Artless

Harsh memories flooded her mind. Her thoughts flew back to her childhood. A Time when her beliefs on love was naive. She recalled in grave detail the moment she locked eyes with a guy that would change the course of her future. Justin is a bit of a procrastinator, slanky built with glass half full attitude combined with a beautiful smile. Was the type of guy that stood out in a crowd without trying. He was naturally adorable even in his early teens. A kind-hearted and gentle soul that deserved more than she was willing to give.

Simmone, now in her early thirties questioned her life- style and the choices she made to get there. Someone on the outside would look at her life and think she had it made. The perfect trophy wife’s dream came true. Kenneth is a well-known and established entrepreneur that owns many successful businesses. A man who came from money and thrived every day to maintain his wealth. A generous man that provided a very luxury lifestyle for his wife. Kenneth was an ideal man on paper, but Simmone learned quickly that a wealthy man is a busy man.

Friday 8:36 pm

Simmone, we need to talk. The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice sent painful chills throughout my whole body. My eyes begin to fill up with panic. At that moment I was so afraid. I was afraid that my past had caught up with me. Benjamin did not look mad, but his body language was tense. I was the one that approached him first. And that wasn’t like us. I tried to embrace him with a sincere hug, but he grabbed my arms. He stopped them in mid-air. There is something I must tell you. He stepped back a few steps and rubbed his head. I never thought I would meet someone like you. You got to understand love never came easy for me. Kenneth, I don’t understand what you are talking about. Please just get to the point. What is it that you must tell me? Whatever it is believe me I can take it. Kenneth spoke slowly, Ok, Simmone but be honest with me. Was I a good man to you? Of course, I love you, Kenneth. Simmone said sheeply. I notice how uncomfortable you get when asked about children in the future. Simmone took a deep sigh, because it was true. The thought of children always felt awkward. Kenneth adjusted his shirt and prepared himself for a confession about a choice he made years ago.

Sunday 11am Simmone and Violet

The sun was setting in the distance and there was a light breeze of clarity in the air. Two childhood friends share stories about past loves and sipping wine. So Violet, Simmone laid her glass of wine down and looked towards Violet. Can I ask you a personal question? Oh lord, have you had too much to drink already? They both giggled. No girl I’m serious. Ok, go ahead. Do you ever wish you could go back in time to change a certain situation. Or at least see how things would have turned out if you had made a different choice. Violet smile faded and her whole expression turned into a puzzle one. Well, Simmone, it sounds like you have a regret over something. Is everything okay? Simmone just looked away. She took her left arm and began to rub her right arm. Starting from her shoulder to her elbow. A thing she would do as a kid. Do you remember Justin. Justin, she said in a high-pitched voice. Yes, I remember Justin. She smiled. I remember you calling him your soul mate, and the poor boy wanted to marry you. Teasing Simmone. You too were inseparable, always together. Making sweet plans to have a house full of kids, while living on a farm with lots of land and animals.

Well, a few years ago I ran into him, and it was like nothing had changed. Simmone picked up her glass and took a long sip. And what happened. At first it was innocent. We exchanged numbers and social media information. Then the conversations got longer and more intimate. All those childhoods feeling came back with vengeance. Before I could think responsibly, I was head over hills in love with him. Violet just sat silently with big eyes and glued to every word I said. Justin came into my life when I was at my lowest. I was positioned to have anything and everything I wanted financially. My husband made sure of that, but I often felt empty inside. Kenneth is and has always been a great guy, he was boring and predictable. I know that sounds horrible, but he was always preoccupied with so many things. I felt so lonely and unseen. Then Violet finally spoke. Oh ok, now it all makes sense now. The regret is the affair. Simmone just drop her head and begin to cry. Violet laid one hand on Simmone knee, I do not condone cheating, but I understand. You are my friend, and I love you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed someone. Wiping Simmone tears away and giving her a hug. I know but there is more. Really? A few months in I became pregnant. Violet put her hand over her mouth.

Girl, this just keeps getting juicer and juicer. Did you tell Kenneth, no, did you tell Justin. She put her head in her hands. Yes, why? Kenneth told me at the beginning of our relationship that he didn’t want kids. At the time I agreed we wouldn’t have kids. So how could I tell him I was pregnant. Simmone, he is your husband and should be the one you confide in. Shaking her back and forth Simmone words became dry. I could not bring myself to tell him the truth. The fact that I got pregnant. Pregnant with a child, knowing he did not want in the first place might be another man’s child. Simmone needed a minute to calm down before explaining why she told Justin. So why did you tell Justin. Because before we became lovers, we were always friends. I could tell him anything without shame. He knew I was married. Well, what did he say? He wanted me to leave my husband, cushy lifestyle and be with him. He promised me he would raise the baby as if it was his rather or not it was true. Wait, wait waiiit. Stretching out the last wait in shock. Where is the baby now. Simmone got up and walked towards the window. I had an abortion. You what? Simmone no, please tell me you didn’t. Violet did not need a response because Simmone’s face told it all. Why are you telling me this now? Violet, I saw Justin yesterday, but he didn’t see me. I was close but I hid my face. He was downtown hand and hand with a beautiful woman. At that moment I envied everything about her. She was literally everything I was not. It wasn’t her beauty that caught my attention or the ring on her hand, but the fact that she was pregnant. She was glowing with confidence and carrying a baby with the man I let get away. Oh, sweetie I must have been tough seeing them together. Simmone just nodded but the real blow hit me when I was talking with Kenneth. Violet was surprised to hear Simmone say Kenneth.

A few days ago, Kenneth wanted to talk to me about something. I thought he found out about the affair and the abortion. But he told me he had gotten himself fix before we ever met. So do you know what this means. Simmone asking in a way that sounded like she needed reassurance. Justin came into my life at my lowest and time when I was lonely and questioned everything about life. Life was trying to tell me something but then I couldn’t see it clearly. I always felt my most alive with Justin, we wanted the same future as kids. He loved me in spite my flaws but, I married a man for wealth and security. Simmone tears had dried up before she could reveal where the had led her. I ruin my chance of being a mother and carrying a child to full term. The saddest part about my decision is I can’t go back.