THE GUARDIANS GROW TOO

“Good Afternoon, Ana, it is afternoon over there, I hope.”

“Good Afternoon, Tony, and yes, it’s afternoon.”

“Good, then.”

“Yep. Our countries are only one hour apart, actually.”

“Quite frankly, I did not know that.”

“Oh that’s Okay”

“So how is your day going?”

“It’s going... fine...ish”

“Ha ha fine-ish, why the ‘ish’?”

“I dunno like the day’s kinda good but it’s been really boring till now, but it’s still good, so... fine-ish”

“That makes sense. By the way, why’s there a countdown on the screen?”

“Oh yeah, the app only gives like thirty minutes at a time for video calls now.”

“I’ve actually used this app a couple times to have video calls for some online classes, it didn’t have this.”

“It’s a new feature, actually. You have to pay to remove the countdown.”

“Of course you do.”

“Yep, the company saw that they had a lot of users and decided this was a good way to make more money.”

“Well guess we can’t blame them.”

“Yep. At least the free version is still great; I can just send a new link if the time runs out.”

“That works”

“The poster on your wall, that’s Aang, right? From the show, you always talk about umm... the last Airbender!”

“Yeah, you remember”

“It’s hard to forget, you always found a way to bring it into most conversations”

“Guilty as charged, but in my defense, it is the best show ever written”

“That, I am yet to find out. And you were right, the poster does match your bedsheets”

“and when exactly do you plan to find out? and yeah it does!”

“I’ll be honest, I have no idea. I barely have time due to lectures.”

“that’s a real bummer, but don’t worry ill be sure to remind you again in the future.”

“Yeah, I am very sure you will.”

“Fax! And by the way, I know I already said this in our chats, but your voice is really sweet, and seeing you speak live makes it more so.”

“Oh thank you Tony ha. People keep saying I sound like a baby tho, especially when I speak in English”

“Not gonna lie I do hear the baby part, although, I’ve never really heard you speak in your language so I can’t say for sure about how you sound in that.”

“Oh no! I guess I’m not beating the baby allegations haha. And don’t worry I’ll send a voice note of me speaking in my language so you can judge for yourself.”

“Well we are already on video call you could speak it for me live”

“Oh god no! I’m a bit shy about that, how about during our second or third video call?”

“Deal. By the way, I’ve been looking at the sculpture behind you, what is that, exactly? I can’t see it very well.”

“Oh wait, I’ll bring it closer. It’s a sculpture of a woman, Andrea bought it from an African country, I think it was Togo. she really likes African art, at least that's what she says. She has a lot of others like this.”

“It’s actually pretty cool. Wait she has a lot of African art or a lot of African art of women?”

“Women, actually; All the sculptures she has are of naked women, most of the drawings too.”

“That’s… interesting.”

“Haha, I don’t really know if interesting is the word I’d use.”

“True, I think the word I’d use is bisexual, or bi-curious?”

“Well, maybe...”

“Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s weird to call her that, considering you told me she’s kinda homophobic.”

“Not kinda, she is actually homophobic, and sometimes she says some weird or maybe fruity things, too.”

“Interesting, interesting, I guess I’m not too incorrect. My curiosity is, even more, piqued now, because what do you mean by ‘fruity things’?”

“Fruity means she says some things that kind of come off gay or like seems she might like gay stuff. One time, she said the reason more girls are becoming lesbian is that lesbians have better sex.”

“Yeah, Ana, Your Mum is definitely Bisexual”

“And Homophobic, a wonderful combo”

“Well, think about it, You told me your country is quite conservative and not very open to queer people, it stands to reason that lots of people would have some sort of internalized homophobia? Don’t you think?”

“Actually, that does make sense. I had a friend who was kinda homophobic in high school, but when he moved to the USA, we heard he was gay. So yeah if my mum was bisexual, I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

“See! Exactly. And My country is mad homophobic as well, we’re just less developed.”

