Pray for That Girl

"Are you sure this dress is OK?" Lydia asked Phil as she scanned the attire of other guests entering the Catholic church.

"It's fine," said Phil. "Don't worry. You won't spontaneously combust from a bit of skin showing." Knowing her discomfort, he added, "You look lovely."

Lydia wore a sleeveless dress with a deep V-plunge neckline. The midsummer heat deterred her from bringing a shawl, which she now deeply regretted, eyeing the other guests entering the church. "I can't remember the last time I stepped foot in church," Lydia said as Phil helped her out of the car. "And never one this fancy," she added.

"Me either. Thanks again for coming with me. You're the only thing that will make this bearable," Phil said as he wrapped his arm around Lydia's, and they walked together toward the massive building adorned with stained glass.

As they approached the double-door entry, Lydia's nerves got the best of her. "You know what? Give me just a minute. Let me get in a quick cigarette before we do this."

"Lydia, please, can't you wait? This should be over in a half hour!" Phil nervously looked through the sidelights. "OK, just make it quick! It looks like everyone has already headed inside the sanctuary." Lydia lit the cigarette before he finished his sentence and was inhaling deeply.

"The sanctuary? Are there exotic birds or something?" Lydia asked curiously through the last drag of her cigarette.

Phil tried to hold back his laughter, knowing it was an honest question. "No. You'll see," he said. "Are you almost done?"

"Yup," Lydia said as she put the cigarette out using the bottom of her heels. She quickly eyed the surroundings, realizing she didn't want to leave a cigarette on the church property. Lydia decided to leave it under a bush and get it when leaving but spotted an ashtray at the entrance. That's the strangest ashtray I've ever seen, Lydia thought as she politely dropped her cigarette butt into a concrete bowl filled with water and protruding from the exterior wall. The cross towering over the ashtray made her question the church's design choices.

As Phil and Lydia stepped inside, several voices greeted their arrival. "Phil! Over here!" Phil quickly shuffled himself and Lydia to the older couple, waving them over. Phil was smothered with hugs and questions, like what took him so long to get there and who the young woman he was with was. Lydia exchanged short pleasantries while she eyed the table beside them, which showcased elegant bottles and a crystal bowl full of the smallest crackers she'd ever seen. Lydia searched for a bartender nearby but quickly realized the bottles were not wine but grape juice. So much for an open bar, she thought while helping herself to a handful of crackers.

To Lydia's surprise, Phil and the older couple he was in deep conversation with abruptly stopped their discussion. Bulging-eyed stares accompanied an uncomfortable silence. Lydia blurted out, "Did someone see a ghost or something?" Phil's jaw dropped as Lydia inserted another handful of crackers into her mouth.

"Ha! Like the Holy Ghost! She's full of the Spirit!" Phil exclaimed to the older couple. "Such a kidder, too! Great seeing you, Aunt Bertie, and Uncle Dan!" Phil nervously laughed aloud, quickly guiding Lydia away and into the sanctuary.

"What in tarnation just happened?" Dan leaned into Bertie and squeezed her arm. "What is wrong with kids these days?"

"I don't know, dear," Bertie replied. "All I can say is we must pray for that one."

"Lydia, what are you doing? Those were communion crackers! For the wedding ceremony!" Phil's face had turned three shades of red as he escorted Lydia to a seat.

"Phil," Lydia lowered her voice to a whisper, "those were awful! I think they went stale. You need to tell whoever is in charge!" Phil squeezed Lydia's hand and motioned with his lips to quiet down. The nuptial mass was about to begin.

The sound of organs filled the room, and guests quickly took seats. After several minutes, everyone stood to honor the bride, who was about to walk down the aisle. Lydia gushed as the bride walked past, admiring every detail of the glowing young woman's gown, veil, and flawless beauty. In her excitement, Lydia attempted to raise her hands to clap, but Phil kept a firm hold on her hand and squeezed even tighter.

A clergyman brought a rolling table to the newlyweds, which carried the crystal bowl of communion crackers and grape juice. Lydia heard the reference to the Holy Ghost and realized her friend Phil hadn't made that up on the fly. Curious about the odd ritual, she listened intently to the Catholic priest. They pretend the juice is blood, Lydia thought to herself, mortified. Phil gently kicked her on the ankle as he noticed the grimace on Lydia's face in his peripheral.

To her dismay, the crackers and juice were then served to the guests. She watched as people accepted a small cup of juice and one cracker, all making a motion with their right hands afterward. Lydia realized she and Phil were next. She made a feeble attempt at the hand motion but felt terrible knowing she'd butchered it. In an effort to recover, Lydia stood up straight, looked the clergyman server in the eye, and gave a fierce salute. Several whispers were heard throughout the aisles, and the older gentleman stood before Lydia with his mouth open. Phil exasperatedly moved the man along by reaching for his communion.

Phil was right. The ceremony was over quickly—it felt like the blink of an eye. The small crowd began heading outside to their cars to move to the reception held at another location. As Lydia and Phil were among the last to exit the building, they overheard a small group gathered by the entrance. "Who would do such a thing? Leaving a cigarette in holy water."

Lydia gasped, and Phil's face turned white. He grasped her arm and hurriedly pulled her to his car. Phil got in his seat and started the engine—letting Lydia get the door for herself as he mulled over whether his family would ever let him live this down. Lydia broke the silence in the car, "Does this mean you're going minus one to the reception?"