"And You Thought I Was Dead"

While walking down the street towards the Clamor Estate, my home, I stare up at the sky, the dark sky that almost seems like a blanket of the night that’s sprinkled with stars. I stare ahead of me again and lift my hand, resting it over my right eye, palming the eye patch over the socket, sniffing as my Black Tea-Cup Fox ears bend down as my Black tail sways slowly behind me as I walk slowly, a gate in my step as I drop my hand back down into my pocket, palming the pack of cigarettes in my pocket, contemplating smoking one, then shaking my head, I don’t need one and I know it’s bad for me, my brother did want me to stop after all. I drop my head to stare at the cold pavement, light barely touching it front the dim lamps that are spaced out enough to give light, but not enough to really do much in the darkness of night.

I sigh, remembering it all like it was yesterday, but it wasn’t, it was years ago when I was fourteen, now actually be twenty three, my dad, if he was alive, would be fifty six if I remember correctly, I wish he was still alive despite what all he did to me, I wish I didn’t shoot him, but it was out of self defense, and I might’ve not been alive if it weren’t for what I did, perhaps my brothers would be dead too. I know I shouldn’t miss him, but damn, I really do, I miss my dad, he’s still my old man, no matter what.

I swear my life right now is a waking nightmare, I can’t sleep without thinking of the way his body fell limply after I shot him, the gunshots ringing out always echoes in my ears, the scream of pain from both my brothers while fear sinks in that they’ll die, but they won’t, I didn’t know that though, they’re broth alive thankfully.

To see my father again, despite everything, would be the only thing to make me smile again, I wish I was his little boy again, I was I was fourteen and his Little Teacup again, but he’s gone and I’m the head of the Clamor Household, a burden I wish wasn’t on me, it fell on me at too young of an age, dealing with it now seems almost too easy, but I wish it wasn’t… Because I don’t deserve it and I am no Johnathan Clamor, that is my dad.

Staring ahead again I stop, holding my breath, I’m seeing a ghost, I have to be, or maybe I need to get my eyes checked as the red glittering eyes stare at me from the darkness, the shade of red only a Clamor can get. As he walks into the light his smile is just as happy as it used to be when he was in a good mood, the smile would put under a spell anyone daring to love such an Aristocratic man as John, his black and white suit fit him just as it did all those years ago with his longish black hair now having gray streaks as a gift from age, he looks good for being in his fifties, just like anyone in this family would and should.

I feel a tear slip down my cheek, not stopping at my chin though, maybe mid cheek, but whatever the case it, it feels as though time has stopped.

“Kale… My little boy, my Little Teacup, all grown up now…” He says, his voice is low like it always was with is French accent, the same accent I get from him, but it matches his old gate of a slow step, finally he stands before me with that gentle smile, the scar of where he was shot was obvious, between his nose and his right eye, it’s a small scar, but the discoloration of an almost peach color against his porcelain skin makes it obvious, but it wouldn’t dare deter anyone from his looks, what might is his right eye has bloodshot streaks across it, he’s probably blind in the eye or can only see in shades of reds, but it’s better than not having an eye at all like in my case.

“D-dad..?” My voice was hoarse, it croaked out with a small whimper, I clearly couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I mean, would you? I doubt it.

I swing my arms around him, the grip being tight, it was amazing to hug him again, and feel the warmth of his arms, I can’t tell him how much I miss him as there’s simply no words to describe it. He keeps his smile and hugs back as well as he can, my strength might as well have been stopping him as he kisses my forehead.

“You’re alive..?” I whisper, my voice still croaking like a frog. 

His chuckle was smooth and low like any laugh of his was as he nods, “Of course I’m alive, Teacup, of course, hiding away really makes people think you’re dead.” He whispers and I whimper out as I hide my face in his chest, I don’t want him to see me cry, I don’t want him to see the tears as it might make him cry too, and I really don’t want that, I don’t know what it might do to his eye, and I don’t want to risk anything or see him cry either, mainly because I know it’ll make me cry harder.

He rubs my back gently and slowly, it was comforting, he used to always do that when I was sad, it always helped and it still does now, “Tell me you’ll come home, please?” I beg and I feel him nod as he holds me tight and pulls away, he still smiles lightly as I stare up and pull myself out of his grip, wiping away the tears.

“You’re a fine young man now,” He says, then his smile drops and he sighs, “I wish what happened didn’t and I know you wish the same, but we can’t change anything about it.” He says and I now.

“I’m happy to have you now.” I say and he smiles again.

“You may not think it, but you truly do deserve the placement in the family, I’ve had my turn and my run, I did my best, but it’s your turn now, and so far, I think you’re doing an amazing job.” He says, patting my head gently and my tail pops up happily with my ears as they perk up while I smile and sniff.

“You really think so?” I ask him and he nods gently. 

I am way too happy to see my dad again, but wouldn’t you if you were in my case?

“We can go home now, my Little Teacup.” He says and I smile wider and nod, hugging him tighter just one more time, then letting go before finally we start our way home.

“Do you think Kile will be happy to see me too?” He asks and I nod.

“We both have been wanting to see you, Kinzie too.” I say and he nods with a smile.

“I hope I get a hug from both of them when we get back.” He says, him still smiling and I can’t help but smile as well.