“Yeah, I heard about homophobia in your country, actually. I even saw an interview, although I don’t know if this was from your country, the interviewer was like ‘why are you gay’, he didn’t even let the trans-man who he was about to interview sit down before he asked him that. it was funny, but, sad.”

“Oh I know this video, but it wasn’t actually my country, it was Uganda but they speak English too so it’s easy to confuse us with them.”

“Oh, my bad.”

“It’s alright Ana. So how has school been?”

“It’s been stressful lately, but I have been passing all my courses, even Andrea was proud of me, funny enough.”

“Well I’m not surprised, I already knew you are intelligent. I noticed something, even from our chats, you call your mum by her first name why’s that?”

“Thank you, Tony, that’s really sweet. Calling her ‘mum’ doesn’t come naturally to me.”

“Why’s that? if I’m allowed to ask.”

“Oh no, don’t worry it’s OK. It’s just that there were times when she said and did things that made me feel like less of a person, and even more so her child. I sometimes call her mum because to be fair, there are some moments when she makes me forget how awful she can be.”

“I know this doesn’t change anything, but I’m really sorry your mum- I mean Andrea, was awful to you.”

“It’s actually worth a lot coming from you, and the problem is, it’s just not me she’s awful to, she’s the same way with my sister and grandma. She’s mean and many times, she’s not there when I need her, or rather, when my sister and I need her.”

“I understand you, Ana. And I do admire the fact that you still turned out great despite everything. my parents weren’t there a lot of times too, but I understood because they worked a lot and had to provide for me, but it still sucked though.”

“Well Andrea also works too but sometimes I just really needed her to be there for me.”

“I think if our parents could, they’d like to be there for us as much as possible, but that's just my opinion. But, the important thing is knowing they love us and are proud of us”

“Yeah true. With Andrea it’s kind of annoying because while she’s always telling me how I suck, the few times she’s proud of me like when I pass my exams for example, she makes it about herself, she is all like its because of her good genes I’m good at school and I should be grateful for that. She’s never proud of me because of me, don't know if that makes sense.”

“I do, it’s bad enough she was awful to you, but the fact that she can’t let you enjoy your wins and be proud of you is really disturbing. Have you tried talking to her about this?”

“She never listens, especially if she feels I’m trying to make her the ‘the bad guy’”

“Yeah talking to parents can be hard sometimes, if I try to tell mine any issue I have with how they are, they’ll either say I’m being disrespectful or, I don’t know anything about life. It makes me mad because they treat me like I don’t know anything but they do things that sometimes make me question their knowledge and maturity.”

“Oh god this is so Andrea and my dad too, they can be so immature and so bigoted, it makes me wonder if they really are knowledgeable people”

“wait, your dad too? Bigoted in what sense?”

“he’s kinda misogynistic and homophobic.”

“I’m assuming that’s a thing with many men in your country.”

“it kinda is”

“That’s really sad, but he has daughters though, is he misogynistic to you and your sis?”

“Not exactly, but to other women and queer people, especially when he watches TV and he sees a queer person or a girl dressed in a way he doesn’t like he would say things. He used to be way worse but I would often cry to him about it and even argued too, and he like, tried to change for me but I sense it’s really hard for him but he is trying, I guess.”

“And it doesn’t really help that he lives in a society where many don’t question his views”

“It doesn’t, but I hope he grows out of this. Haha, I feel weird talking about my own dad 'growing'.”

“I think as children, we forget that our parents aren’t just parents, they are also people, people who grow and make mistakes like their children would.”

“Yes! This is so true, my dad does some really childish things and there are so many things that you’d think an adult would know, but he doesn’t.”

“My dad is the same haha, he’s like crazy impulsive, one time, when we were still in our country, he just opened a restaurant like that, without even telling my mum, or us, and what made it worse was that he literally chose a really unsafe neighborhood and in a corner where customers can barely even find the restaurant. and when we questioned him, he never answers he’ll just say we don’t understand and I’m like wtf, of course, we don’t understand when you don’t explain.”

