Guidance

“What’s the plan?” Ms. Beder asked rushing into the main office to speak with the principle Mrs. Kennedy.

She appeared overwhelmed, “I guess we’ll make an announcement, um well, yea come over to my desk.” Ms. Beder followed Principle Kennedy over to her desk.

“Alright, well as head of guidance, I’ll definitely need your input on this,” Mrs. Kennedy said as she sat down and opened a file folder.

“I don’t think we’ve ever had something like this happen, but the kids must already know, it was all over social media last night.

“This girl’s parents must be in such a state,” I mean I talked to the police and they confirmed that it was, in fact, a suicide,” she continued. “There must be something in this damn file about how to handle this.”

Ms. Beder interrupted Mrs. Kennedy’s frantic search for an action plan. “Well, as soon as I saw this on my computer, I started planning on how to handle it and I think I’ve got it.”

Mrs. Kennedy stopped and took a deep breath, “Really? Thank Goodness. Let’s hear it.”

Ms. Beder handed Mrs. Kennedy a typed report entitled “Action Plan.” Mrs. Kennedy scanned the report mouthing some of the words as she read.

She looked at Ms. Beder, “this is what they did in the city, then?”

“Yes, it’s pretty standard, but like I said I tweaked it a little.”

“It looks good to me, thank you so much Laura, you’re a life saver, I don’t know how we got along without you, you have been a blessing to our little school.” Mrs. Kennedy said as she handed the plan back to Ms. Beder.

“Oh no, that’s your copy. I made copies for the whole guidance staff and enough for the main office staff.”

Mrs. Kennedy smiled and shook her head, “This is amazing Laura.”

“Thank you,” Mrs. Kennedy replied.

Ms. Beder gave her staff members the action plan and had a short meeting with the guidance staff. She also told them that she would need a volunteer to help her with an after-school group therapy session she was planning to implement for any students who might want to sign up for it. Jenna Cecere’s (the new counselor's) hand shot up immediately. Laura scanned the rest of the room and saw nothing but down-turned heads and uninterested faces.

“Well um Jeannie I guess it’s just you and me,” Laura sighed.

“It’s Jenna Ma'am’ Jenna Cecere.”

“I’m sorry, just you and me Jenna. Oh and feel free to call me Laura, most of the staff does.” Laura smiled and retreated to the main office; the students were beginning to arrive.

Once the hallways were clear and the school day started, the Principle began her morning announcements.

“Good morning students today is Friday and as we prepare for the weekend, there are a few announcements. First, the JV softball practice has been rescheduled from Monday to Wednesday, all other practices are the same. Now, as you may have heard there was a tragic incident that happened on Wednesday night. We all send our deepest sympathy to the friends and family of Allison Webb and now Ms. Beder, head of guidance, has an announcement to make regarding the incident.”

“Good morning, this is Ms. Beder, the head of guidance. We will be offering help to any students who’d like to talk about the tragic loss of Allison Webb and we will also be offering group counseling after school on Monday. You can pick up a permission slip in either the main office or the guidance office any time today. Thank you, have a great day!”

E-mails, texts and automated phone calls went out to parents and the day began.

Ms. Beder kept an eye out for any students asking for permission slips from the guidance office. After lunch, a group of three girls came in for them, only one of them seemed terribly upset. Another girl, a tall brunette came in behind them and grabbed one of the three girls by the hair,

"You get out of here!" She said to the little blonde girl she had by the hair. Mr. Shaw got up and ordered the brunette to let go.

“No!” She screamed at him, “these bitches are the reason Ally killed herself, these nasty bitches are why!”

Ms. Beder stood up and told the three girls to leave right now. She put her hand on the brunette girl’s back and led her into her office as she began sobbing.

The permission slip was still crumpled in her hand when Ms. Beder asked her to please sit down.

“It’s okay. Try to relax, it’s going to be okay?”

“I knew they would come in here,” she said through her sobs.

“Alright now what’s your name hon?”

She sighed, “it’s Melissa, I just want to go home please.” 

Ms. Beder replied sounding worried. “Alright, we can call your parents. First though, what’s your last name and what happened back there?”

Melissa was still breathing fast, although the tears had stopped. “It’s Spencer, that’s my last name and those three girls tormented Ally, they never left her alone.” She began tearing up again.

Ms. Beder nodded, “I see, do you want to talk about it or maybe join our group after school?” I will talk to those girls too, find out why they wanted to join okay? If it’s insincere I’ll know and I won’t allow them in, but do you think it’s possible that they are upset or feeling guilty?”

Melissa rolled her eyes, “of course not, they’re evil.”

“Ally and you were close friends then, I’m guessing?”

