Dear Dr M Cavannagh
As the head of a small archaeological team assigned to the Stratford-Upon-Avon site, I am writing to ask for your assistance in verifying the contents of a manuscript my team has unearthed in the recent excavations.
The manuscript was discovered within a refuse site and I have sent the original to the laboratory for analysis and dating.
Attached to this email is a transcription, maintaining the original spelling and punctuation, along with my own translation. It is my belief that this is a draft for a deleted scene in the play, Romeo and Juliet, and may offer proof that there were indeed several authors contributing to the works attributed to Shakespeare.
I would appreciate your professional opinion on the original transcript and the translation provided.
Sincerely
Dr K Marlowe
———————————————————————
Friar Lawrence
(for ease of reading each second stanza is the translation, ye olde English is italicised and uncapitalised.)
***
a warning h’re f’r those who is’t wilt p’rsist.
poor iambic pentamet’r and rhyming couplets
abound this prose beyond these ast’risks.
thou art f’rewarn’d, readeth at thine own risketh!
A warning here for those who must persist.
Bad Iambic pentameter and rhyming couplets
Abound this prose beyond these asterisks.
You have been warned so read at your own risk!
***
aye me! f’rsooth mine heart beest full with woe
the teen and burden weighs me with s’rrow
and all mine own weary soul doth caterwaul
valorous within wilt beest responsible.
Aye me! In truth my heart is filled with woe
The pain and burden weighs me with sorrow
And all my weary soul does cry with shame
The good within me must to bare the blame.
i be friar first and f’remost, toes to tonsure
these vestments shalt protecteth from censure.
bethink me blameless, free from all disgrace
this somb’r aspect hideth anoth’r visage.
I’m friar first and foremost, toes to tonsure
These vestments shall protect from all censure.
All think me blameless, free from all disgrace
This somber aspect hides another face.
f’rgive me mine own fault, f’r i has’t sinn’d.
absolve me from rem’rse yond lies within
a pitt’d dull reflection, unf’rgiving
deny this last requesteth of the living.
Forgive me for my fault, for I have sinned.
Absolve me from remorse that lies within
A pitted dull reflection, unforgiving
Denies this last request from me, the living.
reflection, from this coile, wouldst thou absolveth
the guilt and shame yond daily press resolveth?
F’r doth thee knoweth the secret, mine own sooth
yond mine own handeth wast culpable f’r sineth?
Reflection, from this coil, would you absolve
The guilt and shame that daily test resolve?
For do you know the truth that must be hid
Whereby my hand was culpable for sin?
the haunt’d eyes, mine own, pe’r in t’rment.
ill-s’rt’d choice madeth valorous intent
pray, striketh mine own evil from this handeth
wash’d crisp, as only god’s f’rgiveness can.
The haunted eyes, my own, peer back in torment.
Ill-sorted choices made with good intent
Pray, strike my evil doing from this hand
Washed clean, as only God’s forgiveness can.
the fault is mine and mine high-lone to beare
Mine own guilt be great, yet still nay guilt to share.
f’r i hast did play a fooleth in tragedy,
the flight of cupid’s bowe with agony.
The fault is mine and mine alone to bear
My guilt is great, but still no guilt to share.
For I am played a fool in tragedy,
The flight of Cupid’s bow with agony.
mine own sin most wondrous, i weareth the sin of pride,
f’r mine own sins, two star-cross’d lov’rs died.
e’en though mine own heart is shatt’r’d by the deeds,
the endeth, it seemeth, doth justify the means.
My sin is great, I wear the sin of pride,
And for my sins, two star-crossed lovers died.
E’en though my heart is shattered by the deeds,
The end, it seems, has justified the means.
unit’d anon in lamentations deep,
the montegues and capulets shall weepeth,
to seeth desire and lighteth extinguished
thine children thou has’t did love, anon lay dead.
United now in lamentations deep,
The Montegues and Capulets will weep,
To see their hope and light extinguished
Their children they had loved, are now laid dead.
on pedestal of justice proclaim to thee
self righteous mine own eff’rts, pray pardon me.
upon themselves, this tragedy wast hath brought
with feudal foes, the families hadst fought.
On pedestal of justice I proclaim
Self righteous in my efforts to explain,
Upon themselves, this tragedy was brought
With feudal foes, the families had fought.
the fing’r of censure is did point home
and noticeth not the shaking of mine own.
one fing’r pointing out accusingly,
three fing’rs rightly did point backeth to me.
