Godwinks- Through Daddy's Eyes

The electrifying sparkles in his eyes those last moments of his life- will forever be transcribed in my mind. The weekend of September 23, 2016- he had accomplished his last item on his bucket list- he went to Miss Michigan to watch our granddaughter compete for the title of Miss Teen Michigan. He was delighted and full of pride as he watched her compete for the title, walking across the stage in her beautiful deep pink evening gown- as she dazzled the stage his eyes were on her as she approached the microphone; watching his face you may have thought she was his only grandchild, the smile on his face and the pride in his expression, but she was not his only grandchild - Julia was one of over 230 grandchildren that belonged to him. He was really proud of all his grandchildren- each child thought they were his favorite.

After our exciting weekend together, we got ready for our trip home, stopping one more time to see the water of Lake Huron; my father loved the water- one last time for posterity. We pulled over-enjoying the warm fall air as we watched the water crash upon the shore. He looked out over the river bank admiring the ships on the water- quietly he took in the beauty of the morning on the shoreline; simply beautiful he said: “Thank you for the tour.” A memory that lives on in my mind forever.

An unusual quietness about him on this ride home, I wondered what he was thinking about. I knew he was tired, with so many thoughts running through my mind, like would this be our last trip? Is there any more things he wanted to see and do on his bucket list? He was so tired- ready to go to heaven, he longed for my mother, It had been over 20 years since she passed away, he really missed her; I knew this- but my heart still longed for time with my father.

When we arrived at home he was ready for bed- we tucked him in all comfy and warm and let him sleep. I called my sister and said you better come in and see him- he is pretty whipped. She came and checked his vitals- he was sleeping soundly. She was quiet as we talked about the trip- we both wondered if it was too much for him, but, he insisted that he go and see Julia walk the stage. “NO REGRETS” she said- he wanted to see her perform and no one could stop him.

That night as he slept I wondered if this would be his last night, would he be gone before I woke up? I was ready to let him go- but a part of me wanted him to live forever. He slept quietly through the night that night, several times I checked to make sure he was still breathing. The next morning I awoke to “YOU WHO” What’s for breakfast? This greeting made me smile- he had so many caretakers- he was unsure in the morning which one of his daughters was there- “YOU WHO” covered them all. I was always amazed at how he would bounce back after a good nights rest. I smiled, when I heard his voice- he was back- just like the ever ready bunny, charged and ready to roll. I was supposed to be at work that morning- but I just could not muster the energy or will to leave him. He wanted his teeth, coffee, newspaper and the presidential campaign turned on. I prepared his breakfast just like he wanted 2 eggs, 2 pieces of toast, prunes, coffee, yogurt and a slice of homemade zucchini bread. He never lost his appetite. As he ate breakfast I went to take a shower.

While in the shower- thoughts ran through my mind about how God had surely answered my prayers and allowed my father to live until he died. My father loved life and made the best of every situation, and God blessed his life abundantly. I finished my shower and sat beside him as he read the paper and ate his breakfast, I watched him and was amazed, thinking he is really blessed he has a strong mind and heart, the cancer is no problem for him, he is TRIPP#STRONG living life until he dies. I thought to myself- last night I thought this was it- and today he wakes up hungry and ever so happy. My thoughts were interrupted when the phone rang- it was my brother Tim- telling dad he would be over later to play dice. Dad laughed and continued eating his breakfast; soon the phone rang again- the nurse called and said she would be out in about an hour to check on him and learn all about his trip. After I hung up- I washed his face and hands finishing the routine with a little massage on his arms and back. He loved lotion rubbed on his body, especially his back and arms.

As I was tucking in his shirt, I felt a tug of his body when all of a sudden he was shook, I felt this strong movement a thud. I thought what the heck was that? I looked at my father as his arms were held tightly to his side- his fists in a tight grip as he had the jolt of his life. No noise, just a strong force that lifted his body with a jolt. I looked at him saw his arms tighten, looked in his eyes- asked him what he was doing? I noticed he was looking at something over my right shoulder - I looked back over my shoulder to see what he was looking at, I saw blues and white shades- and my mother dancing with him in an embrace; I looked back at him his eyes were sparkling electrifying brilliant blue, I was mesmerized. In that moment I said to him: “Dad, did you just die?” 

An incredible peace came over me, I had never experienced anything like this, could not even imagine what this peace was I experienced. I looked at him and could not believe the feeling I had inside me- I should not feel this way- the feeling was absolutely euphoric. His eyes were amazing and staring straight through me, I looked back again over my shoulder and saw them still embraced dancing and I heard David’s song Hallelujah as they danced. For that moment in time I had an absence of sorrow, no pain, complete peace and utter joy. My father was gone- and I was without pain- For a split second I was in utter aw - my father amazed me- he truly lived until he died, dancing his way to heaven with the love of his life. I have never been able to accurately describe the feeling I experienced until pastor Andy Merritt taught us about Shalom- I know my hero experienced "Shalom," the moment he left this earth. I saw it in his eyes“ ...shalom characterizes the Garden (the way it was supposed to be) and the eternal City (the way it is going to be), and so provides the vision for our existence in between.” I saw heaven in his eyes, I too experienced Shalom, thankful for Godwink's found in Daddy’s eyes.