Leave the hardships behind

As I flap, my wings catch the cool evening air and push it back. This is my second year flying south, but unfortunately I don't get to be upfront with Frace, our flock leader. He is one of the older birds, but age only makes him better. He’s always ready for adventure, always ready to help. Last spring he even gave me a ride on his back, when my foot was sore. Sometimes I forget that he wasn't the one, who I had hatched from under…

Ahead is a grove of skyscraping poplars and that means we are about to land for the night.

Thank goodness, I can't be the only one exhausted and starving. A calm lake surrounded by meadows and pines will appear at any minute. The flock comes here every year, since it’s one of the safest stops on the way. 

I sigh to the thought of it, when to the right there is a flare, that blinds me for a second. Then another one, and one more. They seem man-made and they certainly weren't here last year. 

I know Frace loves the quiet, but i can't help it:

“What's that?”

“Buildings, Nesdie”, he answers.

“But where is the meadow? How are we going to shelter?”

“Well, live to the next day and leave the hardships behind”, he laughs, “but there’s some greenery ahead. We’ll work it out”.

We start descending and the buildings beneath us grow into giant silver rectangles. And the former meadow is now covered in lines, in roads even. Straight, flat highways, leading into the fields. Chopped off abruptly before turning into a lawn. I had never seen that before. Well, least the lake is still here and we are heading right to it, when there is a whir. A crescendoing whir, that turns into a roar. Frace darts to the side, carrying the flock behind him. 

“Down!” he yells, as wings and feathers turn into one big chaos and I find myself spinning uncontrollably until there is a smack. Feet on ground, grass beneath me, I run. Run for the bushes and only now do I notice a ringing engulfing me. I throw myself forward and the leaves close behind me. 

When the ringing finally fades and my body comes back to life, it's dark and the only thing throttling my mind is my missing flock.

As the morning sets in, I peek out of the bushes. Ahead is a field and only the silver building domes over the flatness. A gush of air sweeps through me, landing a gray feather at my feet. It's just like mine...

The surroundings seem clear, so I stick my head out further: 

“Frace!” my voice glides along the grass. “Mother!... Anyone?!” 

Then there is a whir, I duck back into the bush, and as the sound gets louder a figure starts moving in the distance. It's long, white and when it leaves the ground, it flashes its pair of sharp wings.  

“Hey”, there is a quiet voice. I turn. A sparrow is chilling on the branch above me.

I nod.

“What, ya’ haven't seen one of those?” she asks.

“Have you?”

“Which age do you even live in?” she giggles. “Those guys have been around for ages. They're super spooky in the air, but really cool in the ground. Here you can do whatever you want with them. They're just like one of those ol’ buildings… And why are you so sour? Ah, anyways… Come, take a look”, she nods. 

“You mean...?”

“Yeah”, she takes off towards the buildings. 

I meekly follow, my eyes still darting in caussion. I’m all sore, but I flap. And as we get closer, the figure emerges: streamlined, majestic, but still. 

The sparrow lands on the wing and the figure stays silent, so I land too. My feet touch the cold surface. 

“It’s quite the giant”, says the sparrow. “Good thing you survived, huh?”

My eyes narrow with suspicion.

“This is the critter that took down all ya’ mates. The way ya’ guys were flying...man… it’s a miracle you're still here”, she flickers her wings. “Okay then, I’ll leave this guy to you”.

As she flies away, I stare into the cold surface under me. If this ingot took down my family, I need to take it down. 

My beak slams into the wing. And I already regret it, for my eyes are about to pop out from the impact. I am no woodpecker, and unlike the time Frace told me not to pound on the tree, I am not going to deny the fact. There must be another way. How about the eyes? My gaze glides across the long row of see-through ovals. Here we go! I push off and smash myself into one. But bounce back with a groan. I try the next one, and the next, until my head can’t take it anymore. So I spread my wings and slowly glide to the lawns. 

When I land, another gust of wind rushes through me, throwing more and more feathers in my face. I look down to escape the thoughts, but even that does not save me. Right in front, glaring at me is a foot. My head goes spinning as my eyes focus: webbed toes, dainty nails. I gape, while my soul sinks into the darkness. Every single member of the flock flashes through my mind, while I stare… and I notice myself getting cold, damp, then wet, until I seem to be soaking. There is a sound. It’s like a voice, a call even, that forms into a:

“Hey-o!”  

I look up — deep grey clouds, heavy drops of rain, pounding at me at a sharp angle...and amongst the twirl of dry leaves and mist there’s a flock.

“Hey-o!” the call repeats and a good fifteen birds land beside me. 

“Fella, what are you up to here?” one of the strangers comes right up to me.

“I-I…”

“Come on, shake off your feathers and let’s go!” he shouts above the wind. “We need to hurry, before the storm gets too wild”.

“No, I… I need…— ”

“You need to come with us!” the leader insists.

“I can’t leave, I can't, I…”

“Deno!” yells one of the others. “It’s really time, either take the guy or leave him, but we gotta get going!”

“Mate, listen”, Deno steps closer, “I am telling you. You come now, or you fly alone to nowhere and I advise you to do the first. Now come on”.

I take a breath and before I know it, I’m in the air. The cold drops flick off my wings with every flap. The image of the foot stays stuck in my mind, but I follow the new companions.

