Only one chance

With every sound of the door opening, Emily’s heart stopped for a second. Every time she lifted her head and stared at the door with the hope that the person for whom she was waiting for finally came. But then with a deep sigh, she continued reading the menu while hesitating if she made the right decision to come. She hasn’t seen her dad since her parents got divorced, she stayed with her mom, and her dad left with another woman.

She ordered a big cup of herbal tea to get warm. She came earlier so she didn’t want to sit there without any drink, food, or company like a freak. Her feet were getting cold from the frosty breeze crawling from the door. It was a snowy winter morning and the only thing glowing through the snowstorm were shop signs, traffic and street lights, and last but not least, thousands of little shiny Christmas lights surrounding the city. The snow was creaking under the legs of people courageous enough to step out of their houses in such weather.

„Hi Emily, “, said the man standing on her left covered in clothes as if he was headed to the North Pole. Emily didn’t even notice him coming while she was gazing through the window adorned with rime. "You came… Hi” Her dad joined her by the table. They were both looking around the place and trying to think about something that wouldn't sound dumb to say at that moment.

He was tapping his fingers on the wooden table when Emily interrupted this endless and excruciating silence "So why did you want to meet after all this time, dad?". He knew he deserved that harsh and confused tone of her voice. “I…” his voice cracked “I want to be a part of your life. But, of course, only if you want me to”. It sounded more stupid than in his head. He didn’t know what he was doing when he decided to call Emily and ask her to meet him to talk. And he was almost completely sure she wouldn’t even answer the phone, not to say that she would agree to come to this vintage café. And she had all the right to do so.

He knew he screwed up their relationship badly when he left with Josie when he and Emily’s mother got divorced. Emily was just 11 years old. At first, he was visiting her every weekend, then every other weekend, then only once a month and at some point, he stopped seeing her completely. The only thing he kept on doing was sending her birthday and Christmas cards.

He watched her and he could tell by her face that her brain was on fire. “I’m sorry I’m confused. You know, it was a long time ago that we even spoke.” She took a sip from her tea and got her tongue burned a little but she didn’t even notice. Every kid wants to spend time with their parents. But what should anyone do in a situation like this one? To run out of the place and slam the door? To reproach him for what he did, for all those times she cried because of him? To refuse his offer and not to let him in her life when he finally wants to be there for her? Or … To forgive?

“Are you sure you want this?” she sighed because she remembered vividly how many times his actions caused her sorrows “Because if you are not completely sure about this then there is no point in even trying” She predicted what he would say. Of course, he wants to become a real dad now. That’s what he’ll say. But will he keep his word or will it end the same way as it ended 6 years ago? Nobody can tell her what is going to happen. Nobody can predict if her dad will truly change. But it isn’t right to not even try because she is afraid of a letdown, tears, anger, or sadness that might come.

She looked at his dad, but he could tell by her eyes, her beautiful amber eyes, that she is willing to meet him again. He pulled himself together and answered decisively “I moved back here to Prague. Me and Josie. We got an apartment just a few minutes by bus from here. Yes, I’m sure. I wouldn't come here if I wasn't.” He caught a slight smile on her face and that made him even more determined. Never could he lose his little girl again. The guilt for abandoning her was ceaselessly expanding. He tried to chase away those thoughts, waiting for what she was going to say. 

“One chance,” she said and started putting her coat on. “If you’ll screw it up again, that’s it, no more excuses”. She pulled out an agenda from her bag, asked her dad for a pen, and quickly wrote something. Then she said the last thing and walked out to the snowstorm “Friday, pick me up at 7 p.m. Don’t be late.” She came back from the door as she forgot something. "And Merry Christmas" she added, now with a soft smile on her face and danced away.

When she got lost in the tangle of people rushing with their heads pressed to their chest, he just sat there for another 10 minutes with his mind full of hope. He put his cap on and walked down the street. There was a family, parents with two kids, one girl and one boy, all holding each other’s hands. The girl was almost too alike his daughter, Emily. All these memories from her childhood started to come back. Her first words, their first Christmas as a family, him trying to teach her how to ride a bike … 

A big tear flew down his cheeks red from the cold. But it wasn’t a sad tear. At least not completely. Even though he was walking in the opposite direction than her daughter, he knew that soon their paths will cross again. And everything will be okay.