Stranded

*Contains Miled Sexual content *

Stranded

We were in it together. Both of us alone in the ocean. Our heads bobbing with the waves. We had one surf board. Perhaps we can untangle ourselves from this mess before it even happened.

Every late June friends and colleges would celebrate the beginning of the summer. My family and I enjoyed getting their early, before the sun set. My two kids, Eli and Orly, had friends the same age. My wife and I would schmooze and enjoy some quality time. Friends from all social background- scientist, lawyers and doctors.

: Looking good Ellen, one said. He was commenting on my wife's figure. She's always thin and tall I thought.

:: I keep my husband around me all the time, she said. I wasn't sure I heard her correctly.

My wife and I had a secret agreement. She could hang and mess around with men, and I was to be a dutiful husband so she can go and afford the most expensive clothes – to party with "real men", that's what she put it. It seemed she knew up close some of them at the beach. Mutual friends of ours are messing with my wife, what does that make me? Below trash?

I was successful. It was up to me to provide my wife with a luxury lifestyle and I provided. I was a powerful CEO in a big investment company yielding millions of dollars a year in profit. Our customers were of most interest of course. It wasn't just any investment company. We were serving with a very risky stocks and investments. We promised a 15% increase every years- but for a minimum of 5 year investment. That allowed us to, incase one stock wasn't providing, to move from one client to another, thus insuring a guaranteed profit.

I wasn't paying much attention about my two kids. Honestly, I was more curious about who my wife was having an affair now. When she was in a good mood she would grab my groin and squeeze and say :" poor thing, I want you waiting for me by the door when I come back tonight. Waiting like a dog."

I had one friend who I expressed my feelings with. We would seat for coffee during my lunch break. She was a secretary ( But not mine) and she was young and pretty. She listened, and I start puffing and sneezing during the worst times. She tried to comfort me with words like" don't be so serious", and " I'd feel the same". But she didn't feel the same, because her husband wasn't like my wife. No wife was.

It all started before our marriage. Or maybe after I don't remember. But After our engagement she started to feel more confident.

: You will do as I tell you to, Otherwise no women will want you.

:: Who are you?, I said.

: Surrender, she said. Surrender yourself to me.

: I want your face. I want your ugly face.

When I asked my friend what that meant, she explained women, especially confident women, don't judge themselves too much. At one point, she said, they judge their husbands. "ok, so she doesn't take a hour every morning in the mirror?" It's more than that. They look around, and they don't want to be restricted to only one man. She probably connects with strangers for the night. It's a win for her, since she always has you. It's a win for the stranger for he not worries about complication and any commitments. "Where do I fit?", well, you are a cleaner. It's your job to put her in bed and act normal around her, no matter the extreme conditions.

:: Can you please tell me darling, what are your forbidden feelings, just so I can keep serving you the best way I can.

: You're not worthy she said. We are together, and you are stranded. I will turn you into a dutiful husband.

: I'm living. My marriage is my life. I want more restriction. I feel overwhelmed with pride. I deserve to be stranded.

She showed me pictures of her with strangers. Pictures more explicit than any words can describe. I felt lucky to be by her side. Sometimes she came home and went straight to bed. Other times she made me massage her feet while taking her makeup of. I didn't mind because I could feel her tired feet and I thought about how lucky I am.

Her stories with other men (strangers) often got me excited. I would beg her to show herself to me (we were married after all), She denied me every time. The more I begged the angrier she felt.

: your half the man I deserve

::

At the party at the beach I ate some meat and drank some wine. I was lightheaded. I felt confident. The feelings of being obedient and mister nice guy started to seem like a dream. A fantasy ofa younger me. I tried to keep my head cool. I was always to listen to my wife and be around her when she needed a drink or my money. I felt cold and salty water running on my face, through my hair. This is heaven, I felt. Surely it doesn't get better. I felt ice through my veins, In the corner of my eye I noticed my wife sharing a laugh with a family friend. He grabbed her arm and squeezed lightly. She Pulled her hair back. I could smell her hormones, that distinct smell of the body perspiring, the eye lids widening. I noticed their heads nearly touching. She is a mystery to me, was the last thing that came to mind.

"Give a women a fish and she shall have food for a day. Teach her how to fish and she will have food for life".

She will always be my mystery. I cannot separate her of my being. Life has brought her to me, and I shall take care of her and make sure she's happy. Because I must be grateful. She says she with me for a reason, the reason I can't understand. I need to listen to her, I've tried so hard and got so far. We even have two beautiful kids. I say I love her just as much if not more than she doesn't love me.

*Shout out to all the married couples (men and women) who are frustrated from each other but never give up. Thank you to my parents who celebrated 40 year anniversary and are going strong ( even if it's because the kids). *