MY BELOVED

I woke up once again, feeling the love of my life nearer to me. I tried to look up, but I still can’t. If only my petals could grow faster and open myself to see my beloved, the light of my life.

I heard my comrades far from me, frustrated that there petals are still adamant on preventing us from seeing our goddess. We only have one thing, to adore her and follow it every hour of every minute of every day.

I sipped the water down my roots to facilitate my petals to open. I have been doing this ritual for so many days that I lost count, but the petals won’t budge. The walking flower taking care of us sprayed the helpful substance to us preventing the annoying bugs from clinging and making us sick, though I very hated its smell.

My everyday ritual has been growing on me, and I long for the day that I could finally see my beloved, face to face! Oh how lovely would that be!

I remember, when I was a young sapling, I urged myself to grow faster so I can break out of the soil. It was ingrained in my very soul that I have to do just that and see the world outside. I drank all the water and absorbed all nutrients from the ground so that I can grow more and more.

When at long last I broke out I felt the first light, the light I fell in love with. I couldn’t see what it was as I was inside something but I definitely felt its warmth, caring for me and nurturing me. I knew right then and there, that I’d follow this warmth, this light until I go. When I felt its light and warmth shift, I angle my body towards it, basking me in that holy light of love.

I willed myself to grow more and more, forced my head out of my body and I felt getting nearer to her. I couldn’t wait, I wanted to see her and worship her. My arms grew large basking in her warmth. I wish that my petals would open soon so that my face could feel her, could touch her.

I was waiting for so long that my heart ached not seeing my goddess, my light, my warmth, my everything.

During the cold times when my beloved disappears, I wilt, losing the will to live. But I long learned that she comes back immediately to shine back on me, to make me whole again. So I endure every cold moments to wait for her return. And now, I can’t wait to see her.

I can feel it in my roots, in my stem, in my leaves! The day of finally seeing my one beloved is getting nearer that I am so excited. I grow taller to reach her, to caress her face. Oh when would that fateful day be!

I waited and waited, grew and lost some more leaves until the day I finally felt my petals move, opening. A small opening, and I peeked, the sheer warmth I felt calmed me, and I leaned into it more. The petals finally opened! Yes! Finally!

And I was blown away by the full force of my beloved’s love for me. She shone me with her light and warmth. I drank all of it. I faced her and leaned into her. I reached out, but I can’t. This is the limit of my growth, but the fact that I can see her brings me immense joy.

Oh what a shame she is so far above from me! I could only hope that one day I’d be much nearer to her, to feel her everlasting love to me.

The walking flower – no it isn’t a flower, it’s something else – came by and sprayed the substance I like but I hate. I was grateful. I wanted to avoid sickness so that I can adore my beloved light more.

I followed it every day, and I felt my heart break every time she disappears. But I understand, she has something important to do and come back to us to shine once again our dying heart. And then I think hard, if we become too many, will my beloved stay seeing that too many of us needs her light?

And so I produce my seeds, to help propagate more and more of us in hopes of persuading my beloved, our goddess, to stay with us always.

One beautiful day, as I was basking in my beloved’s love, I felt a sharp pain down my body. I felt I was cut off from my roots. My roots! No!

But my beloved shone her love to me, and I calmed down. It would grow back, I suppose. As long as I’m with my beloved, I’ll be okay.

I felt I was moving, but I strained my body to face my beloved. I don’t know what is happening but I felt my beloved is getting farther away until I didn’t see her. My heart ached, and I hung my head. But I have high hopes that she’ll come back again for me.

I felt something touch me, and I was covered in a cool, good-smelling thing. It was wrapped around me and then I felt thirsty. I needed my roots to help me get it! But oh no! My roots! Where are they?

But then I felt I was put into something so wet. I don’t have my roots but my body, my stem compensated. It was not supposed to sip, but we’re dying. Without the water and my beloved, my death is inevitable.

I was touched by too many things, put on different places, but there was one thing I longed for, my beloved. I felt I was dying every day.

Finally, a good thing took me out and I felt invigorated! I looked up and there she was, my goddess, my beloved, my everything! I basked in her saving light. Oh how I love her! I love her so much!

I felt the good thing take me to another but I didn’t care! All my attention is towards my beloved, my one and only. The thing took me somewhere that covered me from my beloved and I wilted. I can’t take this emotional pressure anymore.

But then, it put me to somewhere I could finally see her! Yes! Thank you! I leaned out but I bumped into something. No! This can’t be! My beloved!

I moved, I adjusted my position, but I couldn’t see her. I can feel her but I can’t see her! Oh no! I need you. But there she is, moving down. Ah finally! I looked at her adoringly, happy that I can see her finally.

For some time, I settled into seeing her for a little time, but my heart couldn’t take it, as well as my body. We are not getting enough nutrients and my beloved is getting farther away from me.

I felt I was weakening, and the bugs are crawling. I hate them, and I hate that I couldn’t see my beloved for so long. I’m dying.

I’m dying, and my beloved, I can’t see her anymore.

My only wish is that when I close my eyes, I could touch her.

My beloved.

My goddess.

My everything.