“Well yea, I mean we used to be, we grew up being friends and I sort of watched out for her even though we didn’t really hang out as much now. She was, I don’t know, a little awkward and she wasn’t very hygienic, but she was a person and they treated her like an animal. I’ve seen it and I’ve stood up for her a few times.”

Melissa began crying hard again, “I should have been there for her more, I guess I was a little embarrassed about being around her, but I never said so,” she said through her tears.

“Okay, I’m going to take you to the nurse and ask her to excuse you for the rest of the day, make sure your parents sign the permission slip and we can also talk on Monday during the group, okay?”

“Alright, thanks.”

The three girls were in the principal’s office giving an account of their side of the story, but Ms. Beder just quietly led Melissa to the nurse’s office and had her excused.

“I’ll talk to Principle Kennedy too, explain the circumstances and see what I can do.”

Melissa said she didn’t care but smiled a little and headed outside to wait for her mom.

After school Laura stopped by the Wilson Public Library and found some books on suicide and grief and made her way home. Her two cats Sophie and Vanessa met her at the door meowing for their dinner.

The cats followed her as she set her things down on the couch and took off her heels.

“Oh, that’s better,” she told the cats who were still “crying” for their dinner.

“How very spoiled of you two to keep up that meowing,” she said as she filled their bowls with half a can each of soft food, then dry to mix in. The cats were climbing up her legs by that time and nearly tripped her as she set down their bowls. She refilled their water, made herself a cup of coffee and plopped on the couch to check out the books she borrowed. She would make a questionnaire for the students and then they would talk about the answers. That sounded simple enough, she guessed and turned on the TV.

Before she knew it, it was Monday morning, Laura wondered how things went over the weekend as she sat at her desk and listened to the morning announcement from Mrs. Kennedy.

“Good morning students we are looking forward to a brand-new week. The only announcement I have for you right now is that again, we extend our deepest sympathies to the friends and family of Allison Webb. There will be a group counseling session with Ms. Beder and Ms. Cecere after school in room 107B for students who have signed permission slips.

Laura went over to Jenna’s desk to explain the group to her. “We’ll start with a moment of silence and maybe some deep breathing if the kids look very anxious. I made up a questionnaire for them to fill out and we can go through that. We only have an hour and I’m hoping we don’t have to drag this out for more than one session, it’s hard on the kids and I think their may be some animosity between some of them.”

“Sounds perfect.” Jenna said.

“Thank you! I’ll see you later.” Laura answered.

A few minutes before the students were dismissed for the day, the two women, one a short chubby 38-year-old brunette and the other a short thin 25-year-old blonde made their way to room 107B. Laura sighed, she felt like an old brown blimp walking down the hallway next to a sleek new jet.

“Let’s get these desks in a wide circle and if there are less kids, we can push them closer.” Ms. Cecere suggested.

“Sounds good.” Laura replied and helped make the circle of desks leaving room for two chairs.

“That’ll be the day I’ll ever fit into one of those things again.” Laura remarked.

As they were about to sit down, two of the three girls that got Melissa Spencer all fired up on Friday walked in. They each handed Ms. Beder their permission slips.

“Okay um Sally and Heather,” Laura said as she looked at their names, “we’re not going to have any arguing in here okay?” The girls nodded and sat down next to each other a few desks to the left of the counselors. They looked both sad and perhaps a bit guilty or maybe worried to Laura.

After that, one boy and two girls walked in and handed their permission slips to Ms. Cecere. Jenna smiled at them.

“This is Mark, Melissa and Katie.” Jenna said out loud looking at Laura and handing the papers to her.

Melissa looked angry and upset and her two friends just looked a little sad. They sat down opposite of Sally and Heather.

Laura got up and handed them each a questionnaire. “We’ll wait a few for minutes and then we’ll begin.” She told them before sitting back down and whispering to Jenna, “there may be a little trouble, but I hope not. Just be prepared.” Jenna nodded back at her.

“Okay, so we have one, two, um five of you. Do any of you know if anyone else is coming?” Laura looked around at them and noticed the girl Katie raise her hand.

“Um, Mike White might be coming or at least that’s what I heard.”

“Alright well would you two boys pull some of these desks out so that we can move a little bit closer. Leave three for any latecomers.”

“Here’s Mike.” Katie, a petite brunette with both braces and glasses, said and pointed to a boy with long brown hair who looked a little unstable to both the counselors.

“Well, that must be everyone.” Ms. Beder said and handed him a questionnaire before he sat down in between the two other groups.

Sally and Heather were of course, very pretty girls whom Laura thought were here to apologize to someone, maybe Melissa.

“Do any of you need a pen?” Ms. Cecere asked.

Three hands went up and Jenna handed out pens.