“Sorry, Tony that is really crazy and scary too, someone with a family to take care of shouldn’t be like that, but I guess that’s life, maybe”

“Yeah, I guess so. But I’ll be honest, the way my parents are and act does make it hard for me to take advice from them. I know they want the best for me, but it’s hard to listen to them when I see that they didn’t apply the advice they give me to their lives.”

“I get it like it feels hypocritical when they say things because they don’t do it, they don’t practice what they preach.”

“yeah that’s it, like my mum she likes telling me what to do in relationships and who to choose and stuff, but she always talks about how she doesn’t love my dad, that she just stays with him because he was rich and they had kids together, and I’m like am I supposed to take relationship advice from you? Make it make sense”

“the math ain't mathing that’s for sure and it's really sad she talks about not loving your dad. I think at a certain point our parents stop believing in love or staying with each other because of love instead they stay because they feel it’s their duty to themselves and their children”

“Yeah, you are so right, Ana. In a way it’s kinda honorable and sad because you see they are sometimes unhappy with each other, it’s kinda scary that, that may be how our lives may become if we get married”

“yeah, it really is. A girl at my university talks about how she doesn’t want to get married because of this and I kinda understand her, to be honest”

“She has a valid fear. What about you, Ana, do you plan to get married?”

“Oh fuck, wait a minute I need to send another link, we are almost out of time”

“oh dang, Please do, I’ll check my DMS for it”

“Hey, Ana.”

“Heyyy! so we have thirty minutes again.”

“Yep.”

“Great then.”

“about your question, It’s kinda complicated, I don’t know if I’ll end up with a man or woman, but If I did end up with a woman, my country wouldn't be a great place to live, and I don’t think my parents would support me.”

“I understand, and I’m really sorry, Ana. It hurts when you don’t feel you can trust in your parent's support.”

“Yeah, it really does. Maybe my dad would support me in his own weird way, because despite his bigotry, he does try to put me and my sister above anything else, but that's a maybe. I’m very sure my mum wouldn't support me being with a woman, that’s for sure. What about you, Tony, do you plan to get married?”

“Yeah I do, but I wanna take my time. Which is hard because my mum keeps pressuring me to find someone”

“That’s really awesome to hear and I’m sorry your mum is pressuring you”

“Thank you, and that’s okay. It’s just really annoying that she is pushing me to find someone but just a few years back she used to make sure I avoid girls; We used to have a shop, right, and we’d get loads of female customers, anytime one of them is even remotely nice to me and I’m nice back, she would make some snide remarks about them or even say that the fact that I’m smiling with them means I’m stealing things from her shop and giving to them for free.”

“Oh god that’s so awful, I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I didn’t feel too bad about it, but it did make me stop talking to girls as much, to be honest.”

“I totally get it. It would be hard to even explain to her that’s not what you were doing, but she won't listen because her mind is already set on believing what she wants.”

“I think that’s the part that irks me, the fact that they don’t listen to me, everything I have ever warned them about has come through, like I even told my dad that opening a restaurant in a place no one knows is a bad idea or when I told my mum it’ll be a good idea for me to travel out and study because schools weren’t great in our country but she was like ‘you just want to be free’ it really annoys me really”

“That’s so awful that she said that. I just hope now they see you were right.”

“They do, they'd never admit it but I know they do.”

“That’s progress in a way, so let’s take any win we can when it comes to our parents.”

“True. A win it is”

“I’m sorry tony, I have to go, I have a class in two hours and I need to prepare, it was really great talking to you I hope we do more video calls.”

“You are welcome, Ana, I hope we do too. And also I hope you'll speak your language for me in the next video call?”

“Haha, I will.”

“And also, Ana, I know you don’t think your mum will accept you based on who you love, but I think you should give her a chance, if your dad can set aside his bigotry for you, why not your mum?”

“I’m kinda scared but I think I’ll try and I hope you are able to get your parents to listen to you more.”

“You should, and I will try that too. I mean people learn and grow every day, so why not our parents, right?”

“True. Bye Tony, talk to you later.”

“Bye Ana, later.”