As of tradition the flight is quiet and by the time we land, it is almost dark. It’s a lake with an island in the middle, barely big enough for the flock to shelter. I huddle up and as I fall asleep, the soreness seeps through to my very core. 

The next morning is a brighter one, though my body and mind are still aching. I stretch my legs and nod a “good morning” to the leader, who is coming towards me.

“Well, a very lovely day it is… Deno”, he bows.

“Nesdie”.

“A pleasure. Now tell me, Nesdie, what was the matter with you yesterday? My honeys could hardly fall asleep last night, trying to figure out what happened. But you were napping so deeply, that we didn’t bother”.

“I…” my eyes drop to the ground. “I lost my flock…”

“I thought so. And where’s the last place you saw it?”

“No, not that…” my droops. “I lost them. Really lost them…”

“Oh… gosh...h-how? All of them?”

I nod:

“They got taken down by one of those flying ingots… Have you seen those?”

“Ingots? Oh, they are killers!” Deno shouts with despise. “You fella have been through a handful. No wonder you seem so down. Come and eat”, he guides me to the bushes. 

After munching for a while alongside the flock, I find Deno’s eyes again. 

“They’re really killers…” I sigh.

“Sure are”, he continues eating.

“Yeah, you know, we need to do something…”

“You mean…?”

“I mean do something about them”.

“Oh, mate, I wouldn't bother. We’ve lost a few birds to them and there’s no way we can stop them from taking over the sky. We can only dodge them”.

“Seriously, that’s it?”

“I mean, what can we really change?”

“Yeah, what can you do?” interrupts one of the other fellows.

“I… dont know”.

“So lax”, he spreads his wings.

“I don't know yet. But we can try, think at least. Aren't you willing to look for ideas at least?”

“Look, the only way you can take an ingot down is by flying straight into the spinning barrels on the wings, but then you’re dead, and still no guarantee of killing it, so nah, the humans have taken over. No use wasting your time”.

“But it killed my family! Right in front of me, and almost got me too! My leader, my parents, my friends!”

“Hey listen, fisting the water will not bring back the drowned, so leave the ingots alone and come back to sanity”.

I sigh, ready to collapse through the ground.

“It's no easy deal, but I am sure you will move on”, says Deno. 

Days pass, locations change, conversations flow, but I’m not close to healing. 

Another quiet night. We’re at a lake and, as usual, I seem to be the only one awake, when there’s a shuffle. I raise my head. Silence. I huddle back into my wing. Another shuffle. Some steps. A plop. 

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!” a yell bangs my eardrums and everybody hustles, trying to get away. 

This can't be happening. Not again!

A wing shoves me to the side and I push the ground away from me soaring into the darkness. As the yells and clamours fade I find myself above some houses. Too risky to land, so I continue flapping.

When dawn kicks in, fields appear beneath me, but there’s no need to descend — no one to descend to, no one to descend with. 

Forests, lakes, hills pass beneath, but my wings are on autopilot carrying me to nowhere or whatever comes after. 

Suddenly, to the left there is a flash. A subtle, quick one, but I notice. I tilt my tail and move towards it — an ingot. A small, whirring ingot, gliding through the air. It’s slow, close, and I’ve got nothing to lose. 

My tail twists, sending me in its direction, headed for the wing. Aiming for the barrels. Here we go! I grit my beak, but the ingot darts to the side. Still feeling my body and the lightness of the air, I change trajectory. Now I'm the one chasing. “Barrels, barrels, barrels” says my ‘radar’. But before I see the absence of them, my wing flicks the metal. 

The reckless vortex sends me down, spinning me uncontrollably. 

Thwack! I smash into the earth and silence. Only a hard thumping in my head lets me know I'm alive. The whir fades in the distance and I lay here motionlessly. 

A subtle pressure appears on my wing. Then the other one, and I am gently lifted. As my body presses into soft fabric, my eyes focus on a face with brown eyes gazing back at me. My wing is piercing with pane, but i don't try to flee the firm, but calm grip. 

Soon we approach a house. The man yells something and a woman appears at the doorstep. She answers, hurries inside and comes back out. When they both lower themselves onto the ground, the woman slowly takes my wing. I jerk with a scream, but as I restle, the man starts to hum. It vibrates though me and with the man’s gentle strokes I relax. Before long I am let down onto the grass. I move my wing, but it is firmly stuck to my side. I try with my beak, but the ropes are too strong. I sit, my head turned to the humans, while they stand there, watching. 

Several sunsets I spend in that yard. Every morning I get some seeds, water and some long warm humming from the man. I had never heard humans do that so gracefully and soothingly. My wing slowly heals, but it's still tied to my side, until one evening I get picked up again. Within a few brief strokes it is released. I stretch it out the stiffness and flap, sending bunches of dry leaves up into the air. The humans make some sounds and carry one with their gaze.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a “V” in the sky. That same “V” I used to be a part of. And even though it’s full of total strangers,I take a breath, send you a long honk, spread my wings and take off. As I climb the sky, I stretch out even longer. And i feel light again, though I’m full of memories.

The events of those days I will never forget, but they’re the past, for as the great Frace used to say: live to the next day and leave the hardships behind.