Old Dogs

           They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but in Bill’s mind, most of the new dogs could learn a trick or two from him.

           Bill Baxter, a thirty-six-year veteran with the school board, worked most of his later years as a school custodian. Now, at the age of seventy-eight, his supervisors are asking him to pack it in and retire.

           While most of his friends were spending their mid-life crisis buying fast cars and attempting to date younger women, Bill was spending his nights scrubbing floors, cleaning toilets, and keeping schools clean and sanitized. Unlike his peers, he wasn’t interested in going out partying on the weekends, or for some, during the week; Bill just wanted to build up enough savings so he could enjoy his later years free from financial worry.

           During his twenties, Bill had married a woman named Debbie. Unfortunately, Debbie was only interested in Bill’s paycheck, so once she had sucked his account dry with her frivolous spending, Debbie jumped ship and landed another chump with a large bank account. She filed for divorce and took Bill for half of his worth along with a hefty alimony payment.

           After that disaster of a marriage, Bill vowed never to marry again. At the age of thirty-two, that changed. He met Lisa and swore that she was all he ever wanted in a woman. That relationship lasted seven weeks and ended when Bill caught Lisa with his best friend, Louie. Apparently, Lisa’s feelings for Bill were not as strong as they were for Louie. From then on, Bill swore off women altogether.

           Bill was a carpenter by trade, but the industry had taken a nosedive when he turned forty. The company he worked at for twenty years had decided to lay off half of the workers, and Bill was one of them. He tried to use his skills and find work on his own, but the economy was struggling, so his work opportunities continued to dwindle. He needed to find something else, and that was when a friend had mentioned that the school board was hiring.

           He printed off a resume listing all his experience, hoping they could hire him into the maintenance department, but when he went for the interview, the manager stated that only custodial jobs were currently available.

           Bill had no experience in custodial work, but the manager insisted that experience was not a necessity, and he would need to be trained anyway. Bill thought it over for a moment, then decided to take a chance. One week later, he received the call and was asked to arrive and the training centre at 7:00 AM to begin his orientation.

           As he pulled into the parking lot, a handful of men and women between the ages of eighteen and thirty, stood near the entrance. Bill joined them soon after and introduced himself. The eighteen-year-old chuckled under his breath as he looked Bill up-and-down.

           They began their orientation with a PowerPoint presentation discussing the expectations of a school custodian. It was followed by various safety slides and videos. Bill watched as the eighteen-year-old, named Hank, was texting on his phone during the presentation. He hoped deep down that someone would spot Hank and center him out in front of everyone, but as the slideshow ended, Hank slid the phone back into his pocket undetected.

           Bill wasn’t a computer expert by any means, but he managed to successfully complete the few tasks that were assigned to him at the orientation. He felt that it was simple to do, although it took him longer to learn than the rest of the group.

           He began his custodial career as a casual custodian, or floater, as they called them. He was assigned to various schools to fill in for other permanent custodians who were off with sick days or vacation time.

           His first day was at a high school. When he entered, Bill found the main office, and introduced himself. The secretary called over the P.A. system for the head custodian to come to the office. He arrived moments later and brought Bill down to meet other members of the team before taking him to the section that he would be cleaning.

           After meeting the other custodians, the head custodian, Steve, asked the whole team to meet him in the school chapel for a brief meeting. Bill followed along and took a seat in one of the chairs. Steve stood up at the podium in front of his workers, opened a bible that laid upon the podium, and then spoke.

           “It is tradition at our school that we begin our workday with a prayer, and I would like to ask our newest member, Bill to come up to the podium for a moment and read a passage from The Bible.”

           Feeling very anxious, Bill stood from his chair and sauntered up to the podium. Steve pointed out the passage of scripture that he wanted to be read. Bill could feel his face turning red. He had no idea that working as a custodian would require him to get up and speak in front of people. It was way outside his comfort zone.

           Bill began to read when one of the custodians asked him to speak up. He cleared his throat and began again, speaking louder. When he finished the verse, Bill left the podium and sat back down. Steve returned to the podium and thanked Bill for a wonderful job before informing him that he was now initiated into the craziness that is custodial work.

           Bill was confused at first, but then Steve explained that whenever a new person starts at his school, the guys play a practical joke on them to break the ice. Bill was relieved that he wasn’t going to have to start every day like that, and he now felt much more comfortable in his new position.

           Steve then led Bill down to the hallway where he was to start his cleaning. He pointed out several doors along the hall and said that he was responsible for cleaning each of those rooms. He then led Bill to another hallway where he opened the door to what he called the “slop room;” a room with a large square sink on the floor, a shelf full of supplies, a chemical dispenser, and a cart filled with various cleaning items. Steve then told Bill that his shift was over, so if there was anything he needed, that Bill should find one of the other guys, and he left for the night.

           Bill looked around the room and he had no clue what to do first. He stared at the chemical dispenser and wondered what each of the chemicals was used for. The first hour of his shift had already passed, and he was yet to start cleaning, so he rushed down the hallways until he found one of the custodians.

           Bill explained that he wasn’t sure how to use the dispenser, so the other custodian, Joe, went to show him quickly. Once he was set up, Bill started down the hall to his first classroom. When he opened the door, the desks were all askew, there were papers all over the ground mixed in with clumps of dried mud, and obscenities written across the chalkboard.