“I’m going to give you a few minutes to fill out the questionnaire and then we’ll get started.” Ms. Meder said to the students who all seemed to be working diligently on their questions.

The two counselor's waited “Okay, well it’s been about ten minutes, if you aren’t finished that’s fine." Laura told the students.

The first question asks," how well did you know Allison? Does anybody want to start?”

Katie’s hand went up, Laura nodded to her to start.

“Well, Ally was one of my best friends here at school and she was my lab partner in biology class. I didn’t really see her much outside of school though. She was always so nice to me.”

Next Mike spoke up, “She was, I don’t know sort of my girlfriend I guess.”

Mark said, “She was a good friend of mine, we’ve known each other since grade school, we’d hang out sometimes.”

“She was my absolute best friend, we spent all of our lives together almost, at least since first grade. We were growing apart though; I blew her off a few times to hang out with other people a lot lately.” Tears sprung up in her eyes and Ms. Cecere went over to her with a box of tissues.

“How about you, Sally? How well did you know Allison?” Jenna asked.

“I knew her since like middle school, we played together sometimes back then. When we started high school, we didn’t really hang out or anything.” I made fun of her instead or well, went along with it anyway.” Sally looked down at the floor.

“And Heather?” Laura asked.

“Well pretty much the same as Sally except I was so hard on her. I was a bitch.” Her eyes lowered.

“I see,” Ms. Beder said, “let’s get to that after the questions, okay?”

Ms. Beder looked over at Melissa who was still angry. “The next question starts out with a statement. Suicide can be especially difficult to talk about because it can be so shocking and sudden which often leaves us with questions that we can’t answer, especially why did this happen? It can also lead to feelings of guilt for not stopping it from happening or who or what made her do this? If you could ask Allison one question, what would that question be?”

“Heather?”

Heather began to cry, “I guess I’d want to know if it was because of the things we did or was it more than that?”

“You’re just here because you want to find out if it was your fault! You just want to make yourself feel better about how you treated her!” Melissa yelled, pointing at both Heather and Sally and then breaking into tears. Ms. Cecere looked around for another box of tissues and then excused herself to go get more.

“You just said you blew her off, what gives you the right to blame us?” Sally yelled back.

“Okay, let’s take some deep breaths girls, we’re not here to assign blame. We’re here to talk about our feelings and get some information on dealing with those feelings,” Ms. Meder said, then moved on to Sally.

“Do you have the same questions as Heather?”

“I guess,” Sally answered.

Ms. Cecere came back into the room with three more boxes of tissues and handed them out.

“Alright, let’s move on to the next person.” Ms. Meder said.

Mark spoke up next. “I’d want to know why she didn’t call me or tell me she was feeling so bad?”

“I’d probably ask her the same thing.” Mike said.

Katie said, “yea, I think I would ask her that too.”

“Melissa? How about you?”

“I’m pretty sure I already know why she did it,” was all she said.

Ms. Cecere spoke up, “You know I got picked on a lot in high school, actually not just picked on, bullied. It made me feel so bad about myself and I didn’t want to tell anyone because I was ashamed, and I believed what they said. So many young people who are teased or bullied in school don’t tell anyone for the same reason. I didn’t commit suicide though and I’m not saying that’s not why, but there could have been other things that we may never know. Blaming someone else or yourself is a common feeling when you’re grieving. We feel like this must be someone’s fault, it can’t just have happened. I suggest looking at the stages of grief and if it’s still bothering you after a week or so, then ask your parents to get you into therapy or even just come talk to one of us.”

Ms. Meder was impressed with Jenna’s take on this and was glad she was on her team.

“Okay, I asked you all to do something in the last question. Besides what Ms. Cecere said which is an excellent thing to do let’s all hold hands and have a moment of silence for Ally.” Everyone held hands and there was silence interrupted only by some sniffs.

“Let’s all think about forgiveness too, holding onto anger is not good for anybody, okay?”

Everyone agreed to try then Melissa looked over at Heather and said, “I’ll forgive you, but I don’t know when I’ll feel better.”

Heather then told everyone, “I’m never going to tease anyone again like I did, I promise.”

Sally nodded in agreement.

“That’s a good start for all of us. I think we’ve all learned so much by meeting here today. Grieving is a process that includes forgiveness and maturity which I believe you all have.” Ms. Beder said.

She looked at the clock and leaned in, “okay guys, we’re out of time. Remember what we said, talk to your parents, read the literature and come see us anytime.”

“We did it.” Jenna said after all the students left the room and they were putting a couple of desks back.

“Yes, we did Jenna, just me and you. I hope the next teacher in here needs tissues.” They both laughed through a few tears,

“Yes, and I expect we’ll see a few of those kids in our office over the next few weeks,” Jenna replied.