The finger of the blame is pointed home
And notice not the shaking of my own.
One finger pointing out accusingly,
Three fingers rightly pointed back to me.
first mov’d wast i, in wanteth of m’re to read,
to mine own doth’r, romeo cameth to pleade,
and i, po’r fooleth, didst heareth the w’rds of love
from lips didst springeth, as if ‘t be true to prove.
First moved was I, in want of more to read,
When to my door, Romeo came to plead,
And I, poor fool, did hear the words of love
That from his lips did spring, as if to prove.
“good friar, heareth, mine own heart is wonneth,
mine own loveth is like a light yond is the sun.”
“oh? hast the fair rosaline succumb’d to thee?”
“nay, fath’r, doth not speaketh h’r nameth to me!”
“Good Friar, hear me, sir my heart is won,
My love is like a light that is the sun.”
“Oh? Has the fair Rosaline succumbed to thee?”
“Nay, Father, do not speak her name to me!”
and liketh the knave yond still that wast within
did glow and did praise the nameth of one f’rbid.
t’was juliet, h’r house a capulet,
and begg’d of me to did wed h’r to his name.
And like the boy that still he was within
He glowed and praised the name of one forbid.
T’was Juliet, her house a Capulet,
He begged of me to wed her to his name.
i quell’d mine own doubts and fain acquiesc’d
a secret marriage bed, willing i did bless
and on their way to wedd’d bliss, i hath sent them.
the first transgression b’rn of valorous intention.
I quelled my doubts and gladly acquiesced
Their secret marriage, willingly I blessed
And on their way to wedded bliss, I sent them.
The first transgression born of good intention.
then beastly blooding bubbl’d from the hilt
the blood of tybalt accidentally did spilleth.
through feather-bed secretly cousins beest,
such cousinly loveth, tybalt wast not to seeth.
Then beastly blooding bubbled from the hilt
The blood of Tybalt accidentally spilt.
Through marriage secretly they cousins be,
This cousinly love, Tybalt was not to see.
from fair v’rona romeo wast hath sent
his life I did save from sentences of death.
but love can not existeth without it’s heart
in living, loving, lusting far apart.
From fair Verona Romeo was sent
His life was saved from sentences of death.
But man can not exist without his heart
In living, loving, lusting far apart.
and h’re is wh’re i wilt in sooth digress.
‘tis f’r mine own soul yond duly i confesseth
mine own knowledge of the plants and h’rbs i owneth
is such yond all the prop’rties i knoweth.
And here is where I must in truth digress.
‘Tis for my soul that duly I confess
My knowledge of the plants and herbs I own
Is such that all the properties I know.
f’r some healeth and some harmeth ‘tis said
yond some can faken both, and mimic death.
the learning of this f’rbidden beldams’ry
is knowledge not did obtain commonly.
For some can heal and some can harm ‘tis said
That some can fake them both, and mimic death.
The study of this forbidden witchery
Is knowledge not obtained quite commonly.
f’r with this knowledge, secretly did acquire,
the solution cameth to me, as such did inspire
to feign a death liketh slumb’r, so to removeth
a bride from wedlock wh’re th’re wast nay loveth.
For with this knowledge, secretly acquired,
The solution came to me, as such inspired
To feign a death like slumber, so to remove
A bride from wedlock where there was no love.
success involv’d a complex strategy,
a lett’r to beest hath sent without peize
alloweth romeo returneth, his bride arouses
then neith’r to returneth unto their houses.
Success involved a complex strategy,
A letter to be sent without delay
Let Romeo return, his bride arouses
Then neither to return unto their houses.
a planeth so neat, so crisp t wouldst not vexeth.
but v’rily f’rsooth, what hath happened next?
a beshrew did delay most unexpectedly
and w’rd wast hath heard yond death cameth suddenly.
A plan so neat, so clean it would not vex.
But verily in truth, what happened next?
A plague delayed most unexpectedly
And word was heard that death came suddenly.
though juliet f’rsooth sleeps feigning death
so slow’d down wast h’r heart within h’r breast,
and thus planeth, po’r romeo unknowing,
f’r such a lett’r hath lost, yond wouldst beest showing.
