Time

Lucas worriedly glanced around the small park, beginning to panic.

Where had Melissa gone?

“Melissa!” He called, cupping his hands around his mouth. He couldn’t spot the small 7 year old anywhere.

He knew he was an awful father. How could he have not known she disappeared? Was she taken? He had looked away for 2 seconds. It was no wonder she didn’t like him.

They were supposed to be having a fun picnic, something to have bonding time. He was not supposed to lose his daughter.

“Melissa!” He called again, more urgently. He began running in the direction of the entrance to the park, hoping that she had just wandered over, waiting to go home.

“I’m over here!”

He sighed in relief, his shoulder slumping and whole body relaxing. He spotted her sitting on the bench right by the gate, swinging her feet, as they didn’t touch the ground. She was alone, and looked completely unharmed. She looked calm, and happy. Thank god.

Still, even after he had tucked her in later that night and knew she was home safe, he couldn’t help but feel horrible.

Melissa already didn’t like him. What would she think of him now? Now that he had proven himself so irresponsible?

She had liked him in the beginning. When he first met her, they got along great, they clicked beautifully. He planned to adopt her from the start.

But, the second she got the news that Lucas was actually adopting her, that everything had been cleared and set, she began to drift from him. She no longer ran up to him with a huge smile, eagerly presenting her newest drawing for his praise. She no longer showed him her favorite items, the ones she only let her favorite people hold and admire.

He hadn’t figured out why yet, and he doubted he ever would.

Then, after she had fallen asleep, and he was sitting in front of his computer looking at his emails, he began to really think about it.

Maybe it wasn’t that she didn’t like him. He hadn’t done anything horrible or traumatizing. He had met her when she was 5, and up until he adopted her a few months ago, she was nothing but lovely to him. In those few months, the only thing he had really done (that he could think of, maybe there was more?) was picking her up late from school once.

Was it the fact that she didn’t have a mother figure? He didn’t have a partner currently, maybe she thought that he just didn’t fit being a single parent. She was smart, for a 7 year old. She knew that all of her friends at school had 2 parents, and perhaps she thought they got twice the amount of love. Even if Lucas himself knew that he loved Melissa more then anything, that doesn’t mean she didn’t have doubts.

He thought about what the lady at the agency had told him.

“She’s…had a rough time here.” The lady had explained, “She’s already been in 2 other families. There’s never been a reason for her coming back. We’ve never been given one. Not from her, not from her former families. She just….always comes back.”

Was she scared? Did she think that he was going to drop her back off?

He couldn’t even bring himself to entertain the idea, not even for a second. That little girl was his whole world.

She was the sole reason he still got up in the mornings. She was the sole reason he worked as hard as he did. He wanted her to live a comfortable, happy life.

He yawned and leaned back in his chair. The clock read 12:32am. He’d have to ask tomorrow.

~

“Melissa?”

She looked up from her bowl of cereal slowly, cheeks puffed up. 

“You know you don’t ever have to go back, right?”

Her eyebrows drew together, and she put down her spoon to give him her full attention. She continued eating when he stayed silent for a few moments.

“I’m never going to abandon you,” He tried to think his next words out carefully, but he had never been one to plan much out anyways, “I love you. I think of you as my daughter. You’re a part of my family. My family means everything to me.”

He didn’t think it was fair. She was only 7 years old, yet had been abandoned twice, and was terrified of the possibility of a third time. 7 years old, and she had a deeper understanding of a fear no one should ever have to experience.

“I-I-”

He gave her a small smile, before he scooped up her now empty bowl and gently gave her chair a small nudge with his foot, “Go get your stuff, the bus will be here in a little bit.”

She stayed still for a second, before she got up from her chair and hugged him. She didn’t give him time to even reciprocate the hug before she clumsily ran up the stairs to finish getting ready.

He hoped she thought of him as a father. A good one, too. That was what he wanted.

But he wouldn’t push anything. He would just continue to do what he had been. He would try to be a comfort, and do his very best to take care of her and make her as happy as he could.

She probably needed time. Time to fully understand what was happening. To fully understand that no, she would not be going back to that place where she shared a room with multiple other girls. She could stay, and have her own room. She even had her own playroom. It had been Lucas’ old office, but he didn’t really need all that space for a computer and a file cabinet, did he? 

“Mel! Bus!” He yelled, spotting the bright yellow bus coming down the street. 

He handed the small girl a lunchbox as she ran out the door, smiling gently. He froze when she turned, almost to the bus, and ran back to give him another hug.

“Love you!” She yelled, not looking at him.

“Love you too.” He mumbled, stunned.