Dry January

        Doug walked into the office on the first Monday of January, feeling rough and regretting the fact that he had to be back at work so soon after New Year’s. To be truthful, he still felt the effects from the party. They hadn’t actually gone to bed until the Saturday morning, and yesterday had been spent in a drunken haze: strained sleep, feeling queasy, regretting the lunchtime tacos. Doug could still feel his stomach lurching, and every now and then, a wave of nausea overcame him. Why did he always have to drink so much at the New Year?

        The firm where he worked was a company that outsourced transport data for a large number of different companies. To make a long story short, his job was to sit at a computer and input data. It was boring, but it was what it was. He worked in an open space with four other people.

        He sat down at his desk. He was a bit early but wasn’t the first to arrive. Nadine was already sitting at her desk, sifting through a pile of papers. She didn’t look up as Doug sat down. He swivelled in his chair and glanced at the clock in the corner: 8.57 am.

        “Hi Nadine,” he said casually waving at her. She glanced up for a brief second, and nodded to him. “Happy New Year!” he continued cheerfully.

        “Yes,” she mumbled. “To you too”. Doug completed a revolution of his chair and grabbed the desk to stop himself, regretting his idea to spin. He glanced over at Nadine again. Her shiny black hair was in a tight bun, as usual, and her face was pale, with just a touch of make-up. Nadine was shy, and hardly ever spoke. She just went through the workday, minding her own business.

        “Tea?” Doug asked getting up. She glanced up again, and very lightly shook her head. He made his way over to the coffee and tea station, usually stocked with all sorts of different types of tea, but today it was empty. He looked around helplessly. A few feet away, he spotted Stan, one of the cleaners. He looked at Doug and shrugged.

        “New policy,” he said. “Management thinks we spend too much time drinking tea. If you want tea, you gotta bring it yourself.” He pulled out a bunch of keys and walked away, slapping Doug on the back as he went. “Happy New Year mate.” 

        Dejected, Doug returned to his seat. Nadine had disappeared, but Geoff, Katie and Daniel were all present.

        “Happy New Year guys!” Doug said enthusiastically when he saw them. They all greeted each other, swapping party stories, all deploring the fact that they had drunk too much.

        “I can’t believe they’ve taken away our tea privileges,” Katie complained. “That’s got to break some kind of rule, no? I could murder a cuppa! My throat’s so dry!”

        “I know what you mean,” Geoff said. “I’m definitely still hungover.”

        “You know,” Dan said. “I heard about this thing: Dry January.”

        “Oh yeah,” Katie interrupted. “I’ve heard of that too!”

        “Yeah well, it’s this thing where you don’t drink for the whole of January. It’s supposed to have lots of benefits.”

        “Yeah I dunno,” said Doug. “Sounds a bit sketchy.” They all laughed with him.

        “I know I could use a break from the old booze,” Geoff said. “I might do it.”

        “Why don’t we all do it?” Katie suggested. “We could help each other out.”

        “Yeah, why not,” Doug said, his stomach definitely thinking this was a good idea.

        Nadine came back at that moment and sat down, just as Katie spoke.

        “Ok then, it’s decided. We’ll all do Dry January.” She glanced at Nadine. “Are you going to it with us, Nadine?”

        Nadine looked over to see all of them staring at her.

        “Sorry”, she said. “Do what?”

        “Dry January,” Doug said. “We’re not going to drink for the whole of January. It’s supposed to have loads of health benefits.”

        Nadine looked confused.

        “No drinking? For the whole of January? Really?”

        “Yeah, come on, do it with us!” Doug said.

        “I’ll see,” she said, looking down.

        “Oh come on,” Doug insisted. “It’s an office thing, let’s do it together!”

        “I don’t know,” Nadine replied quietly.

        “Doug,” said Katie. “If she doesn’t want to do it, leave her.”

        “No no,” Nadine said, going slightly red. “I’ll do it with you guys.”

        “Great!” Katie said smiling. “It’s decided, this office is now a Dry January office.”

        The rest of the workday was uneventful. Doug left at 5pm and headed out into the cold street. As he walked towards the Tube station, he noticed just how many pubs there actually were. They all looked warm and inviting. A pint sounded so good right about now, he thought. But he thought of Dry January, and his stomach lurched. He put his head down, and walked on.

        The next day, he arrived at work at 9 am as usual, and sat down at his desk. He felt rested and relaxed; his head was clear and his stomach felt much better. Doug wasn’t exactly what you would call a heavy drinker, but he usually had a pint or a glass of wine most days of the week.

        Katie arrived a minute later and sat down. She looked somehow more colourful than usual.

        “I feel great!” she said in lieu of hello. “I think this Dry January thing is already working!”

        “I know what you mean,” Doug replied. “And it’s just been one day.”

        Geoff, Dan and Nadine arrived a minute later. Geoff and Dan looked similarly elated, but Nadine looked somewhat subdued, more so than usual.

        “How’s it going?” Katie asked them. Geoff and Dan raved on about how good they felt, and didn’t know why that hadn’t done this sooner. Nadine didn’t say much, just that she wasn’t feeling very well. The others all glanced at each other, but shrugged and turned to their work.

