Love and Jealousy

Love and Jealousy, two superficial words that exist in your mind to make you crazy. What is love? love exist only to break your heart. Don't get me started on jealousy that will only drive me crazy.

How can two simple words hurt so much? Here is the answer in one word, Hudson. Now you must be wondering who Hudson is. Hudson is a guy I've known my whole life. You can say he's my best friend.

Me and Hudson spent a lot of fun times together doing stuff as friends like going to the movies, playing video games, going out to eat and so on. During our time together I started to develop feelings, very strong feelings for Hudson, but I knew in my heart Hudson would never feel the same way about me that I felt for him. He just sees me as his friend.

You know it's always hard to keep your feelings a secret especially from friends. Rylee, my other best friend found out about my feelings for Hudson. She encouraged me to tell Hudson. I told her I couldn't. Then one day jealousy reared its ugly head.

Hudson had a new girlfriend. I couldn't say I was hurt because it was my own fault I didn't Hudson my feelings for him. What I felt was incredibly jealous and my jealousy affected our friendship.

I stopped hanging out with Hudson because I couldn't stand being around his girlfriend. Hudson didn't understand why I was acting the way I was. Hudson cornered me one day after school and asked what was wrong with me. I backed away from him and left.

A few days later Hudson found out the truth. He confronted me and asked me for the truth. I told him how I felt for him and what he told me next hurt me so much. Hudson said "I only see you as a friend nothing more." Our friendship was ruined but my jealousy remained.

Everyday I saw Hudson and his girlfriend holding hands and kissing and everyday I wished that was me. In my heart I knew it will never be. I was never the same person after Hudson found out.

Our high school graduation came, we celebrated long into the night. Me and Hudson just said hi to each other that was all. After that night we went our separate ways. We never spoke again. My jealousy always remained.

Five years later

My career has skyrocketed to heights I never imagined. I've been on the best sellers list for two months. I couldn't be happier but I never forgot about Hudson.

Hudson is a football star for the New York Giants. I'm so happy for him. His dreams came true that's all I can wish for him. I followed his career since college and I always known deep in my heart that Hudson was destined for great things. Hudson has come full circle.

But yet that pesky word jealousy is still here. All the newspapers and magazines I read have pictures of Hudson with various women and I can't help but be jealous once again.

I wish I wasn't. I wish I can learn to be Hudson's friend. I wish I didn't have any feelings for Hudson but I do and they haven't gone away. I hate that word Jealousy, yet that word is inside my soul. It's been there for the last five years.

Hudson

Jealousy is a word I have lived with for the last five years ever since my friend, my best friend Shay walked away from me. I can't begin to tell you how much fun we had together. Those times with Shay I will always cherish.

Shay was the kind of person you can always count on. She was a sweetheart. When she backed away from me, I didn't understand why and Shay wouldn't tell me. That hurt so much. Then one day I found out the truth. Shay had feelings for me but I already had a girlfriend.

I confronted Shay and asked her for the truth and she told me the truth. My next words hurt Shay I know that. I told her I only viewed her as a friend noting more. Our friendship ended that day. Shay was my rock and I have missed her so much. I never knew how much I missed Shay until she wasn't in my life anymore.

Shay's career has been incredible. I read all her books. I'm happy for her. I knew she make it. Shay always had a passion for writing. Thinking about Shay has gotten me wondering if I should get in contact with her.

Jealousy, that word is still there and floating everywhere in my head and in my heart. What if Shay is still jealous of the women around me? Then contacting her will be a waste of time.

I have to find a way to tell Shay she doesn't have to be jealous that she never needed to be jealous and everything that happened is my fault. Shay was always the one. I just never bothered to see it. I pray it's not too late for me.

Now how am I suppose to get in contact with Shay? I think of so many ways to get in contact with Shay and one keeps coming to my mind. Writing a letter to Shay maybe my only hope in getting her back.

Shay

How do I overcome my jealousy? Do I go to Hudson and tell him I'm sorry for everything. I can't just go up to him. He's a football star, one of the very best and who am I besides being a best selling writer. I'm still Hudson's nerdy ex-friend who is still jealous of the women he is with. I'm a romance author. All my books have been about love and overcoming obstacles to be who you are meant to be with.

Have I missed Hudson all these years? The answer is yes. I wish we were still close. I wish I could talk to Hudson about my writing. He use to be so good at giving me advice. But my jealousy and the pain of Hudson's last words to me caused our friendship to end.

You see something else I don't regret , Hudson finding out my feelings for him. I'm glad he found out and I know It was Rylee who told him and I don't care. Rylee was looking out for me, that's what best friends do.

I have so much work to do. I'm outlining my draft for my latest book called Coming Home. I don't have all the details, I will soon. I turn my computer on, check my email and see a message from an unknown sender. I click and begin to read.

"Dear Shay

It's been a long time since I last seen you and talked to you. I watched your career rise to incredible heights. I'm so happy for you. No one deserves it more than you. We've been through so much together. So many ups and downs. So much laughter and crying. I don't know what my life would have been without you, now I know. My life has been great. I assume you know my dreams came true and with that a lot of women came. None of those women did anything for me unlike you. You always had this way of making me laugh and comforting me after a tough loss. I miss that. I miss you. Jealousy is an ugly word and it doesn't fit you. You never needed to be jealous of the women I was with because at the end of the day you're the only woman I thought about. I never realized this until I lost you. I've missed you everyday since I told you those hurtful words. I'm so sorry Shay. I want us to meet so we can talk , put the past behind us and move forward together like we should have done five years ago. I will be at our favorite spot tomorrow at noon. Come meet me."

All my love Hudson

Oh my God! Hudson never forgot about me. He misses me and I miss him so much. I've wanted this for so long. Hudson is right Jealousy is an ugly word. That ugly word has no place in my heart. I want to fix this with Hudson. I want my best friend back and maybe more.

Hudson

I hope Shay reads my letter and comes to Oceans Bluff, our favorite spot. We always came to Oceans Bluff to hang out and escape from reality. What I want from this is to apologize to Shay and hopefully move forward as a couple.

I'm looking out into the ocean when I hear the sweetest voice. "Hi Hudson." I turn around and see my best friend, my everything, the one women I tried so hard to forget but couldn't, Shay. "Hi Shay. I'm glad you came."

"Me too. I read your letter. I thought about you the whole night and this morning and I want to say I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. My jealousy cost us our friendship. I should have been more forthcoming with my feelings for you."

I stop Shay and tell her "I should have realized how much you mean to me. The truth was five years ago I wanted to have fun. I didn't want to be tie down. But in the middle of me wanting to be free I lost the one person who matters to me and that is you. I'm so sorry Shay for everything."

Shay begins to cry. I move to her and wipe away the tears. Shay looks at me with those big beautiful green eyes. "I love you Shay, give me another chance and I promise you I won't break your heart."

Shay

Hudson wipes away the tears from my eyes. He tells me he loves me and wants another chance. "I love you and yes I want another chance with you."

Hudson grabs me and kisses me. This is all I ever wanted me and Hudson together. Finally my dreams of being with Hudson has come true