The exaggerated process of buying a self-help book

It’s been hard on my own. I knew the real world wouldn’t be easy but I never imagined it to be this difficult. The even harder fact of it all was that I had nobody to guide me. Going to college had always seemed to be a decade away. Now here I was, enrolled in classes to become something big. I didn’t know what to do. It was like I was moving with the direction of the wind and the rain. My soul begged for the solution to all of my problems. I would look for it anywhere and everywhere. On Friday, just as I walked into class,  I overheard my Anatomy professor talking about books. Reading: that was something I could get behind. She happened to mention self-help books, and it hit me. If I can’t help myself, maybe some Canadian author with an entire lifetime of wisdom can. Class let out around 4:30 and I considered going to the book store straight after class. I wasn’t sure if I could even afford the book that I supposedly needed. And besides my lack of money, what was it that I even needed? Guidance, yes but what type? What type of book would I even choose? Would it even help me, or just be a waste of money? I called everyone I knew, begging for an answer to the question that was eating my soul: should I buy a self-help book? I paced through my dorm. I even looked through the small selection of books I already owned. This predicament was tearing me apart from the inside out. I cried in my lonesome and screamed at the sky. Finally, after nearly 3 hours of contemplation, hesitation, and emotional quandary, I went. The closest Barnes and Noble was almost 30 minutes away. 30 minutes more to think about this choice. I drove across the slick parking lot, almost turning around 4 times. I mustered up all of my courage and I got out of my car.  I walked into the book store with shaking hands. I knew this really shouldn’t be such a difficult decision. I roamed around the store aimlessly. I saw a few books that caught my eye, none of which pertained to self-help. I sat in the kid’s corner for a while, flipping through children’s books about manners and being kind. I continued to walk around the store aimlessly. And then, there it was. An entire aisle with shelves full of books designed to help you improve your life, no matter what stage you were in. The choice should have been made then, but unfortunately, it was not. I scanned the shelves quickly, nothing catching my eyes. I wasn’t middle-aged, and I didn’t have kids. I was simply a college student in an exponential crisis. I flipped through tons of books about saving money, organizing your house and even improving your marriage. None of them seemed to provide the advice I was seeking for my pointless, yet challenging new life as an adult. I walked away many times, distraught by the difficult decision at hand. I found myself near the in-store cafe and suddenly, I craved a warm coffee. There was part of my money gone, money that was to be put towards my book. I chugged it down as fast as I could. The scolding water burning my mouth as it flowed easily into my stomach. An interaction with a Barnes and Noble worker and a large coffee later, and I ran back through the aisle. I ran up and down them, I did cartwheels and backflips. Then I sat, I sat for a very long time. I sat and waited for the words of the universe to take control of me, and guide me the right way. I picked up books at random and hastily flipped through the pages. So many bright colors, so many different lists. They all seemed like books my mother would read. I called her once more to ask for her opinion. An empty conversation was all that I received. Still, here I was and none of these books were right for me. I look down at my clock and suddenly it’s 8oclock. I’ve been here all day, and all night and still, no book in my hands. I was fed up and tired, my energy was gone. I decided I was done with my journey and this was the end. I gather my things and towards the exit I walked. As if it was made for me, there it was. A huge poster right by the door. “Are you in an exponential crisis?” It read. Why yes, of course, it’s quite clear I am. I read further down as it asked me more questions. “Are you out on your own? Confused about life?”. Yes! Yes, I am! How did you know? I read further down and the poster read “This may help just a little bit.” And right down below it a pile of books: Genesis: The beginning of the rest of your life. The beginning of the rest of my life? I wasn’t sure about that. I picked it up hesitantly and began to read through the pages. So many colors, oranges reds, and blues. And lists just like the other ones, but they actually made sense. They jumped out at me and they sucked me in. I was inside the book and learning all types of things. I walked quickly to the cashier and I scream “this is the one!” I handed her my money and she rang it all up. She put my new lovely book in a shiny blue bag and my excitement overflowed right out of my body. Just like that, the deal was done. I paid $25.69 for 300 long pages of colorful words that would fix my entire life. I did a dance, I jumped around, I sang a song, I was so happy! I called my mom and told her the news. I finally did something a true adult would do. I walked out of the store feeling triumphant and proud of my purchase. Life was shaping up just as it should, all because of this book. Such a small price for such a huge reward. The best day of my life happened in that book store.