Though Juliet in truth sleeps feigning death
So slowed down was her heart within her breast,
And thus a plan, poor Romeo unknowing,
For such a letter lost, that would be showing.
po’r romeo, so fraught, so w’rn, despairing,
to fair v’rona that gent hath returned, uncaring,
to witness of the death with his owneth eye
and by his v’ry handeth wast liketh to die.
Poor Romeo, so fraught, so worn, despairing,
To fair Verona he returned, uncaring,
To witness of the death with his own eye
And by his very hand was like to die.
the tomb doest gape young h’ro hast hath returned,
ill-met within didst findeth a husband spurn’d.
engaged, enrag’d, exsufflicate, eyeless eyes
oh heateth and blood hast slain- paris dies!
The tomb does gape young hero has returned,
Ill-met within did find a husband spurned.
Engaged, enraged with empty, eyeless eyes
Oh heat and blood has slain- Paris dies!
the vilest substances f’r evil doing
art oft times apothecary brewing
the smallest tincture touches lips intent
then death is the destroyeth’r and lament.
The vilest substances for evil doing
Are often times apothecary brewing
The smallest tincture touches lips intent
Then death is the destroyer and lament.
i gage unto the l’rd i hath tried to halt
the vileness of death within the vault
but i, lamenting, curs’d am cometh too late
f’r romeo, sweet knave, hadst hath met his fate.
I swear unto the Lord I tried to halt
The vileness of death within the vault
But I, lamenting, cursed am come too late
For Romeo, sweet boy, had met his fate.
and curs’d wast i to waken juliet
with w’rds nay lov’r ev’r shalt f’rget
the young mistress shalt not f’rgive this sir
tardy wast that gent with message from h’r
And cursed was I to waken Juliet
With words no lover ever shall forget.
The young mistress shall not forgive this sir
Tardy was he with messages from her.
afraid f’r mine own life, i didst away,
the madness of h’r grief, i couldst not sway.
and death cometh to gentle breast at lasteth!
so heavy sits the guilt ’pon this po’r heart.
Afraid for my life, I ran away,
The madness of her grief, I could not sway.
And death came to your gentle breast at last!
So heavy sits the guilt on this poor heart.
So, f’r mine own sins of trying to assisteth
love’s path, to smooth a way of least intermit,
valorous deeds aplenty, to death belongeth
prayeth, nev’r tryeth to right a wrong with wrong.
So, for my sins of trying to assist
Love’s path, to smooth a way of least resist,
Good deeds aplenty, now to death belong
Pray, never try to right a wrong with wrong.
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74 comments
Hahaha, all right, own up - where on earth - or elsewhere - did this come from, Michelle? It's so good on every aspect and level you can think of. I see myself reading it again, at least, to catch all the nuance of this gift you have given us. Stunning creativity and expertly realized concept. And, beyond the wowness here, I enjoyed reading every passage. Thanks for this offering, Michelle. You can write! And, I must join forces with Wally and say I, too, am giving this a rating of TOO, as defined below. Love it.
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Haha, Thanks Susan, this came from crazy! I started with the idea of someone who tried to do the right thing but epically failed, and came up with the Friar from Romeo and Juliet. When I started writing his story, it just sounded wrong in modern vernacular, so I went down a long slippery slope of Shakespearean inspiration. Somewhere along the way I left my sanity, so I will have to venture back and retrieve it at some point.
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So much good comes from crazy - I should know, I was raised on the phrase; you don't have to be crazy but it helps. You sure proved that to be true here. Bravo, and stay just a little nuts - it seems to work! Happy for you!
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Wow! Bold choice, and so well executed in iambic pentameter and rhyming couplets. I especially liked 'ye olde English' italics and then translated! 🤯 Just like Hannah, I had marked down this as my favorite: Then beastly blooding bubbled from the hilt The blood of Tybalt accidentally spilt. (I'm a sucker for triple-alliteration ... give me some "beastly blooding bubbled") I didn't realize that the prologue was added later. Loved it. And on top of all the technical mastery and creativity, it was a meaningful take on a side character in La...
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Thank you Geir. It was a bit of a mad undertaking. I loved the triple alliteration too and the iambic pentameter was a bit fudged around the edges! I’m glad it all worked for you and thanks for taking the time to read it and leave a response.
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…wow. I’m surprised my brain didn’t explode. :D A great story, even if it was a bit harder to understand. (Although that’s partly why it’s so enjoyable) :)
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Thanks Lilah
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Lilah, I think my brain did explode just a little bit
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Hehe. Mine might have too… just a little bit :)
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