        The rest of the day passed as usual, some laughing, joking, and carrying on. When it was time to leave, Nadine was quick out the door before any of the others had even finished putting their coats on.

        “Wow, she looked rough,” Geoff said, nodding his head towards the door Nadine had just exited through.

        “Yeah,” Doug said, thoughtful. “You don’t think she’s struggling more than we thought with this Dry January thing, do you?”

        “Nah,” said Dan. “I don’t think Nadine is much of a drinker. She’s probably just sick or something.”

        “Yeah,” Doug said. “You’re right. Well, let’s go. Shall we-,” he paused, and they all looked at each other, knowing full well Doug was about to say ‘head to the pub?’

        The awkward moment passed and they laughed it off.

        “Old habits die hard,” Katie said. “I’m going to a fitness class.”

        “Part of your resolutions?” Geoff asked.

        “It is,” Katie nodded. “No booze, and more exercise!”

        “Sounds depressing!” Dan laughed.

        They all said their goodbyes and left.

        Doug walked down the street, passing the Grey Horse Pub as he walked. He stopped outside the door, hearing laughing coming from inside. He could hear a fruit machine jingling. They would usually have headed to the pub after a day’s work. He sighed and walked on. What was wrong with him? It had only been two days. Surely, he could go a few days without a drink. It was just a habit, he told himself.

        He went home and switched on the telly, flicking through the channels looking for something good to watch. Nothing caught his fancy. He felt restless. He wanted to do something. He wasn’t used to being home this early, even on a weekday.

        He called his friend Matt to see if he wanted to play a game of FIFA or something, but Matt said he was at the pub with some work friends, but that Doug could join them if he wanted. Doug begged off without going into the reason.

        He called his friend Adam.

        “Hey Doug, what’s up?” Adam said. From the background noise, it sounded as if he was standing in the street.

        “Fancy coming round to play FIFA or something?”

        “Yeah mate,” Adam said. “I’ll just stop by and grab some beers and I’ll be at yours in twenty minutes or so, alright?

        “Actually, Adam, I’m not drinking at the moment, I’m doing the Dry January thing, you know, no booze for the month.”

        “Oh are ya? Brave of ya mate.”

        “Ok, so I’ll see you in a bit then mate,” Doug said, about to hang up.

        “Wait, Doug?”

        “Yeah?” he asked, with a sinking feeling.

        “I’m sorry mate, I completely forgot, I’ve got to see Ben about a work thing later. It slipped my mind mate, sorry. But I’m up for a game, but it’ll have to be another day I’m afraid. I’ll let you know mate, ok?”

        “Sure Adam, see you then.”

        Doug hung up, wondering if his friend had intentionally ditched him because there wouldn’t be any booze, and what that said about Adam, and about himself.

        The next day was Wednesday, day three of Dry January. Doug arrived at work, feeling well physically, but a bit down. He was still feeling strange about Adam’s reaction the previous evening. He sat at his desk. He was the first to arrive. Shortly after, Katie arrived. She smiled at Doug, but she was walking gingerly.

        “What’s up with you?” Doug asked.

        “Fitness class was a nightmare! I’ve got aches and pains everywhere. I’m telling you, that coach was a sadist!”

        “Serves you right for exercising!” Doug laughed, just as Dan arrived. He looked his usual self, but Geoff, who came in a few seconds later, looked horrible. His face was puffy, his eyes red with bags under them, and his hair looked the worse for wear.

        “Oh my God,” Katie said, then laughed. “You stink of booze! Did you even go home?”

        “I lost it guys,” Geoff. “I got a call from a mate; he was going to party with live music. I thought I’d get away with just a coke or something, but the battle was lost as soon as I stepped foot in that place. Barely thirty seconds in, I had a rum and coke in my hand. From there, it was an easy fall into the second and third drink. I went to bed at five this morning. Sorry guys!”

        “Oh man, I’m almost jealous,” said Dan. “I sat at home staring at the TV bored out of my mind last night. I just wanted to go out.”

        “I know what you mean,” Doug said, and he told his story about what Adam had said. They agreed that it sounded fishy.

        “But at least you stuck to it, Doug, not like me,” Geoff said.

        At that moment, Nadine walked into the office. She looked terrible. Her face was grey, she was dragging her feet and looked as if she was about to pass out. She stumbled her way to the desk and sat down. Everybody stared at her.

        “Nadine, are you ok?” Katie asked. Nadine just shook her head. Her lips were cracked and very pale. “Nadine? What’s going on?”

        “I don’t know if I can do it,” she whispered, her voice hoarse.

        “You should see a doctor,” Katie said. “Come on, you can’t work like this. I’ll call you a cab, go home, rest.” Nadine didn’t try to struggle. She simply got up and allowed Katie to go with her.

        “Remember to drink plenty of fluids!” Doug called after her. To his surprise, both women turned and glared at him.

        A few minutes later, Katie had returned, and the first thing she did was punch Doug on the shoulder.

        “Ouch! What?”

