more thing you need to know about me: I suffer from panic attacks (among other diagnosis, but I think my therapist made other ones up to mess with me). You see, not only do I have my big presentation today in two hours while I still need to wash my hair and do my morning affirmations, now I feel my heartbeat and stomach cramps overcome any other feeling in my body. My therapist says I need to distract my thoughts. Okay, think. What do I need from groceries? No, groceries is food, I can't think of food now. What is one nice thing that happened yesterday? I got a birthday present for my best friend, oh shit, will I be on time for that coffee today, are buses still driving that route? Damn, no, no, no, I have to stop. Okay, one hundred minus three and a half is one hundred ninety six and a...and I already feel food from last night coming to my mouth. From standing in front of the mirror, I end up running to the toilet and I throw up. My body temperature is rising and falling rapidly and uncontrollably, from making my whole shirt sweaty to shaking inside one minute. I throw up again, and again. After 20 minutes, I look at the clock, put my hair in a ponytail and decide that no affirmations will help me today. However, although in a hurry, I first call the alarm company checking if the system was working right last night. The service told me everything is in complete order, but I do remember my ex-boyfriends friend works for that company so he probably got him on the same page to mess with me. I leave my house without my lucky charm, knowing this will be the worst day I had in months.

***

I go inside the car and check one more time if all my papers are in the handbag, also, in my last hope I search for a pendant but with no luck. My body is shaking. Instead blood, little molecules of the worst kind of panic are going through my veins. I suddenly forget how to drive, gas is on the right side, right? It is, good. Wait! What if my ex cut of my brakes yesterday when he was leaving with my pendant? That jealous jerk would rather have me dead I guess. I carefully try the brakes and realize they work, but my panic doesn't stop. Do I have all the papers for my presentation? I do. Okay. Did I lock the door, leave the oven on? No, not the oven, I wasn't even eating this morning. Oh God, I forgot about breakfast. Why did he have to steal my pendant? I am sure nothing of that would have happened if I had it. Suddenly, I freeze. Maybe my ex is still in my house, was he watching me getting ready and throwing up? Someone must have broken into my house and stole my pendant, there is no other explanation, I did not leave that window open. Yes, that's it, he is trying to mess with me hoping no one believes me because I have a few notes on psychiatrist prescription, wouldn't be the first time. I decide I am gonna call him later and make a scene, but first I need to do my presentation.

I am on the road and my car turns off for the second time in the last 10 minutes. With extreme anxiety I manage to be grateful I am not a pilot. Suddenly, one drop hits my window, second drop, third drop, and the sky opens with great rain not even halfway to my work. I look at the clock and realize I am going to be late, so I call my boss.

"You have insufficient funds to make this call".

I stop at the red light and start to cry.

No, I can't cry, my mascara will....Oh no, no, no, no. I look in the mirror, I forgot my make-up. Realizing I am make-up free I start crying even more. People behind me start to honk, I guess I didn't see a green light from my tears.

I continue to ride and go through my last night evening routine in my head. Yes, I left my pendant in the bathroom and no, I did not leave the window open, someone broke in. I decide I will check if anything else was stolen and call the police as soon as I come home.

I made it to work 10 minutes late. Getting out of the car, I instantly step into a big puddle of water. Pants on my right leg got wet to my ankle. My need to cry right now is bigger than any other force in the universe, but I do keep my neutral face and walk to the front door.

I instantly start looking for my boss and I see her standing nervously at the reception, our eyes meet.

" You look like hell!", she says highly irritated and points me to the second floor where the meeting, on which my presentation has to be introduced, has already started.

I start running and come to the elevator but it is out of order. I take the stairs and start running as fast as I could, but I miss one step.

I would love to say I fell a little, but it was devastating on so many levels. My whole body started rolling backwards back to the beginning of the stairs, I hit my leg and my back. My handbag falls even further away and everything falls out. One of the members of the meeting comes out of the office having heard the noise. Woman with perfect make-up, with hair as if it was made from silk and perfectly ironed clothes stares at me and asks if I need any help. I do, I need help. However, as soon as I open my mouth to apologize for being late, wanting to tell tiny monologue about my ex stealing my stuff, something in my peripheral vision catches my attention. For a minute perfect lady came out I forgot about my handbag that was still standing on the stairs with all my stuff fallen out. A PENDANT!!!

The pendant was on one of the stairs, my perfect green four-leaf clover! It was in my handbag all the time and it must have passed my view!

Woman still stands and looks at me now with surprise on her face seeing me go from my rock bottom to high euphoria in less that one minute. With the biggest smile on my face I fix my hair, my shirt and shoes, pick up all the things from my handbag and put the pendant around my neck. I hold it tight for a second: "I can' even imagine what my morning would have looked like without you".

***

I climb up the stairs and enter the presentation room. Everyone looks at me in a surprise, probably because I must look quite attractive. "My pendant is around my neck, this is gonna be one hell of a presentation!", I think to myself and in the back of my mind I am already planning the revenge, my ex must have stolen something else when he broke up last night.