Shock

April 12th 2091

Dear Diary,         

Have you ever seen that little cartoon of that person with the angel and devil on their shoulders? Probably not, apparently it’s old enough that only my grandfather has seen it. The idea of having a demon and angel telling you what to do is what inspired the government to implement the technology they did. If it were not for that damn cartoon maybe we wouldn’t be here today. Shock.

Controlled by society the government has gotten strong enough that those in power put a literal devil on your shoulder. A metal horrific looking demon with black metal plating, sharp horns and a forked tail, multiple arms protrude from it so it can deliver a shock while also holding you. It’s attached to your back by surgery and there is no taking it off. It tells you what’s “appropriate and what isn’t appropriate.” Sadly those in power decide that. Shock. Most of the time it isn’t something people enjoy. 

When I walk down the street and look down at my outfit I see what everyone else is wearing, when I write an assignment I see everyone else has written the same thing, when shopping everyone is at the same stores. It’s a world of complete equality determined by societal standards and government desires. Trends will shift from high waisted jeans to low waisted jeans in seconds, from democrat to republican in minutes. However I’d rather stand out in the crowd, look different. Shock.

Everyone is too afraid of their demon to divert from the norm, afterall a 30 volt shock is unpleasant to endure, but I’ve built up a tolerance. I know that as I write this I’ll get shocked multiple times, but I don’t care. Shock. I’ve got a plan. Even though it might be a bit painful and bloody, it's better than having this damn thing stuck in my back for the rest of my life. 17 years and I’m already tired of it being here. I’m writing this so if I die from the process people will know what I was trying to do. 

Being the first to resist society in years is something that not many people have done, Shock, plus the shocks from writing this hurt like… well the devil. 

About my plan, to some of you it may sound horrific, bloody, insane, but I’m going to carve this thing out of my back myself. A sadistic plan devised to get Satan off my back, ironic. Shock. Tomorrow I begin the process.

April 13th 2091

Dear Diary,

I’ve got all of the materials in order to fix my little problem here. Shock. I’ve been getting ready so long my back already hurts, I’ve taken pain pills so hopefully this won’t hurt as much as I think it will. Here goes nothing….

Pain wracked through her body as the knife sliced around hard metal. Having studied up on anatomy she knew where to cut in order to not kill herself by accident. She screamed, but her hand moved on her own. Adrenaline coursed through her body as she was shocked over and over again. Finally she got out the first leg, the metal wasn’t that deep in the body but deep enough that she could bleed out if the wound wasn’t properly handled. 

Dear Diary,

As I write this I think I’m dying, but I’m bandaging my wound to stop the bleeding. At least now the shocks have stopped, and they seemed to get weaker when the leg was almost out. I’m going to wait awhile in the house. Nobody can see that I’ve done this. If one of the patrol-men catches me I’m toast and I’ll either be put to death for disobeying the laws of the higher ups or it will be placed back into my body. I would rather take the first one, that’s why I’ve chosen this. If I go out at least I will make a splash and perhaps finally change things. Shock. Looks like they started again. I’m currently looking out the window wondering how they managed to come up with a type of shock that doesn’t ruin the body. The brain couldn’t possibly take that much damage from shocks. It’s like the government has been messing with our bodies more than we might realise. What is inside of me. Shock. This pain and these thoughts might slowly be driving me insane. I cannot live in a world like this. I know nothing but one thing, I’m not staying in this world with this devil on my shoulder. This can be my blaze of glory so to speak. 

April 20th 2091

Dear Diary, 

It’s finally time to take out the second leg, I think I’m ready physically but perhaps not mentally. If the pain doesn’t drive me insane then I’ll get back to you. Hopefully… Shock.

Blood flowed from her back as she cut herself. Chopping out the leg as easily as cutting butter. I’m sure the neighbours could hear her screams. Yet nobody came to her aid, she didn’t want to see anybody. According to the case she had stayed locked in her room for months while planning this. How disturbing it is to read this diary, to be forced to describe the pain this seventeen year old went through. That was her last entry. She ended up dying from blood loss and shock. She was found a month later when neighbours complained about some smells coming from her apartment. The patrol-men were the ones to find the body. Her back was so cut open that you could see bone, her demon was nowhere to be seen. I’m just a newspaper writer but I think she was right about some things. Completely insane, but smart. Those are the ones that the government likes to cut off at the bud. The smart ones who are willing to do anything to escape their control. Even if it means their own death. I believe her about government technology. Something is going on here and I’m not sure what it is. Reading this diary has made me feel insane. All her thoughts infect my mind like a virus being passed on through a cough. Now it’s all I can think about. I believe her, even if it’s a conspiracy by a kid. Something about the way she writes, it draws you in, but being drawn into the mind of an insane person isn’t something you want to do. I can’t stop thinking like this. It needs to stop, it needs to stop, it needs to stop. I can make it stop. Shock, Shock, SHOCK.

Bang.