        “You insensitive prick!” Katie said.

        “What?” Doug said.

        “Can’t you see what’s going on?” Katie asked. The men all looked confused. Katie sighed and continued. “She obviously an alcoholic and she’s going through withdrawal symptoms.”

        There was a pause as Doug, Dan and Geoff considered this.

        “But that doesn’t make sense,” Doug said. “When has anyone ever seen Nadine drink?”

        “But alcoholics tend to hide it when they drink don’t they?” Katie said. “She saw that we were all doing Dry January and she thought she might as well give it a try. This explains a lot. That’s why she always mumbles and never looks at us directly. She’s too scared we’ll know!”

        “She never smells boozy,” Geoff said.

        “Well you do!” Katie replied, wrinkling her nose.

        “I dunno,” Doug said, not convinced.

        “I’m telling you! That’s what it is!”

        They spent the rest of the day debating on Nadine's potential alcoholism, but Doug remained unconvinced. He just couldn’t see it. Nadine was always perfectly well groomed, and people who tended to drink a lot usually weren’t in his experience. Something wasn’t right.

        When he walked to the tube that night, he had no desire to stop at the pub this time. His thoughts were still on Nadine. They had never really interacted much, but they had worked together for the better part of four years. He had never seen her looking so awful. He knew she lived not that far from him, in an old block of flats. He had been there once, because she had asked him to bring over some office supplies she needed before going on a seminar or something.

        He decided to swing by her place, just to see how she was.

        He reached the flat and rang the doorbell. There was no answer, so he rang again. It wasn’t until five minutes later that Nadine finally opened the door.

        She looked even worse than that morning. She looked as if she could barely stand up. Her eyes were wild and it seemed as though she could barely focus on him.

        “Nadine?” said Doug, instantly worried. He grabbed her and carried her over to the sofa. “What’s wrong? Have you seen a doctor?”

        She shook her head. He noticed yet again that her lips were dry and pale. Her face looked gaunt and sallow. He let her rest on the couch and got up into the kitchen to grab some water. He brought over the glass and handed it to her, but to his surprise, she shook her head.

        “No,” she croaked. “I can’t.”

        “What do you mean you can’t?” he asked.

        “I’m doing that thing like you guys. Dry January.”

        “But this is just water,” Doug said. He looked at the glass. “Did you think this was vodka? Oh my God, Katie was right! You’re an alcoholic!”

        She sat up and stared at Doug.

        “No I’m not. I don’t drink alcohol.”

        “What? Why are you doing Dry January then?”

        She stared at him, tears coming down her face now.

        “Dry January is for alcohol?” she asked quietly.

        “Yeah of course, what did you…?” He glanced at the water in his hand. “Oh,” he said, and then laughed, which was quite the wrong thing to do. Nadine burst out crying.

        “Dry January is for alcohol!” she wept, almost screaming. She grabbed the glass from Doug’s hand and gulped it down so fast, that Doug barely saw it. Nadine laughed hysterically and pushed the glass back at Doug. “More!” she yelled.

        She seemed so demented that Doug dared not disobey. He quickly got her another glass of water, then another. It wasn’t until four glasses later, that Nadine calmed down enough to talk. Doug sat on the sofa beside her. 

        “I’m such an idiot,” she said quietly, holding the empty glass. “You said Dry January, and I don’t drink alcohol at all. I thought it was no drinking at all, not even water. I don’t know what I was thinking. Everyday I saw you guys looking better, and I just kept feeling worse and worse, and I couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t get my head around it. I felt like I was going to die.” Tears streaked down her face again.

        “But Nadine, surely you know you can’t live without water?”

        “I don’t know. I suppose I knew that, but I didn’t know how long. Maybe a month without water was possible. Oh God, I’m so stupid.”

        “No you’re not,” Doug said. “Honest mistake.”

        “It’s not! It’s so obvious now that you were talking about a drink drink, and not just any drink. It just didn’t even cross my mind! A month without alcohol is so easy I didn’t think anybody would see it as a challenge.”

        “Well, you know, some people might,” Doug said now, feeling slightly triggered.

        “Yes, well people who struggle with alcohol addiction I suppose but not anybody else.”

        “I’m not an alcoholic,” Doug said quietly.

        “Oh gosh Doug, I never said you were. Wait, are you have trouble not drinking?”

        “No, I- No, of course not.”

        “Oh I’m going to be the laughing stock of the office. I’m so dumb!”

        “No, listen to me Nadine. You were sick that’s all. No one else needs to know about this, ok? Just, keep drinking water!”

        Nadine brightened.

        “You would do that for me?” she asked.

        “Of course,” Doug smiled. “Everybody makes mistakes.”

        “Do you want to stay for dinner? I’ve made some lasagne. There’s plenty. I’ll even open a bottle of wine. I can make an exception. Please, to thank you?”

        “What about Dry January?” Doug asked.

        “Oh, fuck Dry January!” Nadine said, and Doug laughed.

        “Well, when you put it that way,” he grinned, and he pulled two glasses from the cupboard, and uncorked the wine.

        Nadine was right. Fuck Dry January!