THE NIHILOCYTE

My name is Neelam and I am 19. How do I look? If you have to know I’m very tall, brown, have waist length hair and wear occidental dresses. I may not be a great good-looker but I merit an appreciating glance at my features when you see me. I qualified summa cum laud as a biochemist and work for a hospital analysing body products such as blood etc to identify diseases. I came across cases of suicide and while I could understand their frustration in life I decided to study if there was anything in for example, their blood which could drive them to take their lives. The word suicide evokes many sentiments. People say these could be prevented by counselling. But is there a cause for it?

I have studied that blood had constituents like erythrocytes, leucocytes and thrombocytes. I did a voluntary study of the blood of suicide attempts and found a new constituent which I called nihilocyte. This was identified only in those who attempted suicide. I concluded that the presence of nihilocytes in blood indicated the tendency to take their own lives. I had made a new discovery!

I wrote a paper on my findings with all proofs and deductions and case histories of people who had attempted to take their own lives and sent it to a premier medical periodical for publication. It took 3 months for them to return my thesis saying my conclusions were presumptuous and hypothetical. I felt disheartened. I had thought my findings were fit for a Nobel award since such work had been done by no one else as far as my knowledge went. However I was determined to pursue my study of the nihilocyte. I kept track of cases and accumulated statistics to support my theory. I decided to wait till I had data on 100 cases of attempted suicide.

I live in an apartment in a multi-storey apartment block. And in the flat above mine there lived Jay with her parents. Jay and I were the same age and had been friends since early school. She had gone into law and worked for a law firm. She had Dick as her boyfriend who worked as a ground engineer for an aircraft firm. He was handsome tall and fair. He was extremely fond of athletics and would be found in competitions such as running races etc. When I was introduced to him he told me how he had only recently run in the Athens marathon and had won a prize. He told me about his experiences in Greece. He was very nice to talk to.

I asked him if he couldn’t find a berth in an Olympics team.

He said “I’ll be nowhere compared to stalwarts. I only participate in athletics to keep my shape and for preserving health. I’m also a member of the yacht club. I swim well and have won prizes in swimming at school and college. When I get a holiday I’ll be at the yacht club. You should come and watch the yacht races.”

Dick was also one of those who had given me blood for test and writing my thesis. It was in my archive besides those of some of my kin.

Jay told me “Neel, my parents have approved my wedding with Dick. It is likely to take place around Christmas. I’ll come and invite you.”

“Where will you go for your honeymoon?”

“Dick says he wants to visit Athens again. He is keen on showing me the museum and the pieces he is greatly in praise of. We’ll go there unless he again chooses a different location.”

“I wish you all the best.”

Meanwhile I tried to promote my theory of nihilocytes. I sent my thesis to a lab in Israel where it received a more sympathetic treatment. They said ‘It is no doubt a pioneering study worthy of emulation. However more evidence is needed to establish the hypothesis.’

Though I sent my thesis elsewhere it didn’t merit recognition. I was disappointed. Then I got an invitation to speak at a university in Ireland. I went there and was again rebuffed. I spent a couple of days visiting their hospital where I made the acquaintance of two nurses from India. I believed what was said popularly said: That nurses from India work everywhere in the world where there are established hospitals!

Returning, I did not go back on my resolve. I approached a foundation which granted funds for research. They replied they would grant the money if a team was formed to pursue the research. I immediately set about the mission but in the process I nearly lost my job! I was told that unless I gave up such research activity and concentrate on my job I would have to quit. I thought it over. I was in a permanent position in a prestigious hospital with a good record. I knew I should concentrate on my job and cease to look to satisfy my whims and fancies. 

Jay’s wedding came about and I was in the gathering. I was introduced among others to Dr.Noriko a neurosurgeon from Japan. She had a very poor knowledge of English and it me a long while to tell her what I was interested in. She mistook me and said she would communicate my interest to the psychiatrist in Osaka. I duly received an email from a Dr.Sugano who said ‘Very interested in subject. I was in St.Louis and in the conference much importance needs counselling. Cases specialty counsellor Dr.Sakaba who counselled Japan’s atomic leak patients case is now in Kampuchea and is going to Bhutan. He will give you details and you can contact him. Very grateful for your kind inquiry. My noble salutations.’ I was really at a loss to follow what was being communicated!

Dick and Jay returned after their honeymoon. They came to me and thanked me for my presence at the wedding and for my gift of a silver chain set with an emerald.

Jay said “Neel yours was the best gift I received. The green of the stone matches the new honeymoon dress which Dick says suits me so well. We’ve brought you this painting from Greece. It is a reproduction of the famous sculpture Faun by Praxiteles. The original is of marble. We hope you like this painting.”

 I looked at the large painting showing a naked youth leaning on a tree stump.

I thanked them for the gift saying it looked very nice. I really liked the painting.

A month later, my father was ill. He was diagnosed as suffering from lung cancer. Ten days later his body was fished out of the lake which housed the yacht club. He had decided to end life instead of suffering. I had his blood details. He was niphilocyte negative! I was surprised. Could somebody have murdered him? Or did he really take the plunge? Or was my theory incorrect? I who was dreaming of global fame and the possibility of a Nobel sat wondering about my hypothesis!

END