Next time.

He was right there. 

His eyes glared deep into my soul. 

I stared back, scared to move. 

I heard the yelling from his friends at mine. 

And the yelling from my friends to his. 

I was silent. 

He was silent. 

He was right there.  

Why didn't I speak? 

I had the opportunity.  

To say all the things I never did. 

But I couldn't speak. 

I wanted to. 

I needed to.  

Why didn't I speak? 

Why didn't I scream? 

Like all the times he screamed at me.  

Like his friends were. 

Like my friends were. 

He used to scream until I cried.  

Use his words against me. 

Why for this one time, I had the opportunity to; finally scream back. 

Why didn't I scream? 

Why did he still make me feel weak? 

The look in his eyes was terrifying. 

The look in my eyes was scared and weak.  

He sat with a strong demeanor. 

I stood there trembling, scared. 

The yelling on both sides only made him smirk or glare harder. 

The yelling made me tremble and flench. 

He was so strong.  

And I couldn't be. 

Why did he still make me feel weak? 

Why was I still scared of him? 

He was in a car letting his friends protect him. 

My friends were there and people were watching.  

He couldn't do anything. 

I knew that he wouldn't try anything here. 

He couldn't touch me.  

I wouldn't let him touch me.  

He wasn't moving or speaking.  

But I stood there shaking.  

Why was I still scared of him? 

He had hurt me. 

Backed me into walls. 

Raised his hands in a threat.  

While I backed up trying to calm him. 

Screaming until his voice was hoarse. 

While crying till I couldn't anymore. 

Theranted me with his dark words. 

And I believed every ounce of those threats. 

He had hurt me.  

I could have hurt him back.  

I could have run over and slapped him like he slapped me. 

Made him beg to stop like I would. 

All the times I was unable to move stuck underneath him. 

I could have made him scared like I was and pinned him down not letting him move until I was satisfied that is what he did. 

All the times I cried terrified of him. 

I could have made him cry this time scared of me. 

I could have hurt him back.  

I had become stronger, so why didn't I do anything? 

He would not have been physically stronger this time. 

I would have been able to fight back this time. 

I knew how he moved, because of all the times I was threatened by his moves. 

He had no idea how I moved, I had always just taken it. 

I had a fighting chance. 

I had become stronger, so why didn't I do anything? 

It was the way he looked at me. 

The way his eyes seemed to stare into my soul.  

The way his lips curled up into a devious smirk. 

The way he stayed silent staring directly at me. 

I could see in his eyes he knew I was scared. 

He looked at me like he was going to hurt me all over again. 

He looked at me like he knew he had power over me. 

It was the way he looked at me. 

So why didn't I do the same?  

Why didn't I glare back? 

Why did I stand there looking down? 

Why when I looked back up at him did I have tears welling in my eyes? 

Why would I show him that he was effecting me? 

It just made him feel powerful. 

I should have stood up straight.  

Glared back. 

So why didn't I do the same?  

Next time he is right there. 

I will glare this time deep into his evil soul. 

I will move closer and be the one to make him scared. 

He will hear the yelling coming from my mouth to him. 

No one else will. 

I will not stay silent. 

I'll make him be silent. 

Next time he is right there. 

Next time I will speak. 

I will take my opportunity. 

I will say all the things I never did. 

I can speak. 

I want to.  

I need to. 

And, 

Next time I will speak. 

Next time I will scream. 

I will scream how he used to yell at me. 

I will scream the way my friends did at his. 

I will scream how his friends screamed at mine. 

I will scream until he was crying like I did. 

This time I will take my opportunity and I will finally scream. 

I will use my words like blades against him. 

Next time I will scream. 

Next time he will not make me feel weak, instead, I will make him feel weak. 

This time the look in my eyes will scare him. 

This time he will look scared and be the one to feel weak. 

I will stand with a stronger demeanor than he ever did. 

This time I will be the one yelling, I will be the one with the smirk of knowing I finally had power. 

This time I will be the one that is strong. 

And this time he will not be able to feel strong against me. 

Next time he will not make me feel weak, instead, I will make him feel weak. 

Next time I will not fear him. 

He will have no one to protect him against me like I had no one to protect me against him. 

He won't be able to do anything. 

But I would be able to. 

He wouldn't be able to start anything. 

But I could. 

He would never be able to touch me again. 

I will never let him get close to touching me ever again. 

He will not move or speak. 

But I will. 

And this time he will be the one shaking. 

Next time I will not be scared of him 

He will never hurt me again. 

He will never back me into another wall. 

He will never raise his hands at me again. 

I will never back into a wall trying to calm him again. 

He will never scream at me again. 

He will never make me cry again. 

He will never have another chance to use his dark words to threaten me. 

And I will never believe one of those threats again. 

He will never hurt me again.