Not a Single Cloud

Clouds all tell a different story.

Instead of books or written stories on the internet, I find my interest in clouds. I know that doesnt sound logical at all but I just seem to understand the clouds better. Clouds have different shapes, colors and vibes. They seem much easier to understand than people. Who needs people anyway when you can just stare at the sky all day. Every moment I'm not preoccupied, I find myself staring at the sky. In class, In a car, Or when I'm at home. My eyes just naturally gaze at the little cotton looking shapes in the sky. So.. you could imagine my surprise when the skies were clear as day. Not a single cloud in the sky. Nothing. Just a clear, light blue sky. Of course this doesn't seem like such a big deal to a few people but to me this was life changing. For once, I didn't catch myself slowing changing my attention to the sky anymore, I paid attention in class, and I actually answered a few questions that I knew of. Even my teachers were surprised by my sudden attention and participation in the middle of the school year. There was this girl who sat next to me, I never remembered her name. She looked at me with slight curiosity before eventually speaking to me. This was the first time anyone in my class ever attempted conversation. I guess her name was Natalie. Though I was taken aback at first, I slowly realized this wouldn't last for long. The clouds would come back and my attention would slowly move towards them again. Those clouds. Those clouds would catch my attention, pulling me further and farther away from society. Of course this did not sadden or surprise me at all, she most likely talked to me because it was the first time i've spoken, so my guess is that once i start distancing myself, she wouldn't talk to me again. Just for today. The day ended and I was sitting alone in my room, like usual. I stared at the stars, a bit disappointed. There were no clouds today, but there will be tomorrow. This will all be over tomorrow. Or so I thought. The next morning was the same. No clouds. None. Of course this really surprised me, I never paid attention to the weather so I wouldn't even know what this is called or why this was even happening. I stared at my legs hidden underneath my blanket, trying to comprehend what was happening. Slowly, I left my bed, making sure I was alive in the first place before calming down and getting ready for the day. Friday. Today is friday. I don't need to worry about anything else but getting through the day. Of course this wouldn't have been an issue if I wasn't dealing with new experiences I wasn't used to. The moment I got to school, a few people waved at me. This would've been normal if I had known them , but I didn't. The only people I know in this school are the principal and the nurse, maybe a handful of teachers as well. I got through the whole day with no other weird attempts at social interaction until my last class, because Natalie was there. She waved and said hello, sitting down next to me as usual and trying to start a small conversation. Though I was what people considered the shy girl, I never answered in full sentences, only nods or simple “Yes or No”s. It wasn't until Natalie asked to hang out with me after school that it really caught my attention. With me? Of course I didn't disagree since I had no reason to say no. Once school ended Natalie brought me to many different stores and food stalls, this was all new to me. All I did all day was Stare at the sky or occasionally make flower crowns when I'm out in an open field, watching the clouds. Once she was done with her spree, she turned to me, speaking in a quiet tone. She asked me.. 

“Next time we hang out, let's do something you like.. Kay?” 

Of course, I had no clue how to react so I just simply nodded and went home. Night again. I stared at the sky, the empty sky that was now dark and full of clouds.. I fell asleep. The next morning, The clouds were finally back..! Finally.. Everything would go back to normal and people would go back to disregarding my existence. School again. I walked into my last class and sat down. I stared out the window, as usual, watching the clouds pass and fade out of my view, that was until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I didn't expect to see Natalie again, she whispered to me as she spoke, asking to hang out again today as well.I agreed. But after that she didn't speak to me for the rest of the class and I just stared out the window. Class ended. We got up, we talked, though Natalie did all the talking, and then we paused. She looked at me and I looked at her, a bit puzzled. She reminded me of what we were doing today and I just  fiddled with my fingers. I didn't know how to tell her all I liked doing was staring at the clouds. I very quietly told her that what I do isn't very fun, I just stare at the clouds. She nodded and we walked to one of my favorite spots to watch the clouds. We sat down and my attention was slowly pulled to the clouds once again. My attention snapped the moment Natalie spoke again. She told me something I thought I'd never hear. 

“I'm going to die.. Very soon.”  She said while looking at the sky with a smile. 

Then she started crying. She told me that she was diagnosed with a very rare cancer. Something that exactly was not curable. She told me, she spoke to me because she sat next to me the whole year and she never knew my name. She never wanted someone to be singled out and alone like how she felt. She felt she wasn't very.. Normal. She then sat up, wiping her eyes and turning to me, a smile once again on her face. She told me she liked looking at the clouds too, though it didn't seem like it since she was crying. I slowly nodded, speaking quietly to her and trying to make her feel better, though it failed. So we just talked. She laughed and I smiled. We hung out for the rest of the school year, and I no longer depended on the clouds to entertain myself. Though I still do occasionally sky gaze and watch the clouds when I'm free. Natalie was admitted to the hospital at the end of the year and I only see her on the weekends. She eventually went to a different hospital and I never saw her again. I like to think she fought the cancer and is somewhere living her best life. But I guess I'll never really know. As I look up at the sky now, I notice something. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Not A Single Cloud.