The False Goddess and the Tree

“Where am I?” She asked.

You decide, think of somewhere you’ve been.

The voice inside of her head said. She tried to move her limbs but they did not respond. 

No. They were not there. Neither was her body. She was whole. She knew all her being was intact but it floated in something. Around her were lights. They swirled around her, riding an invisible current. When one touched her she felt a wave of warmth emanate from the contact. It felt—nice.

Following the command, she thought of somewhere, and shadows came. They danced on the fringes of the light writhing against their natural enemy, but the orbs sped up, not allowing any of the black to touch her skin. Refusing to let her return to the state she had lived in.

Not there, you are not that anymore.

The voice reprimanded her, pulling her from the dark. She reached for the lake of black that shrieked and writhed as they separated. It seemed to be eating itself as the sprites of light spiraled around it holding it in place.

With an otherworldly shriek, the black turned on itself in a contorting mass. The maddening hate from the shadowed sea rolled in waves, a torrent of evil held in place with a shell of swirling white. With some effort, some small slivers of the black fought against the light separating themselves from the mass and shooting towards her like small fish in a current. 

She reached for the darkness. How could she not, it had been a part of her for so long. It had become a second skin, her only friend. If she did not have to then what did she have?

The question scared her as much as the answer.

You need to know.

"No!" She cried out.

That was not something she was ready for. She would never be ready. Thinking about it hurt too much.

Growing is pain. Life is pain. You must remember.

The voice said in an insisting plea, but she refused.

So it carried her away. The spears swimming at her were left behind. She knew they were still out there but could tell where she was going they could not follow.

Reality grounded and she took form. It was old but familiar. So was the room. The acrid copper of dried blood. The stench of the pile of rotting animal skins hanging from the walls. The smells filled her with fear, but the scratching voice that spoke froze her blood.

“Where are you?” Her father said in a withering voice.

She ran.

She thought about leaving. About escaping from the hidden room in the abandoned building. But it was not safe for her out there. She had tried before, and others had found her. Beaten her, and taken her to be sold in the shadows. They should not have done that to her. Why was she being punished?

Her back hit the wall, slicing open a wound in her back. A stream of blood soaked the back of her dress, but she stopped herself from whimpering.

He was coming.

As the silence stilled she knew he walked in. She could not smell his sweat, if she did he was close. He would find her, then worse would follow. 

“Come out here lamb.” He whispered.

She ducked into a hole in the shadows. 

Behind her, something in the dark sniffed her open wound.

“I’m waiting.” He said.

She dug nails into her legs and fought the urge to run. She wished he was just drunk, then she could get away, but after the first time she got away, he never drank enough to pass out.

An idea tickled her mind.

 She was not really there. This was not real.

“My darling? I’m not going to ask again.” He slurred. She could smell him now. 

His breath came in ragged gasps. She could hear the click of him biting his nails. They were worn down but he still chewed them until his fingers bled.

His sweat filled her nose.

“This is not real.” She said willing herself to leave.

“There you are.” He said. His eyes were ice. They were vessels of madness, pools of evil.

“Wake up. Wake up!” She screamed.

His hand clasped her arm. It was gentle but the touch made her want to vomit.

“Come out, I’ve had another vision! I need to share it with you.” He said.

She tried to fight but his grip tightened. He was weak, but she was weaker.

“Wake up!”

No, face this.

“I’ve brought us more canvas.” He said pulling something out and dangling it in her face.

Something wet and hot splattered her cheek. The mangled body of a dead dog dangled inches from her face. He waggled it, face etched with ecstasy.

“We can see them! We can see the gods!” He exclaimed pulling on her arm until it hurt.

She resisted, but he kept tugging until she came out. She screamed as jagged wood ripped the skin free of her leg.

“I need you to see them again!” He insisted. 

When she pulled her arm free he caught her by her hair and dragged her to the table.

“This isn’t real!” She cried.

It’s as real as you make it.

Tears swam at the edges of her vision.

She squealed as he threw her into the table. A bowl full of rotting food clattered to the ground spilling maggots across the floor. She whimpered trying to pull away, but he pressed his body against hers, pinning her to the table.

Slamming the dog on the table a stream of red poured from its cut throat. A tongue coated in white saliva and bulging eyes filled her vision.

“Let me go!” She cried. She could feel his breath on her neck and he pinned her hands to the table. When she moved, he punched her in the ribs, making her double over.

Again in desperation, just like that night, she called out for help. She screamed it with her mind as much as her mouth.

Just like that night, something responded.

The shards of black she had been separated from found her. Her father melted away with the room, creeping back into the recesses of her mind where he still lived. 

No, you are past this! You can be more.

The black sang to her. It wept with her. It bonded with her, caressed her being, removing the hate, and replacing it with the void. 

Wherever they were had weakened it. But in her it was complete. In her it found purpose.

“I am more.” Her essence and the black said. They were one again.

And in being more, you become so much less.

The voice said with regret.

Her form rushed back to her as the world spun.

She fell, hitting the ground. She forced her eyes to open. A man stood looking down at her.

She knew him, but from where?

Why did his face anger her so much?

“You kept some of it…huh.” He said shaking his head.

She tried to speak but she could not remember how.

The weight of her arms returned and she tried to move them. She wanted to sit up. But her body felt so heavy.

“Be still false goddess. You’ve just come back from a place only a few have gone.” He said.

She tried again.

“Be still--listen for once.” He held her down with a rough hand. The anger on his face left for a moment and he sighed.

“The first time I went I could not move either. The sensation will go soon.” He said.

She almost listened, almost laid back to relax for a moment. Then she remembered why she hated his face. He was the reason she was there. He had killed her followers.

“I’m not weak like you.” She said pushing his arm away and sitting up.

Rello took a step back from the girl. She stared daggers at him but he just shook his head and sighed.

“You’re stubborn. In any other case, I might find it amusing.”

She looked around the cavern eying the acolytes as they went about their business.

“And what do you find it now?” She asked.

An elven female acolyte neared with a folded outfit to match his. White, with braids of gold running down long sleeves, a low hem, and a string of leather to fasten the waist with small leather shoes broken in by another.

She placed them on the ground without looking at either of them and walked away.

“I see they have warmed up to you as much as they did me.” He said under his breath watching the woman leave.

She eyed the clothes.

“Don’t change here. There are rooms.” He said.

“I’m not wearing that.” She said bringing her legs into her chest.

“Stop trying to fight this. I hate it as much as you do but when the tree speaks we listen. It said you were coming.”

The girl looked up at the tree. Nestled in the old stalagmites of the ceiling, its thick branches spiraled out of the massive trunk. They shifted as if blown by some unseen breeze swirling about the cavern.

Above her was a swirling sea of green. The leaves seemed to churn at her glare. As they did, a single leaf broke free and spun in the air before spiraling down to land on her shoulder. She brushed it away and when she touched it the echoes of the voice whispered in her ear.

You will be more.