           Bill got to work, and forty-five minutes later, the room looked like new. Only eleven more room to go. Once he did the math in his head, Bill realized that if he spent forty-five minutes in each classroom, he would run out of time before his shift ended, and that didn’t even include his dinner break, so he tried to pick up the pace in the next room.

           The next room was done in thirty minutes, but at that pace, he still wouldn’t have time to eat, so he tried desperately to go faster. When dinner time came around, Bill quickly gobbled down his food and rushed back to his area. Thirty minutes before the end of his shift, Joe asked him if he had washed his hallway yet. Bill wasn’t even aware that was part of his area, so Joe offered to grab it for him for the first night if he would just mop the edges.

           As the crew was standing by the time clock at the end of the night, they began to ask Bill why it took him so long to finish. Bill started listing off all the things he was doing in each classroom: sweeping, emptying the garbage cans, vacuuming the carpets, cleaning the desktops, straightening the desks, cleaning the chalkboards, and mopping.

           His coworkers began to laugh, and when he asked them what was so funny, they explained that some of those things were not necessary every night. They told him what could wait and be done as “extra work” occasionally and would only be done in one or two classrooms per night, not every classroom. Bill felt relieved at the good news. He didn’t think his heart would survive the constant running every day like he had that night.

           As the years passed, Bill’s skills improved, and his work became more of a routine. He had a permanent school and knew where everything was. He knew the staff very well, and his body seemed to work on muscle memory, cleaning his area without a second thought about what to do next.

           Eventually, Bill was offered the position of head custodian at one of the elementary schools. One of the evening custodians at that school, happened to be the same person that mocked him the first day of orientation, Hank. Years had passed since Bill last worked with Hank, and when they did, Bill could feel the tension between them.

           As Bill moved up the ladder and had a great rapport with all that he encountered, Hank was on the opposite end of the spectrum. He had several grievances against him from teachers, principals, and fellow custodians, but because he was protected under their union, he still had a job. Bill was going to make sure Hank either improved his work, or he would hear about it. Of course, Hank’s quality of work did not improve. He took several short-cuts just so he could spend time playing on his phone or watching movies on YouTube at night instead of working.

           Now that Bill was in a position of authority, he thoroughly inspected Hank’s area every morning, and if things were not up to school board standards, he would speak to Hank about it that night. If his work still lacked any effort, he would call in the supervisor and the union to help settle the dispute. That was what happened on a Spring Day when the weather was beautiful, and Hank had no excuse for not being able to finish his cleaning properly. The supervisor arrived in the morning and took a few photos of some troubling areas, then he returned that night and inspected them again. The following day, Hank was called down to the board office where he had a meeting about his conduct. They reviewed his past grievances and discussed the multitude of complaints about him being on his phone during work hours, then they mentioned the lack of necessary cleaning in his current area. Before the meeting had ended, the union had to agree that Hank could not be protected any longer, and they had grounds to dismiss him.

           From that day forth, Bill’s days began to improve. His job seemed much more bearable. He was nearly sixty-five by that point, and people were already beginning to ask him about retirement, but Bill wasn’t ready. He was still physically capable of doing his work, so he didn’t feel it was necessary to retire yet.

           Each year, they would ask the same question, and each year he would say no. Many of the custodians who had begun working after he had, and that Bill had trained, were now retiring before him, but Bill still refused.

Now, at seventy-eight, Bill had finally agreed to end his career as a school custodian and submitted his retirement papers. Within hours, nearly every employee of the board who had ever worked with Bill had heard the news. They began to send emails, phone calls, text messages, cards, and gifts to congratulate Bill for his long years of dedication.

The retirement party was massive. There were more people wanting to attend than what they had space for, so it was extended into a two-night event. People who had retired or quit years earlier came back just for the party. There was even a write-up in the local newspaper about his life and career.

Bill dipped into some of his savings the second week after his retirement, and he booked himself a flight to Australia, a place he had wanted to visit his entire life. The trip was to take place in less than a month, and Bill was super-excited. He bought new luggage because this was the first trip he had taken in over forty years, so his previous luggage was slightly outdated.

On the day before the flight, Bill had met up with a few friends for drinks, then he headed home to get some rest before the long flight Down Under. In the morning, the airport limousine arrived as scheduled and the driver rang the doorbell to announce his arrival. No answer. He rang it again, followed by three sharp raps with his knuckles, but still nothing. The driver removed his cellular phone from his pocket and called Bill’s number, but nobody picked up. The driver could hear Bill’s phone ringing through the door, so he assumed something was wrong and called the police.

When the police arrived at Bill’s house, they also tried to get Bill’s attention, but nobody came to the door. They began to circle the house, peering through windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. All they noticed, were his suitcases set by the front entrance. One of the officers forced open the door and they entered.

After searching the house, they found Bill’s cold body beneath the covers on his bed. A coroner was called in and his body was removed and brought to the morgue. After an examination, the coroner determined that he had died peacefully of natural causes.

Bill’s funeral was larger than his retirement parties. Cars were lined up for blocks, and the funeral procession had to cross several intersections at a time. Bill had made a lasting impression on the lives of so many over the years, and everyone wanted a chance to pay their respects.

All of Bill’s family had passed away before him except for his brother’s son, Andy, a twenty-year-old who wanted to be just like his favourite uncle, Bill, so he applied with the school board as a custodian. He wanted to be remembered as his uncle was, but he insisted that he would retire while he was still young enough to enjoy it.